In the Eyes of the Beholder
by Miss Celeste
Summary: He doesn't know what to do after he's lost everything and everyone. She doesn't know what to do when she finds him nearly dead in her yard. In the eyes of the beholder, one might see that he's dangerous. In hers, all she sees is but a broken soldier. Post-DOTM/Pre-AOE. CrosshairsxOC.
1. Chapter 1

Today's become a very eventful day.

Not so much for Ellie personally, but more for the country itself. Or, more specifically, the government. Ellie has never been too big on the modern day's news -all the biases and propaganda are more than enough to urge her to switch to a soap opera. But lately she's found herself looking past all of the typical political toxicity, if only to keep herself aware of the bizzare events going on ever since humanity recieved a rather ride and abrupt wakeup call years ago in Mission City.

It's a crazy world to live in with the knowledge that beings like Cybertronians exist. She remembers all of the media and the rumors and the endless talk of what happened in Mission City in 2006, in Egypt two years later, and in Chicago just three years after that. She remembers when a new and formerly secret branch of military had been created, N.E.S.T., and when it had gone public and explained that Earth was facing a war beyond anything it's faced and before and that they've joined forces with a faction of Cybertronians called Autobots. Autobots, who had pledged to protect Earth from their more aggressive counterpart, the Decepticons.

It's a lot for Ellie to take in, even now. She's seen footage of them and somehow it's difficult for her to imagine human soldiers fighting alongside such colossal, powerful creatures. If they can even be considered such. Ellie's always wondered how scientists could possibly explain their very existence. According to N.E.S.T, they're classified as simply biomechanical lifeforms. Not of flesh and blood and carbon, but capable of breathing and feeling and thinking all the same.

_"They live,"_ once said N.E.S.T.'s founding commander, William Lennox, during a public speech at the White House,_ "They live just like we do. Just in a way that we don't, and possibly never will, understand."_

Ellie eyes the television mounted on the kitchen counter. The news channels are practically eating at today's events like famished hyenas, what with the recent destruction of N.E.S.T.'s headquarters in Washington DC. Sources say it's a betrayal on the Autobots' part, that after Chicago the government had issued a CIA unit to put N.E.S.T. in lockdown. Instead of a simple lockdown, however, the Autobots have apparently retaliated, attacking the CIA and thus resulting in a violent bloodbath that has resulted in the eventual bombing of the headquarters entirely.

Something about the situation doesn't sit well with Ellie personally. It doesn't seem right that the Autobots, whom have saved and protected the human race for so long, have suddenly decided to attack. In the years they've been on Earth Ellie has only heard of all the good they've done. The only exception is Chicago, when leaked information had revealed that it was indeed a single Autobot who had initiated that catastrophe. N.E.S.T. had taken responsibility, even volunteered to help rebuild the destroyed city. Yet the government has decided it wants to try and shut down N.E.S.T. completely, which resulted in sending the CIA and in turn resulted in what Ellie deems is a fishy event that she isn't sure is truly the Autobots' fault.

But alas, it isn't as if her opinion is going to change anything. The government has already labeled the Autobots fugitives and is urging the public to turn them in regardless of what public opinion is at. It's no secret that a lot of civilians are distrustful after knowing an Autobot had attempted to destroy Earth not too long ago. But Ellie's always had her logic to fall back on -even among aliens, there's always a bad apple. The rest of them shouldn't be judged by just that.

Sighing softly Ellie glances periodically through the glass back door, where her kids are outside playing. She doesn't feel completely comfortable with them being out while a national debacle is in play, especially since they only live a handful of hours away from DC, but it's the weekend and God forbid she keeps them cooped up in the house for too long. Instead she ensures they stay within easy sight and she has her shotgun loaded and ready -hidden away for the kids' sake but there in case it's needed. Which isn't very likely considering their property is tucked away in the woods.

Ellie finishes up the last of the dishes and pulls open the glass door, "Maddie! Charlie! Time to come inside, kiddos."

"Okay Mom!" Her daughter replies. Ellie watches, amused, as her twelve-year-old daughter signs quickly to her eight-year-old son. He nods and they abandon their rock throwing game in favor of running inside. She ruffles Charlie's curly brown hair as he hops by and he giggles. She takes one last sweep at the backyard before she shuts the door, locks it and pulls the shades over it.

When she turns around, she sees to her dismay that she's forgotten to switch channels. Madison and Charlie are staring at the television as reporters drawl on about the DC incident. The controversies around it are far too complicated for their little heads but Ellie would rather her kids not be too exposed to such opinionated arguments. Quickly she grabs the remote and turns on some cartoons. Charlie doesn't mind the change at all, but Maddie turns to her looking troubled.

"They said the Autobots are bad now," she says with a frown, "Is that right, Mommy? I thought only the scary ones with red eyes are bad."

Ellie opens her mouth but finds it difficult to give a suitable answer that her daughter will understand. Tucking a stray piece of light brown hair behind her ear, Ellie decides to answer somewhat honestly, "I... don't know, sweetie. I don't think anyone knows for sure who's good and bad. They're just guessing. They don't exactly know what happened."

"They said the 'Bots attacked," Maddie said.

"Yes, they did."

Maddie scrunches her face up in thought, "I hope they're wrong."

Ellie blinks, not having expected her daughter to say something like that, "Why's that, honey?"

"I don't want the Autobots to be like Dad," Maddie says, hugging her mother close, "I don't want good guys to be bad."

A tight feeling grips Ellie in the stomach. She closes her eyes and sighs, soothing her hands over Maddie's hair. She feels a second smaller pair of arms embrace her and Ellie sadly smiles.

"Me neither, Maddie."

Ellie had made her kids some sandwiches for lunch when very odd noises begin to erupt from outside. At first she can't place what it is she's hearing, but as it grows closer and closer the entire property begins to shake more and more violently. Before she knows it Ellie is running on full maternal instinct and she's shoving Maddie and Charlie into the closet even as they protest in confusion.

Charlie whimpers.

"Mom, what's going on?"

Ellie shushes them and continues to stuff them into the small space until they're in the very back and hidden behind a lot of old and thick winter coats, "Stay in here. Do not come out until I tell you to, do you understand?"

"But-" Maddie began.

"No buts! Stay. In. Here," Ellie says firmly, signing along as well so that her son can see, "No matter what, you don't come out, either of you. Understand?"

She doesn't wait for confirmation. Instead Ellie shuts the closet door and practically lunges for her shotgun before daring to venture towards the back door. The property trembles again once, twice, and then there's nothing. Ellie holds her breath and tentatively reaches out with her free hand to swipe the blinds to the side. There's nothing outside at first glance, but then she almost screams as something massive casts a shadow across her backyard and then comes crashing down with a booming impact that shakes the house more than it ever has before.

Ellie isn't entirely sure what she's looking at. It's a huge unmoving mass of red and blue that's more than likely torn up the grass in the yard. Common sense tells her not to step a foot outside that door, but after waiting for what feels like hours and not seeing a single movement, Ellie carefully unlocks the door and risks easing outside for a better look.

Walking slowly, shotgun in hand, she openly gaps at the full sight of what has quite literally dropped into her property. It isn't hard to figure it out now. She sees the unmistakably bipedal frame that's collapsed on its side and instantly knows she has a Cybertronian in her backyard. An unconscious one, it seems. And badly injured. Its back is to her but Ellie doesn't need to be a tech expert to know that there's a lot of things wrong with it. In various places there's sparking and cackling. The red and blue paint has been scorched away all along its massive body, leaving behind ugly stains of charcoal black. The air smells of raw electricity and burning metal.

DC's incident echoes in her mind. N.E.S.T. had gotten bombed, undoubtedly killing many human as well as Autobot soldiers. Ellie had wondered if anyone managed to escape. She supposes the answer is right in front of her, in the form of a half dead Autobot collapsed on her property. Carefully and as silently as possible Ellie rounds the titan of a creature and checks for anything else that may have meandered to her house and luckily finds nothing.

She debates on what to do. The obvious choice is to call 911 and report that she's inevitably ended up with a badly damaged Autobot passed out in her backyard. It's the sensible thing to do in this situation, but Ellie has quite unwisely left her phone in the house. Somehow, though, she has an unsettling feeling that calling the police isn't going to help this Autobot. In fact, she may as well be sentencing it to death if she even thinks about dialing 911.

It doesn't seem right to just... leave it out here either. But Ellie doesn't want to call the authorities just yet and it's not like she can move the metallic giant anywhere. Tapping a finger on her shotgun in thought, she bites her lip before deciding to head back inside and instead somehow explain this to her kids. Right now she has no other options.

She tentatively walks alongside the Autobot to go around it, but almost as soon as she's near its head she sees a pair of bright blue lights flash on and suddenly the deathly still frame springs into motion.

This time Ellie does scream. She scrambles away as fast as she can as the Autobot clambers to its feet faster than what Ellie would think is even possible. The ground shakes under the weight of its spastic footsteps, causing her to lose her balance and fall back. Looking up, Ellie finds herself face to face with a monster of a gun barrel trained down onto her.

She's gripping her own shotgun more as a security blanket than something to defend herself with. This isn't a gunfight she even has a chance in. For a fleeting moment she believes she's going to die and her last thoughts go her terrified children in the closet. What's going to become of them?

But surprisingly the Autobot doesn't shoot. Instead it whirls around, huge gun aimed, as if its scanning its surroundings. Evidently it's not too concerned about its physical state and doesn't see her as an imminent threat either. Ellie still refuses to move right away, though, on the knowledge that the massive being can still kill her instantly if it feels the need to. She watches nervously as it looks around and notes how it sways unsteadily on its feet and how it shakes its head often, as if dizzied or confused. The Autobot is definitely weak.

When it's done looking around its head snaps back down to her. Ellie can't help but to flinch under its piercing blue stare. It stumbles again, and then speaks.

"Who are you?"

It's a he, clearly. Ellie's mouth gaps like a fish for a moment before managing to squeak out, "I-I'm Ellie. You... you collapsed in my yard."

"What..."

He spins around again and apparently does it too fast since he nearly loses his balance again. Ellie takes the spare moment to get up and scramble towards the house so that she's at a safer distance. The Autobot rambles noises that don't sound like any human language. His voice is low and rough, the grittiness of it on par with sandpaper. In the few English words he's spoken Ellie thinks she detects an accent of some sort. She waits for him to say something, anything she can understand, but all he does is stare at her house and struggle to not fall over again.

"You need help," she says, "You're hurt."

"No," the Autobot growls, viciously enough to make her jump. He waves his gun dangrously her way, "Don't need any fraggin' help."

"Is there... anyone I can call-?"

"NO!" he roars, all but making Ellie's heart skip a few beats, "No... no calling. Don't call!"

Ellie waves her hands in surrender, "Okay! Okay! No calling. I won't call anyone. I promise."

"Better not..." the Autobot hisses, lowering his weapon and looking away, "They'll kill me. Kill you, too."

Ellie isn't sure who he's talking about but if that's the case, maybe calling really isn't the best idea. But she isn't sure what she's going to do with ten tons and thirty feet of broken Autobot. She doubts he'll go away anytime soon and she has a feeling that keeping him hidden is probably very illegal. Then again, what choice does she have?

The Autobot begins to cough. It's intriguing at first to see him doing something so human but Ellie's interest instantly turns to disturbance when he collapses onto his knees and violently hacks until a stream of neon blue liquid pours from his mouth. She looks away but she can hear his mechanical groaning and gasping, telling her that he's vomiting very painfully. When she looks back the Autobot has a large palm on the ground and the other on the scorched armor of his stomach. He looks devastated, weak and intimidating all at once.

"They killed him," he whimpers in a static laced voice, "Oh Primus, they _killed_ him!"

Ellie's at a loss. She watches helplessly as this Autobot spirals lower and lower into an emotional hole that is terrifyingly heartbreaking as it is surreal. One of the most powerful living things in existence was having a mental meltdown in her backyard, armor trembling and shoulders shaking as he whines and sobs and mourns himself sick once again. What looks to be a simple giant robot on the outside is actually a true living being, with feelings and thoughts and a mind as fragile any human. It's in this moment that Ellie realizes that William Lennox was right, and the government is wrong.

She takes a deep breath and lowers her shotgun to the ground. Gathering up her nerves, Ellie forces herself to slowly approach the distraught Autobot until he finally looks at her.

"I'm sorry," she says sincerely, "about what happened to you."

He stares at her for a long moment. His glowing eyes short out twice before they go out completely and he collapses once again, completely unconscious. The impact isn't as forceful as it was when he was standing earlier but Ellie nearly loses her balance again still.

She backs away and after determining that the Autobot is indeed out cold, she picks up her shotgun and races inside. She ensures her house is completely secured with all the windows and doors. Once she does that she stands idly in the living room, running her tremoring fingers through her blonde hair and letting her mind mull over what has just happened.

_There's an Autobot. In my backyard. God, there's an Autobot in my backyard..._

Of all the places he had to wander into, it has to be her home. What in the world is she going to do now?

"Mom?"

Maddie's voice calls from the hallway meekly. At her daughter's voice Ellie rushes over and rapidly tries to think up a suitable explanation for her children on a situation that not even she can fully grasp. Her heart races at the thought of how she's going to deal with all of this. There's an alleged threat to national security in her backyard. Unconscious. Dangerous. Broken.

Today's an eventful day for her after all. And ultimately, everything's going to prove to be eventful for the months yet to come.

* * *

_**So in the midst of being burnt out on Savior and outlining/planning out my other publishes stories, this little plot bunny kept nipping at me until I finally gave it some attention. I recently rewatched Dark of the Moon and Age of Extinction, which inspired me to write a story that takes place in between, featuring an Autobot who doesn't get a lot of attention. Y'all know I have a soft spot for underused 'Bots, so viola.**_

_**My current update schedule for this story is every Monday. And yes, I can actually have a schedule because I've already got a load of chapters written!**_

_**Please, let me know what you think! Reviews are always appreciated and loved! :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

He onlines to an aching frame, an error filled processor, and the sun glaring in his sensitive optics.

Something of a whine claws it's way out of his damaged vocal processor and he has to vent in deeply before forcing himself to sit up. Everything hurts. Every movement is painful, inside and out. His limbs feel as though they're about to come off. His ventilation is labored and raspy with residue smoke and other toxic elements. His low fuel levels mean that it's going to take a while before they get filtered out of him. His armor is sore and crusted over with black, half-smelted plates and there's sharp shrapnel lodged beneath his armor, stabbing and cutting into his protoform underneath. The toxic levels in his ventilation render his systems hypersensitive and his tank unstable. He has to suppress a sudden urge to purge.

His processors are lagging. It's difficult to recall what's happened, where he is, and why he's here. Trying to remember makes his entire helm throb so he discards that and instead resets his optics and looks around. What he finds is a trio of little eyes staring back at him from the house he's apparently collapsed near. It's a human female and two offspring, one considerably younger than the other. The little girl looks remarkably similar to her creator, all except the light brown hair. The little boy differs, with curlier darker brown hair and brown eyes. All three of them continue to stare and he doesn't know what else to do other than to stare back. How did he end up here?

"Stay back, kids," the woman says, holding a hand out to stop her offspring before they can move past her. They're hovering just inside the house and she's standing in front of the open door. There's a natural confidence in her defensive stance that mildly intrigues him. Paternal instinct no doubt.

"Why am I here?"

"You tell me," the woman says, a frown on her lips, "You're the one who came here and passed out in my yard."

He doesn't remember that. Or if he does, his neural systems are still far too frazzled to function properly. That's going to take a while to recover, too. His mind.

What he does vaguely recall are the echoes of explosions ringing his still damaged audio receptors. He remembers the scorching heat of the bombs and the screaming of N.E.S.T. soldiers, his kind and humankind alike. He remembers a pair of wide blue optics, a smaller gray frame clinging to his, a young voice sobbing into his armor. The memory fights to come back but his processors glitch again. He flinches in pain.

_**"̴I̶ ̷d̸o̶n̵'̶t̴ ̴w̶a̸n̴t̸ ̷t̴o̶ ̷d̶i̵e̶!̷ ̷P̵l̵e̸a̷s̶e̶,̸ ̶C̸r̴o̵s̶s̷h̵a̶i̸r̶s̴,̸ ̸I̸ ̶d̸o̷n̵'̸t̸ ̴w̷a̵n̶t̸ ̴t̴o̸ ̴d̷i̸e̶!̵"̵**_

Someone utters a distressed noise. It doesn't occur to him that it's himself until he places a servo over his mouth. His tank churns. He wants to purge again. N.E.S.T., gone. Almost all of his comrades, gone. Most of his recent memories, gone.

"You can't stay here."

* * *

Ellie swallows the nervous lump in her throat at the way he looks at her. She quickly adds, "I'm sorry, but... you just can't. It's not safe for my kids. I can't harbor you any longer because it's illegal and-"

The Autobot heaves and throws up again. It's significantly less blue liquid that comes out this time and he's mostly dry heaving and gasping in pain. It's almost scary to Ellie how human he looks in this moment. It hadn't ever occurred to her that these things were even capable of being sick. She just hopes that whatever he's expelling isn't going to ruin her lawn later. Or leave traces of him being here, more importantly.

"How long?" The Autobot spits out without looking.

"Have you been here?" Ellie prompts. He nods and she answers, "About a day."

This time he does look at her, confusion very evident in his metallic features. Ellie's surprised by how expressive he is, "Yeah, after you passed out last time you were out all night and this morning."

The Autobot's face scrunches, as if he's got a killer headache. Now that she thinks about it, he probably does. It's not far fetched for Cybertronians to have headaches if they can throw up.

"Did you hear what I said?" Ellie says, just an ounce of boldness filling her, "You need to leave my property. Right now."

The Autobot's gaze turns cold. He snorts and leans forward, "Or what?"

She pulls out her phone, "Or I'll call. Either you leave and I don't say a thing or I'll report you and have you forcibly removed. Your choice."

Threatening an injured Cybertronian isn't the wisest thing to do. She knows that. But her children are her priority and she's not about to let them be in danger because of this Autobot. Deep down she knows she's not going to call anyone. She knows she's dealing with a broken soldier, struggling to come to terms with what he's just experienced. He himself isn't a threat to anyone -but the act of keeping him here is. She hopes he doesn't call her bluff and leaves without conflict.

The Autobot doesn't say or do anything, but the dangerous glint in his glowing eyes is enough of a hint that Ellie's taking a big risk. There's a million different ways he can stop her from calling and they both know it.

"Please leave," she says, "I don't want to call. But I will if I have to."

Her phone abruptly leaves her grasp. Ellie yelps and makes to get her only leverage back when she sees Maddie at her side, hiding the device behind her back. Her daughter jerks away whenever she tries to reach for it.

"Madison!" Ellie whispers, "What are you doing?"

"I won't let you call, Mom," Maddie says, shaking her head, "I won't let you do it."

"He can't stay here, Maddie!"

"Why not?" Maddie points to the Autobot, "Look at him, Mom. He's hurt. He needs help."

Ellie shakes her head, "Maddie we can't help him-"

"We can try," she says, and just like that Ellie is at a loss for words. She sees the determination and compassion in Maddie's eyes and knows her daughter isn't going to make this easy. She's frustrated and proud of her all at once. Ellie glances at the Autobot, who's since curled into himself with his head in his hands, and then meets Maddie's gaze again. She sighs.

"Okay. Okay, he can stay. But!" Ellie cuts her daughter off before she can speak, "I don't want you or Charlie anywhere near that Autobot. I know they're not bad guys, but I don't think he wants to be bothered. I'll... keep him in the garage or something. Keep him hidden. But under _no_ circumstance-"

She stops short when she realizes that Charlie isn't behind her anymore. With panic gripping her Ellie twirls around until she spots her son just mere feet from the Autobot. The little boy is looking up at the titan with big wondrous eyes and the Autobot has taken notice and is staring back down rather uncomfortably.

"Charlie!" Ellie sprints and grabs him before Charlie can get any closer, forcing him to look at her so she can sign with trembling hands, "Stay away from him! I don't want you to get hurt, do you understand?"

Charlie looks down, bringing his little fist to rub a circle on his chest. 'I'm sorry.'

"It's okay, baby, just..." glancing up, Ellie watches as the Autobot groans again and holds his evidently aching head in his hands again. A strange whistling noise keeps emitting from him and it takes her a moment to realize it's his breathing. Or... ventilation, whatever it can be considered. In any case he's wheezing, sparking, throwing up and suffering from severe burns and God knows what other traumas. Ellie has the notion that she's looking at the haunted shell of whoever this Autobot was before surviving DC.

Charlie tugs on her, urging her eyes back to him. With a deep frown he points to the Autobot and signs, 'sad'.

Ellie frowns and holds her son close, putting her fingers to her head and then signing further, "I know. He's sad."

'I want him to feel better,' Charlie signs. He looks up at her with his big doe eyes, 'Are we going to make him feel better?'

With an unsure sigh, she takes one more look at the emotionally distraught Autobot and nods, "We'll try."

* * *

"Maddie, help me with this?"

Running over to her mother Maddie readily grabs the other side of the small workbench and helps to move it against the garage wall. Once they set it down Ellie wipes her forehead and takes in a breath, looking for the next thing to move. Their seperate garage has been practically abandoned for years and is filled with boxes and shelves of junk, tools, and parts. Ellie doesn't think she's stepped a foot in it since the divorce.

"Do you think he's going to fit in here, Mom?" Maddie asks. She helps Ellie move the last of the boxes, leaving a large open space in the garage. Ellie places her hands on her hips and bites her lip.

"It's going to be a tight fit, but I think we can make it work," Ellie says. Then again, this is assuming that the Autobot is going to move. He's been in the same spot for two days now. Too weak, too devastated, it's hard to say. Ellie can imagine it's both. But if he's going to stay, he's going to have to be kept hidden. For his sake and their own. Ellie's pretty positive that she's committing a crime that will earn her more time than murder.

Maddie frowns, "I don't understand."

"Understand what, honey?"

"Why are Autobots bad now? Why is everyone afraid of them?" Maddie wanders to the open entrance and looks at the Autobot outside, "They protect us, don't they?"

"Yes, Maddie, but..." Ellie struggles for a suitable explanation. It's hard to do when not even she understands what's going on between the government and the Autobots, "They say the Autobots attacked people. And because of that, people are afraid of them."

"Do you believe that?" Maddie asks earnestly, looking back at her mother.

Ellie clenches her jaw, "No, Maddie. I don't."

Maddie glances outside, "Me neither. He looks too scared to be mean."

After determining that they've made just enough room to accommodate an Autobot, Ellie meanders outside and slowly approaches the Autobot. He sits with his knees pulled up and his eyes are dimmed as if he's entirely off of Earth within his mind. She can still hear the sickly rattling of his ventilation. Ellie sends her daughter back into the safety of the house with her brother before addressing him.

"Hey..." she starts, a little lamely. The Autobot doesn't respond. It doesn't look like he even hears her.

"Hey!" Ellie says, louder this time. This time he jerks and finally snaps out of his daze. When he looks down his glowing blue stare is blank and intense. Ellie has to look away. She swallows thickly and points to the garage, "Garage is cleared out. If we're going to keep you, you're staying hidden. One helicopter will doom us all."

He continues to stare at her and Ellie wonders if he has even heard her at all. But then his gaze slides to the open garage. It's evident that he's not completely there in the head but he seems to understand enough and moves to get up. It takes a while -he gasps and winces with every movement and he's still so weak that he barely has the strength to pull himself up. Ellie is still unsettled by how such a large being can look so exhausted and in pain.

When he makes it to his feet the Autobot doesn't move right away. Instead he looks at her again with an expression that makes her a bit uncomfortable. She doesn't meet his eyes and gestures to the garage again, "Garage, please. Before I change my mind."

He moves finally, with heavy steps and a nasty looking limp. Ellie can hear his scorched plates of armor grind over each other and frowns upon imagining how tender his entire body must feel. She thinks it must be somewhat similar to suffering from third degree burns. She begins to feel more sorry than glad that he barely survived the bombing.

She follows him warily, keeping a fair distance in case he ends up collapsing again. It's a little awkward watching him bend down but the Autobot clambers into the garage easily enough. She waits until the noises die down before she trots inside to see how he's settled. The Autobot sits against the back of the garage, his arms wrapped around himself. It looks like he's already fallen back into the blank, haunted state he was in when he was still in the yard. He shivers just slightly.

"Um... are you cold?" She asks, but the Autobot has taken to continuing his blank stare. She has a feeling that she's not going to get an answer, so she maneuvers to the garage's thermostat and cranks it up. There's no way of telling if he's actually cold, or if he can even _get_ cold, but she figures the warmth may help keep him comfortable in any case.

Once Ellie does that, she glances back to the Autobot to see him actively watching her. It's impossible to tell what he's feeling or thinking but she can see that he's concentrating quite hard on her, as if he's never truly seen her until now. Seeing that she's apparently gotten his full attention for the first time she takes a few steps closer and asks curiously, "What's your name?"

The Autobot says nothing. Ellie gives up trying to ask him anything and decides to explain a few things, "Listen... I'm not sure how long you're going to be here or how long I can afford to keep you, but there's some things I need to lay out for you."

She pauses upon seeing him shift. He's still staring at her so she continues, "My name is Ellie. Ellie Bowens. I have two kids, Madison and Charlie. Madison is twelve years old, Charlie is eight. He's deaf, meaning he can't hear. He was born that way. They are my priority, okay? Their safety comes first before anything else, so even though I chose to take you in, if I have to choose between their lives and yours, I will not hesitate to choose them over you. I'm sorry, that's just how it is."

The Autobot shifts again, but other than that he does and says nothing else. Ellie doesn't think most of that got through to him but she doesn't have the energy to repeat herself. She leans against a nearby box and says softly, "Still, I'm willing to help you. I'll keep you hidden, let you rest and recover. All I ask is that you don't destroy anything, or become a threat to my kids. I'll... check on you later. If there's something you need just let me know, I guess."

She makes it to the garage entrance when she hears the Autobot speak. It's so abrupt that she jumps and doesn't exactly hear what it is he says. Whipping around Ellie furrows her brows and asks, "Uh, sorry. What was that?"

"Fuel," he says with that gravelly voice that she has very rarely heard, "Need... fuel."

"Fuel," she repeats, not entirely sure what he means by that, "Fuel like... gasoline? Is that what you need, gasoline?"

The Autobot gazes at her for a moment. Then slowly, he nods.

"Gas. You need gas," Ellie says. She hesitates for a hair of a minute and then nods to herself, "Right, okay. I'll... see what I can do. Um, I'll be back."

Without meeting his eyes Ellie presses the garage's door button and exits. Once the door slides shut she sighs, pushing back her hair with her hands and holding her hands behind her head, "God, what am I doing..."

Deciding not to ponder on the situation too much Ellie heads back to the house, the Autobot now safely hidden away.

"Mom, you might want to look at this!" Maddie calls from the living room. Ellie has been cutting up carrots for the beef stew and looks up to address her daughter, "What is it?"

Maddie pokes her head around the corner, "The news. They're talking about the Autobots."

The news have been talking about the Autobots the whole weekend, she muses, but she decides to join the kids in the living room anyways. She expects something attune to what she's heard already. Instead however, the headline is something that piques her interest right away.

_"...Less than twenty-four hours ago, thousands of files from N.E.S.T.'s database have been leaked into the open internet. As of right now, we have no sources to tell us whether or not this was a deliberate move from the government. These files have been determined to pertain to everything regarding the shut down organization, including but not limited to missions, soldier enlistments, technological innovations, foreign contracts, even reformations made after the major battles of Mission City, Egypt and Chicago. Various users have been reported to have decrypted a set of specialized N.E.S.T. profiles. Profiles that, as it would seem, hold detailed in-depth information and descriptions of every registered Autobot to have served in the branch..."_

Ellie tunes out the rest of what the news reporter says. Almost immediately she decides there's some things she needs to look up online later and grabs the remote, "Alright, that's enough news for today."

After dinner Ellie steers her kids upstairs for bed. They have school tomorrow, and the thought of that almost makes it feel like everything is normal. She can almost forget that she's hiding a half-dead Autobot in her garage. Once she ensures that her children are sleeping Ellie returns to the living room and opens her laptop with a goal to find out which Autobot she has.

It isn't hard at all to find a lot of N.E.S.T.'s leaked files. Ellie finds herself scrolling through what feels like endless information on the organization. A lot of it is complex and filled with complicated military code that she doesn't understand, but she also finds countless profiles of every single enlisted N.E.S.T. soldier as well as any associates. It's a little unnerving to look at them, feeling as though she's invading their privacy, so she quickly abandons those in favor of tracking down those special profiles with the Autobots.

It takes a fair amount of digging through potentially sketchy websites but finally Ellie finds what she's looking for. She takes her time searching though the decrypted Autobot profiles, trying to find one that looks like the one in her garage. Going through profile after profile Ellie finds herself deeply intrigued by the diversity of the Autobots. Some are small, others massive, some slimmer and some quite burly looking. All of them have different shapes, sizes, colors, specialties, and undoubtedly posses a wide range of different personalities.

At some point she comes across a particular profile that details an Autobot that makes her laugh a little. He's described as grumpy and cantankerous and apparently has a tendency to throw wrenches.

Another one is a bright red Autobot that can turn invisible.

She finds a female Autobot that's noted to be "every bit as feisty and trigger happy as her mate".

An Autobot that can manipulate electricity.

An Autobot disguised as a police car.

A rather cute yellow Autobot with big blue eyes.

Finally Ellie comes across a red and blue Autobot and halts. Upon further inspection she quickly sees that this still is not her Autobot. She's pretty sure he wouldn't be able to fit in the garage if he's thirty-five feet tall with a semi as his vehicular mode. She doesn't remember seeing smokestacks or extra tires. In some odd sense Ellie is glad it isn't Optimus Prime she's harboring. It would be practically impossible to hide the leader of the Autobots, who is listed as one of the most wanted. She's seen him and William Lennox make public speeches in the past as two iconic N.E.S.T. figures of leadership and vaguely remembers the baritone of his voice. A voice that definitely does not match the Autobot she has.

"Come on," she murmurs as she clicks out of Optimus's profile, "Which one are you..."

She spends a few more minutes flying through the profiles, looking at names as she does. Jazz. Topspin. Arcee. Smokescreen. Red Alert. Wheeljack. Sideswipe. Sunsteaker. _Such odd names..._

At long last Ellie finds another Autobot with blue and red armor. Twenty-eight feet tall, with a relatively slim but strong build and a war-hardened face. A face that greatly resembles the one in her garage, only there's little to no emotion left in him now. The profiles include intricate measurements and full-body images of the Autobots and this one is no exception. There's no denying this is her Autobot, but it's disturbing looking at him before DC. He's been so badly damaged that his colors are the only thing that tells her this is him. Her eyes immediately fly to his name.

"Crosshairs," she says out loud, "Your name is Crosshairs..."

Not the oddest name she's seen. As she takes her time reading his profile she begins to see that it's a rather fitting name. According to all of this information Crosshairs is, or was, a renowned sharpshooter. Responsible for taking the killing shot on multiple Decepticons on missions and very keen on his weaponry. His accuracy and skill on long range shooting has apparently earned him a title of the leading figure for N.E.S.T.'s sniper unit.

Ellie pauses and blinks to wrap her head around her discovery. Crosshairs, a deadly sharpshooter, the Autobot's Chris Kyle, possessing a number of Decepticon kills, has somehow dropped himself into her property and into her life. And he has thrown up in her yard and is now resting in her garage, burned and in pain and irrevocably traumatized.

Does that make him dangerous? Ellie isn't sure. Aside from their first interaction just a few days ago Crosshairs has done nothing to be a threat. But Ellie has seen enough movies and read enough books to know how soldiers like him who have gone through similar things he has can be very unstable. If he ends up snapping at any time, Ellie would be powerless against him.

But she's already taken him in. The only way she's going to be able to get rid of him is to turn him in, but that's not something she has the heart nor the current will to do. Maybe, he'll only need a few more days to recover and then he'll go away. That's what Ellie wants to hope for, but deep down she knows that Crosshairs is far too gone and is going to take a long time to come back. She's just going to have to tread carefully while having him around and ensure her kids are safe at all times.

Who's she kidding? She put her kids in danger the moment she chose not to call.

While seriously reconsidering her decision, phone in hand, Ellie closes her laptop and bites her lip. She stares at her home screen for a few moments and then sets it down on the table, shaking her head._ I can't. If I call, they'll kill him. He doesn't deserve to die._

She wanders to the back door after getting herself ready for bed, staring at the garage. She hadn't been sure if leaving Crosshairs in the dark was a good idea, so she'd left the lights on in their dimmest setting. There's no windows except for the small one on the garage door, so she can't see the Autobot inside. Briefly she wonders what he's doing in there -is he sleeping? Do Cybertronians sleep? Or is he in the same exact place staring distantly as he's always been doing, lost in his own mind?

Ellie turns away. She heads upstairs, shotgun in hand, praying that she won't have to use it anytime soon.

* * *

**I hope everyone has a good Monday. I know it's not a favorite day of the week, so here's another chapter. I hope it was good. :)**

**Feedback is always appreciated and loved. See you next week!**


	3. Chapter 3

Morning feels oddly routine when Ellie gets up and wakes her kids to get ready for school. Neither of them ask about their unexpected new guest but Ellie suspects it's because they are not fully awake yet. She helps Charlie get dressed and gets his school stuff together when Maddie appears in the doorway and finally asks, "How is he?"

Assuming she's referring to the Autobot Ellie frowns, "I don't know, honey, I haven't checked on him yet."

"Can I?"

"No," she says right away. Maddie frowns too so Ellie goes on, "I told you I don't want you or Charlie near him right now, Maddie. He's... really unstable. That makes him dangerous and I don't want to risk either of you getting hurt, okay?"

Maddie nods and slips into the bathroom without another word. Once Charlie is set Ellie brings him downstairs for breakfast, Maddie joining them a few minutes later, her backpack over her shoulder. Last night's deep researching on a particular Autobot means that Ellie had gone to bed much later than usual, which in turn caused her to sleep in a bit. Maddie's middle school starts in twenty five minutes, so pop tarts are going to have to do today. As they wolf down the sugary food Ellie leans over the island, signing while she speaks.

"Can you guys do something for me?" She glances briefly at the back door before continuing, "You guys know that we have an Autobot. You also know that we're not supposed to have one."

"Don't say anything," Maddie chirps with a mouthful of strawberry poptart. She swallows and nods, "I know, Mom. I won't say a thing."

Ellie turns to her son, who's gnawing down on his blueberry breakfast, "Charlie? You can't say anything about the Autobot, okay? You know why?"

Charlie looks up at her and nods vigorously, dropping his pop tart he can sign, 'It's i...l...l...e...'

She's surprised that Charlie is trying to fingerspell out the word 'illegal'. It's a big word for a little boy and she's not sure where he could have picked it up. She waits until Charlie makes a face and stops trying to spell the word before she nods.

"I-l-l-e-g-a-l," Ellie finishes the word for him with a small smile, "You're right, Charlie, it is illegal. Do you know what that means?"

'We get in big trouble,' Charlie signs.

"Right. And you should never ever do anything illegal. That's very bad to do. But this is special, because..." Ellie pauses there, "because..."

"Because it's not supposed to be illegal," Maddie finishes, meeting her mother's eyes. She taps her brother so he looks at her and she signs steadily, "Illegal stuff is bad stuff. But we're not doing anything bad. We're doing good, right Mom?"

Impressed at how easily her daughter is able to explain the situation Ellie nods, "Yes. But not everyone thinks it's good, so that's why you can't tell anyone, okay Charlie?"

Charlie looks up at her and beams, 'Okay. No tell.'

* * *

After Ellie drives her kids to school she decides on stopping by the gas station. She remembers Crosshairs's request for gasoline and brings along two big empty gas cans from the house garage. She's not sure what he plans to do with it but she hopes two cans of it is enough, one reason being that he's one very big Cybertronian and the other being that it's really expensive.

Unfortunately Ellie had not thought this through completely and as she fills up the second can she quickly realizes that it's going to take a lot of strength to carry these into her trunk. She decides to attempt one at a time but even then she only makes it to the back of her car before having to set it down. How in the world is she going to be able to lift these up into her trunk, let alone carry them to the separate garage?

"Excuse me," a voice says behind her "Would you like some help?"

Ellie turns around to see a man staring at her on the other side of the gas pump. He looks relatively young and is a little on the small side, barely a few inches taller than her and lean in body shape. Not skinny, but not muscular either. His handsome Asian features are contorted with worry and curiosity but Ellie can spot a hint of amusement in his eyes and tone. She laughs, vaguely embarrassed, "Yes please, if you don't mind. They're a bit too heavy for me."

He has the barest hint of a smirk as he comes over without a word. With seemingly no effort he picks up the gas can and places it into her trunk. Ellie watches, a bit amazed as he lifts the second can and deposits it as if it doesn't weigh much at all. She places her hands on her hips and chuckles, "Wow, you're pretty strong."

"Were you assuming I was weak?" the man asks with a raised brow.

"Oh, no! Not at all, just..." Ellie loosely gestures at the cans, "Full gas cans aren't really easy for anyone to lift up, you know?"

He nods slowly, the tiny smirk still pulling at his lips, and then he remarks, "Well, not many people fill up two full cans of gas. That is a lot."

"Oh, I just like to stock up this time of the year," Ellie says while mustering the most convincing smile she can, "With the cold season coming and all."

"Ah, I see," the man nods again. His eyes -which are a rather stunning and uncanny shade of blue- flicker towards her gas cans just briefly before he smiles at her, "Well, I am happy to have helped."

"Yes, thank you..." Ellie trails off, prompting for a name.

"Dre," he says, accepting her hand when she reaches out and shakes it, "I'm Dre."

"Ellie," she replied, smiling politely, "Nice to meet you, Dre. And thank you again."

He nods and steadily treads backwards to his own car, "It was no problem, Miss Ellie. Now, if you would excuse me, I must... head out of DC. Have a lovely day."

"You, too," she offered him one last smile, which he returns, before they go their separate ways. Ellie gives the full gas cans a long stare before she takes a deep breath and closes her trunk. She'll figure it out when she gets home. In the corner of her eye she sees Dre's vehicle roll out. It's a white Nissan GTR.

Ellie waves as he leaves and muses quietly to herself as she climbs into her own car, "Hm. Nice guy."

* * *

Recharge doesn't come to him easily, if at all. What memories he's lost during the attack gradually come back in static laced images and audio. His processors ache with a never ending pain as they work to repair his mind. He can very faintly remember what had happened in DC. He sees familiar faces, human and Autobot. Some memories are less corrupted than others and are more clear as they come back.

_There's a smile gracing the face plates of a young Autobot beside him. He pauses, taking his optic off of the scope of his firearm, "Fraggin' -stop staring, will you? It's distracting."_

_The gray Autobot just grins wider, "Sorry. I just like watching you shoot."_

_The younger mech raises his own sniper, a customized weapon marked with signature streaks of blue. He takes aim only to be stopped by a hand reaching out and adjusting him._

_"Shoulders back. Straighten your struts. Doorwings firm. Shoot like that n' your barrel ain't gonna be straight," he pushes and nudges his more inexperienced companion until he's in proper position._

_The gray Autobot glances at him sheepishly, "Sorry. I'm, uh, still learning."_

_"You'll get there, kiddo."_

_"You think?"_

_He smiles faintly, "I know."_

He's ripped from the damaged space of his mind when he hears a door open. War-born instinct tears it's way to the forefront of his control and he's got a gun trained onto his potential assailant before they step through. Except the assailant is a vaguely familiar face who's eyes widen tenfold as she sees the heated end of his barrel.

"Whoa, hey! It's just me! Just me!" She drops whatever she was formerly struggling to haul in with her in favor of shooting her hands up in surrender. He stares at the human woman for a long moment. She's told him her name but it takes a bit for his ever-lagging processors to recall that information. Upon seeing that she isn't a threat he steadily lowers his loaded gun and continues to stare until he can finally pinpoint her designation.

"...Ellie."

She looks astonished, most likely because he spoke. He hasn't done much of that lately. He's never felt the need to until he can piece himself back together. But saying her name out loud, he finds, is somehow comforting. It's a verbal confirmation that she's here, that he's safe, and that he really is one of the few to walk away from DC alive. Barely, but alive. On that thought he runs a short diagnostic to check on his condition. It's not much better and his low fuel levels don't help.

"Yes, that's me," she says. Once he slowly sets his weapon down she releases a relieved breath and then picks up the full gas can she was holding before. With a wobbly gait that he finds almost amusing she hauls it over until it's within his reach. She huffs, "Ugh, well, here you go, big guy. I got your gas for you. No idea what you need it for, but-"

Whatever else she says is muted to him as soon as he reaches for the can. He wrenches the top off with a sharp twist and eagerly brings it to his mouth with the famine of a starved animal. Generic gasoline -not nearly as efficient as the fuels they'd developed in N.E.S.T. for the Autobots in the absence of energon, but it's going to have to do. It's taste is almost vile enough to upset his already sensitive tank but he forces it all down for the sake of increasing his fuel levels. His self-repair isn't going to function properly, or at all, otherwise. Faintly he hears the disgusted sputtering of the human female nearby.

"Oh -Jesus! That is just..." she turns away and waves her hands, "You could have warned me before doing that! Gross..."

Once he consumes the gasoline he slouches, grimacing as his tank lurches. When it feels as though it's mostly settled down he groans slowly and then addresses the woman with a heavy glossa and voice, "You... got any more?"

She nods while still looking mildly disturbed by his unconventional use of the gas. But she slips out right away and drags in a second full can without a protesting word. Again she brings it over and again he twists it open and brings the can to his lip plates, taking the fuel down slower this time.

"I really hope you don't require this, like, every day," she remarks, "Gas is expensive, you know."

He decides not to reply to that and instead vents in deeply. It hurts, making him wince slightly. His fuel levels have reached about 67%, not enough to feel comfortably full but enough to initiate his self-repair nanites. The gasoline leaves a repugnant aftertaste on his glossa. He feels like he's going to purge again.

"...Crosshairs."

* * *

His head snaps down to her so quickly that it seems to make him dizzy. Ellie swallows the nervous lump in her throat and asks gently, "That's your name, right? Crosshairs?"

She can see his armor clench as he tenses. It's an intriguing defense mechanism.

"How do you know that?" He rumbles lowly.

Ellie isn't sure if she should answer, but seeing that she has no real way to lie about it she says honestly, "N.E.S.T.'s files got leaked into the internet. I... did some investigating. Looked through the Autobot profiles. Found yours."

"Leaked...?"

"Uh, yeah. Look, don't ask me how it happened, they're just out there. Some say the government did it," she shrugs, "I... read a little about how you guys function. Apparently you can tap into the internet so if you want to see for yourself, you can."

He pauses for a long moment, leaving Ellie to believe that he just might be tuning into the world wide web in this moment. His eyes grow slightly dim, but then he flinches and groans, his large hands reaching up to what she can assume are his temples. He stays like that for and few minutes before mumbling in a strained voice, "Hurts."

"Hurts?" Ellie repeats, a little confused.

Crosshairs shakes his head and grits his... metal teeth. Ellie's not sure what to call them. He leans back, "Can't... processor's fragged. Hurts to use it."

"...Don't, then," she offers, unsure how to go about giving a damaged Autobot moral support but still willing to try, "You shouldn't strain yourself. I'm sure that's just as bad for you guys as it is for humans. Just... try to relax, maybe?"

He drops his hands and she watches him, surprisingly, take in a deep breath. He doesn't exhale, the air blows out from some other vents in his body. It looks as though he's really trying hard to do what Ellie had advised, only it's not working as great as he was hoping. Rather, it looks like he's one step away from another mental breakdown. She can see the faint tremors just slightly wracking his armor.

"I know this is a really stupid question, but, are you okay?"

"...No," Crosshairs curls into himself a little more and half-whimpers, "No."

Ellie decides to go another route. She bites her lip and then asks carefully, "Did the gasoline, uh, help?"

That seems to get a better response. Crosshairs eases up a little and slowly nods, mumbling, "Raised my fuel levels a bit. I'll start healing now."

"Healing?" Ellie blurts without thinking, "You can heal?"

He looks at her like she's just asked the single most ridiculous question in the world, causing Ellie to wince at her own words, "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean offense. It's just... surprising to know that you can heal."

Crosshairs's tone grows bitter, "Yeah, well, contrary to what you fraggin' humans like to believe, we ain't just a bunch of machinery."

He spits the word like it's a curse. Ellie can see the pain of betrayal on his face and her heart continues to sink, "If I thought you were just a machine, I would have turned you in by now."

He looks at her then, his glowing blue eyes shining with apprehension, "Why didn't you?"

Ellie stares, taking the time to piece together her answer before speaking. She asks, "Do you think, Crosshairs?"

"What?"

"Do you think?" She prompts, "Is that something you're capable of?"

He looks more than a little put off by Ellie's question. Despite the fact that he's not catching on, he still nods hesitantly.

Ellie steps closer to him, "Do you feel?"

Crosshairs tilts his head, but nods again. Ellie smiles sadly, "Then you're alive. You're a living being, just like me. It doesn't matter if you're made of metal if you have sentience and you can feel pain. Some inferior race shouldn't decide if you get to live or die. That's how I see it."

He looks away and remains silent. He shifts as if he's not quite sure how to comprehend her answer. Eventually he shakes his head, "They're saying it's our fault, ain't they?"

"Yes," she says quietly, "They're... saying that the Autobots attacked first. That they retaliated against the CIA when they tried to shut N.E.S.T. down."

His face falls into his hands, "'S not true. We didn't attack. We didn't."

Ellie nods, "I believe you."

Crosshairs looks at her and there's an expression on his face that she can't pinpoint. After a moment Ellie breaks eye contact and clears her throat awkwardly. Curiosity eventually gets to her and she asks tentatively, "Do... do you remember what happened? At DC?"

"...No," he shakes his head, winces again, and his eyes land on the floor with a frustrated huff, "I see... flashes, sometimes. Bits n' pieces of what happened. Fraggin' explosions... damaged everything. I try to remember, but..."

"Short term memory loss. Yeah, I can see that. Again, don't strain yourself over it," Ellie says, trying to be as comforting as possible, "I'm sure it'll all come back to you eventually."

They meet eyes again one last time before a shrill ring shatters the short silence. It makes both of them jump and Crosshairs is instantly gripping at a weapon when Ellie waves her hand frantically while pulling out the source of the noise, "Hey, it's okay, it's just my phone!"

She internally chastises herself for thinking that bringing her phone was was a good idea, but luckily Crosshairs seems to trust her word enough to relax his grasp on his gun. He still, however, glares at her cell phone like it's a grenade ready to detonate. Ellie checks the number, curses to herself and then throws the Autobot an apologetic glance before backing out of the garage, "Sorry. I've, uh, got to take this. I won't say anything, I promise. Be right back!"

With that she quickly slips out of the garage and answers her phone, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves before putting on a smile and addressing her caller, "Hey, Jenny."

_"Hey, girlie,"_ her sister's voice is as friendly and energetic as Ellie remembers, _"How are things over yonder?"_

"Oh... great," Ellie replies, "Kids are doing good in school, job is going well. Although... the restaurant I work at is closed for now since it's so close to the whole DC incident..."

The lack of work is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing, since the time off allows for her to get her head around how to deal with Crosshairs's unexpected appearence into her around her kids' lives. A curse, since the lack of income might be a problem down the road, especially if Crosshairs happens to require more super expensive gas runs. Her decent monthly checks from her ex-husband will only help so far when there's an Autobot fugitive to account for.

_"That's kind of why I wanted to call you, actually,"_ Her sister says, causing Ellie to stop walking towards the house,_ "With all that's going on, I can't help but feel you and the kids could be in danger over there. You know, with all the Autobot and CIA shenanigans going on."_

"Oh, pfft. We're fine, Jen, I promise," Ellie says, "We're far enough away that it's not like any of that is going to be dragged here. I live in the middle of the freakin' woods, remember?"

_"Yeah, I guess. I just worry about you, El,"_ Jenny huffs a short laugh_, "Heck, can you imagine if one of those big guys ended up at your house? Talk about terrifying, am I right?"_

"Yeah..." Ellie forces out a laugh while simultaneously trying her best not to panic inside. Her eyes glance back at the garage that just so happens to hold within it exactly what her sister just described, "That would be... an interesting experience."

A short silence ensues, until she hears Jenny sigh through the call and say, _"I wish you'd come here, Ellie. You know Alex and I will take you and the kids in a heartbeat. We have plenty of room and I promise Nevada isn't as bad as people say it is-"_

"I can't, Jenny," Ellie shakes her head, "I've been planning on taking the kids and moving there, but..."

_"But what? What's wrong?"_

She finds herself once again looking back at the garage, "...Nothing, Jen, it's just... things changed. There's something I have to take care of first."

_"You worry me, Ellie."_

"You always worry about me."

_"Just... please tell me this 'something' isn't anything that's super serious and could get you in trouble."_

_Oh trust me, this'll land me in federal prison_, she wants to say. Instead, she goes with, "No guarantees."

_"I swear to God, El, I'll buy a ticket and fly across this country so damn fast-"_

Ellie interrupts, "Hey, just trust me, okay? I know what I'm doing."

_No, Ellie, you have absolutely no idea what you're getting yourself into_, her mind whispers. She promptly decides to ignore it. Jenny huffs at the other end, _"I hope so. This isn't about that dickwad Thomas, is it? That sack of shit better not be causing you problems-"_

"No, Jenny, I promise it has nothing to do with him," she quickly reassures, before her very protective older sister decides to go through on her previous threat, "It's... something I can't really talk about right now. Not until I... get it straightened out. Just trust me. Can you do that for me?"

_"I'll always trust you, Ellie. I just hope you're making the right decisions."_

"I am," she says, more as a confirmation for herself rather than her sister, "I am."

_"...Alright. Well, I just wanted to check in on you, make sure my little sister is still alive,"_ Jenny chuckles, _"Alex just got off work and the hubby's going to be hungry when he gets home. It's either spaghetti or lasagna, I haven't decided yet."_

Ellie laughs, "You should probably start dinner, then."

_"Yeah. Hey, tell the kiddos I said hi, okay? And give them a squeeze for me. They're getting so big."_

"I definitely will," Ellie says with a small smile. Once she and her sister say goodbye and end the call Ellie takes a deep breath to steady herself. She half humorously wonders who's going to kill her first; the government or her sister? Hopefully she won't have to determine the answer to that question.

* * *

**Hmm, I wonder who that could have been. Posting this chapter early since I'll be super busy Monday and I don't want to forget to post.**

**Reviews are always appreciated and loved!**


	4. Chapter 4

An odd but steady routine has been established since Crosshairs dropped into Ellie's property. Within the week she's made a habit of checking in on him a few times a day, once in the morning and a handful of times while the kids are at school. Naturally, neither of them are allowed to be near Crosshairs without her being there. She's positive that he isn't going to intentionally harm her children but Ellie would rather be safe than sorry. The few times she brings the kids in the garage with her, they generally stay quiet and observe. Maddie keeps her distance, mostly likely since Crosshairs's sheer size is intimidating in and of itself, but she's undoubtedly enthralled by the sight of an Autobot. Charlie is almost always gaping at him, the little boy always eager to get close but always warned away by his mother.

Crosshairs doesn't seem to be getting much better mentally. She still finds him staring at nothing and sometimes even mumbling in what she can only assume is his native language. There's some days he speaks, but when he does they are short sentences or single words. Other days he's closed off from the real world, still very much haunted by the attack in DC and ever troubled by what he still has trouble remembering. Ellie more often than not is talking by herself, but idle conversation she doesn't mind since she knows he's listening. Maybe it calms him.

Physically, though, he's looking better each day. He's wheezing a lot less, which Ellie would assume means the toxicities of the explosions have finally been filtered out of his ventilation. The scorch marks on his armor are steadily peeling away as his plating recalibrates itself, leaving behind dull gray patches where his paint has been burned off. Ellie's wondered a few times if that's something he'll want taken care of eventually but Crosshairs either hasn't taken notice of his appearance or isn't in the mindset to care.

Ellie enters the garage on a quiet weekend morning to something she's never seen before. She stops, surprised when she doesn't see Crosshairs sitting against the back of the garage. Instead, in his place is a very... desolate looking car. She isn't sure what to do right away so she stands there a little dumbly for a few minutes before saying, "Oh... good... morning?"

The car doesn't do anything. It's Crosshairs for sure, judging by the red and blue color scheme that's more or less grayed out in various areas. For a moment Ellie is genuinely fascinated that all twenty-eight feet and several tons of Autobot can fold down into a relatively small vehicle. Corvette, it looks like. She supposes this is where the informal term 'Transformers' comes from.

Snapping out of her initial surprise Ellie is tempted to just leave until she notices the collective ash that's gathered around the corners of the garage as a result of Crosshairs's armor healing over the burns. With her cleanliness getting the better of her, Ellie snatches the nearby broom and pan and decides to do a little tidying, if only so that Crosshairs doesn't have to sit in the remnants of what he's gone through.

She's sweeping the pile of ash and shrapnel to one side of the garage when a voice behind her speaks and startles her so hard that she squeals and drops the broom.

"Need help?"

"Oh my God!" Her hand flies to her rapid heart. She whips around to find herself face to face with a man she's never seen in her life. Immediately she's backing away, her eyes wide and cautious, "Who the _hell_ are you?!"

The man stares at her. He looks like he's unsure of how to respond to her reaction and hesitates. Then he says calmly, "It's me."

"What?"

"It's me, Ellie," the man nods his head towards the Corvette and then turns back to her, "Crosshairs..."

It takes Ellie a full awkward minute to wrap her head around what he's just said. She looks at him, at the car, and back at him. She blinks, "You're... him?"

The man nods. Ellie places a hand on her forehead and turns away, "Jesus... but how... when did you... why are you..."

He brings a hand up, urging her to fall silent before she tries to say five things at once. He steps closer, not enough to breach her space but enough for her to look at little details. With a glance back at the Corvette he begins quietly, "That's me. But this is also me, just... projected into a human figure."

"Projected," Ellie furrows her brows, "So this is like some sort of... hologram of you as a human being...?"

He nods, bringing a hand up and looking at it as if it's something he's never seen before, "Somethin' like that, yeah. 'S called a holoform. Kinda like a hologram, just solid. Never actually used it before, till now..."

He fiddles with his fingers, setting the image of a man who truly doesn't know what to do with himself. Ellie can tell it's Crosshairs now that she's calmed down some. His voice is familiar with the Australian twang, the only difference being the absence of the subtle robotic undertones. He's every bit as tall in human form as he is in his true form -six feet and some inches, plenty high enough to tower over her still. A few strands of light, chestnut brown hair fall over his creased forehead and there's stubble along his jaw. Not quite enough for a full beard. He's definitely built for military, all broad shoulders and torso that narrow down to a thin, fit waist. His eyes, she realizes, are a stunning blue that somehow strike her as vaguely familiar.

And, dare she say it, he's more than a little appealing to the eye. But that's an observation quickly placed in the back of her mind. She's more concerned about the fact that he's standing before her looking more and more like a big lost puppy. Clearing her throat Ellie decides not to ponder on this 'holoform' thing and properly addresses him, "Right, well, um... what was it you were asking me?"

Crosshairs loosely gestures at her fallen broom, "Asked if you wanted help... with that..."

"Oh," Ellie's not sure whether to feel touched by the offer or just surprised, but she shakes her head, "No, it's okay. I can do it-"

He's already picking up the broom and swiping up the stray debris into the pile. He grips it awkwardly at first, clearly having never held a broom before, but he manages to find what works for him and does the chore easily enough. His brows are furrowed in deep concentration as if this is a much more complex task.

Ellie protests, "Really, you don't have to..."

"Let me. Please," he pushes her back when she tries to take the broom. His eyes are earnest and he shakes his head, "I need somethin' to do, else I'm gonna lose my fraggin' mind."

Ellie catches on right away. He's been cooped up in her garage for a week now, with nothing to do but to sit and practically drown in his own confusing thoughts. She can imagine how that is slowly but surely eating at him from the inside out. She nods, backing away, "Okay. But let me help you at least."

Without another word Ellie bounds to the other side of the garage and grabs another broom and pulls out a trash bag. She waits until Crosshairs finishes sweeping up their side of the garage and then spreads the bag open, "Here, sweep all that stuff up on the dustpan there and pour it in here."

She points and directs him on how to do that. It's confusing for him at first but he catches on eventually, using the dustpan to pour the ash and small pieces of shrapnel into the bag. Ellie watches with a tilted head, "Can't believe all of this came off you."

Crosshairs looks up and frowns, "...Sorry."

"It's okay, it isn't your fault," she replies with a soft voice, "Thank you for helping."

He just nods wordlessly and dumps the last of the debris into the bag. Ellie leads him to the other side of the garage, glancing briefly at his true form sitting idly in the center. She still has a lot of questions but decides now is not the time for them. Setting the bag down she uses her own broom and together they sweep it all up into another pile relatively quickly. She smiles a little when the thought crosses her mind that she's sweeping the garage with an Autobot. Of all the bizarre things she'd expected to be doing, this certainly wasn't one of them.

Crosshairs again dumps the pile into the trash bag that Ellie holds open. It's such a miniscule task but she can see that it's putting Crosshairs at ease. Having something to do seems to make him more relaxed, even a little more talkative and Ellie suddenly feels rather awful for having kept him in the garage for so long. Perhaps having a task at hand keeps his mind occupied. While she mulls over this Crosshairs promptly takes the bag, ties it, and stands there patiently. It takes her a short moment to realize he's waiting for her.

"Uh, right out here," she murmurs, exiting the garage. She meanders across the backyard, Crosshairs in tow. She approaches the green trash can sitting against the side of the house and opens it for him to drop the bag inside. Ellie sighs contently now that that's done and meets eyes with Crosshairs. The Autobot, however, doesn't seem to be looking at her and Ellie can see that he's frowning.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

He shakes his head and looks down, "I don't know what to do."

Ellie rounds the trash can and, after a moment's hesitation, gently reaches out and touches his shoulder. She's surprised to feel how solid it is, like she's really touching another human. It's off-putting but she ignores it in favor of getting his attention. His blue eyes meet hers again and he mumbles, "Everything's gone. Everyone's gone and it's just... me."

Ellie bites her lip, "Do you... remember anyone else getting out?"

Crosshairs shakes his head. His eyes flicker over to her hand still touching his shoulder, an odd expression twisting his face. Unsure of what that could mean Ellie pulls her hand away. He doesn't like being touched, probably. She clears her throat, an idea popping into her mind. A potentially bad idea, but an idea.

"Would... would you like to come inside?"

* * *

Crosshairs isn't sure what exactly compels him to nod his head. Simple curiosity? Politeness? Confusion? Maybe it's a little bit of all of that. He trails behind the much smaller human female as she treads into her home. It's utterly bizarre, taking a human form. It's a piece of software that N.E.S.T. had required all Autobots to possess but Crosshairs had never felt compelled to use his holoform and try to be human. Now, though, he finds himself wondering why he'd never tried.

There's a strange fascination to being so small. The world around him suddenly doesn't feel tiny and he feels like he actually fits on the planet. The moment Ellie had led him outside, he'd taken a short moment to look and the trees that now towered over him and the environment which now had a completely different perspective. The out-of-body experience that comes with the holoform is something that's going to take some getting used to.

His eyes land on Ellie's small frame as she leads him into the house. The human woman is a bit of a mystery to him. There's a lot he doesn't understand about her, like why she's been so adamant about taking care of him, or why she lives out here, or why her offsprings' male creator is seemingly missing. Seeing her up close, Crosshairs can't help but to take in the little details he's failed to notice in his true form.

Little things like the way she shifts between each hip during conversation, like she's anxious. Her movements are skittish, letting it be known that as willing as she is to help him, there's still some underlying fear. He's taken notice of the light bounce of her blonde hair, tied up in a tight ponytail, and the soft, pale complexion of her skin. Her eyes are a sky blue, gentle and light and currently a little wide since he's been unknowingly staring.

He blinks and quickly looks away, half mumbling an apology.

"We've got to work on your staring, mister," she says with the smallest hint of a smile. Crosshairs doesn't find the comment humorous and she notices it so she clears her throat and gestures around her, "Anyways, um, this is my home. The kids are in school right now, so you don't have to worry about being bothered by them. You mentioned that you needed something to do, so... I figured I could help you find something that'll keep you little occupied. Here, this way."

She beckons him into the living room. It's homey, with a warm fireplace and a lush couch and a coffee table. Crosshairs takes a moment to look around, relatively interested given that he's never actually been in a human household before. It's always been one N.E.S.T. operated base after another the moment he'd landed. His eyes return to Ellie when she picks up the television remote, showing it to him.

"If you want you can watch some television... if you guys ever do that sort of thing. I also have a lot of books," she puts the remote down and points at the nearby bookshelf, "I know reading probably isn't your thing, but they're there in case you want to try picking one up. Who knows, maybe it'll help you relax."

Crosshairs somehow doubts that reading is going to help him but he nods and glances at the bookshelf. He supposes she's forgotten that he can tap into the internet and quite literally download any book or piece of literature in a matter of seconds. His eyes wander past the bookshelf and examine what's around him.

Ellie takes a deep breath and half-smiles, "Well, uh, feel free to wander around, too. Just... don't break anything, please. I'm going to take a shower so holler if you need anything."

With that she slips upstairs, leaving Crosshairs on his own. He frowns upon watching her go, knowing that the woman is very nervous around him. And yet, she's invited him into her home and offered to let him roam around on his own. He's not sure whether to consider her foolish or generous. He shakes his head dismissively, knowing his tactical thinking is beginning to take over. No, it's not strategic but it's not like Ellie letting him in is a bad move on a battlefield.

Crosshairs takes a few minutes to wander aimlessly around. Ellie's home isn't anything special but his lack of human interaction all but spurs on his mild curiosity of how they function. He eyes the pictures hung up in the hallway and recognizes the small, smiling faces of Ellie's children. Many of them are pictures of the two of them when they were significantly younger and others look a little more recent.

He takes his time mapping out every room in the house, but when that doesn't seem to ease his mind he busies himself with looking at the books Ellie had previously pointed out. With quick search - ups of the titles he comes to the conclusion that Ellie apparently has a taste for suspenseful dramas. Not really his own forte.

A noise upstairs mildly startles him and he freezes with a book in hand. After a moment he realizes it's her shower and huffs, placing the book back. His eyes land on the TV remote and after a short moment of thought he grabs it and turns the television on. As soon as he does though, a deep frown sets on his face as he watches the news broadcast.

_"...We're here with Harold Attinger, a CIA operative who is willing to speak upon the recent destruction in Washington DC. On to you, sir."_

_"Yes, hello. At approximately 6:30 am on November 11th, a unit of agents approached N.E.S.T. headquarters that faithful night to initiate a lockdown in response to the Battle of Chicago just last year. The CIA unit was met with hostile force from the Autobots, in which case they had to act accordingly to defend themselves as well as the nation. Upon establishing contact with the American Air Force, we had ordered five missiles to strike the base when it had become evident that the Autobots were no longer our allies. We have since addressed the president, as well as the Senate, in order to determine our next course of action regarding this unprecedented event."_

_"And Mr. Attinger, it's no secret that in destroying N.E.S.T.'s headquarters, hundreds of human lives were lost. Can you explain the thought process on the sacrifice of so many lives in response to the Autobots' resilience?"_

_"We were well aware that the base was occupied by soldiers and the like. Let it be known that our unit had offered numerous warnings to ensure the humans involved in this conflict had the opportunity to leave. As it would seem, countless N.E.S.T. soldiers had chosen to stay."_

_"Stay as in, stay with the Autobots?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Mr. Attinger, why would it be that so many of those soldiers had decided to stand with the Autobots? Especially considering statements that say that the Autobots were hostile?"_

_"That __I__ am afraid __I__ have no answer for. However, the situation has made __one__ thing vividly clear; the Autobots, and __those__ who still stand by them, are a __threat__ to our country. Their __retaliation__ has only proved that they are as they seem: highly __dangerous__ and __uncontrollable__ creatures. My CIA unit, Cemetery Wind, is specialized in tracking any __Autobots__ who may have __survived__ the attack. If any civilians have any information, they are to call __immediately__..."_

Crosshairs turns it off with a growl deep in his throat, "Fraggin' liar. It wasn't us..."

Something sparks in his processor. A memory abruptly clicks itself into place and Crosshairs has to sit down heavily on the couch as it comes full force into his mind.

_There's__ a __line__ of agents __surrounding__ the base's entrance. They have guns trained on the __front lining__ N.E.S.T. soldiers __before__ them. __He's__ standing among the Autobots who are bristling with anger, betrayal, fear. __There's__ a smaller gray __Autobot__ cowering behind him. Optimus stands before __the__ agents, William Lennox at his side._

_"Crosshairs..." the young Autobot whispers, "Why are they here?"_

_He shakes his head, "I don't know."_

_"__They're__ not going to attack, are they?" Says a __nervous__ Sideswipe._

_"It __would__ be unwise. They are greatly outnumbered," __Someone__ says behind him. Drift?_

_Ratchet __turns__ to a Wrecker, as if __there's__ something __he's__ just realized and says, "__Ping__ Red Alert. Now. Tell him to evacuate this base."_

_Crosshairs looks at him, "__The__ frag? Why?"_

_He __doesn't__ get an answer. He sees the __CIA__ agents aim and hears the roaring of the black Cybertronian vehicle coming __their__ way and hears William Lennox's yell only seconds before the __explosions__ start._

_"__EVERYBODY__ RUN!"_

As the memory fades Crosshairs hears a strange, strangled noise, not realizing it's coming out of him until he lifts his face from his holoform's hands. Lennox's scream echoes deep inside his mind. It's something he knows is going to haunt him time and time again.

Gritting his teeth and staring down angrily, Crosshairs whispers, "It wasn't us."

* * *

Ellie closes her eyes and lets the warm water wash away all of her worries and fears, even if only for a few minutes. Her mind mulls over her current situation involving a particular Autobot downstairs. She finds herself worrying over him more and more as she comes to terms with the fact that, yes, she has indeed taken in what the government has classified as one of the most dangerous creatures to walk the Earth. The very same creature she's seen cry, and puke, and tremble, and stare into oblivion after the terrors of DC. It's incredibly difficult to see him as anything but a traumatized soul who isn't near as hazardous as he's been described. Maybe that's why she took him in.

Others may look at Crosshairs and see him as highly dangerous. All she sees is but a broken soldier.

Sighing, Ellie finishes her shower and steps out, wrapping herself and her hair into fluffy towels. After drying her hair out and letting it down to drip dry, she walks out of her bathroom and into her bedroom -to see Crosshairs sitting on her bed.

"Oh!" Ellie squeaks and very nearly drops the only thing keeping her covered. While scrambling to readjust her towel she glowers at him, "Dear God, you scared me. How did you get in here so quietly? Why are you in here?"

Crosshairs looks up, entirely uninterested in her current attire -or the lack of it- and replies hesitantly, "I just needed to... talk..."

She supposes she shouldn't be surprised. Crosshairs isn't human and wouldn't fall victim to what a usual man would do or think while looking at her like this. That's her thought process, at least until he looks her over again and it slowly dawns on him the awkwardness of the situation. His eyes widen at fraction and he looks away, mumbling, "Oh, right..."

"Yeah, um," Ellie can feel the heat on her cheeks and knows she must look like a tomato. She holds her towel up with an iron grip, "I'd very much like to get dressed first before we... talk. Please."

Nodding wordlessly, Crosshairs stands up and moves to leave. He glances down at her once and Ellie has to swallow the nervous lump in her throat. Human or not, he's still a very large and very intimidating male who has breached into her room without any forewarning. Is privacy just not an existing thing for his kind? She has half a mind to blurt that thought out but quickly thinks better of it. It's not his fault.

She quickly throws on some clothes once Crosshairs exits her room. A white sweater and some simple blue jeans are the first things she grabs out of her dresser. She takes a few spare moments to brush out her wet hair before taking in a small breath and heading downstairs. Crosshairs's tall figure standing in the hallway stops her. He's leaning against the open doorframe of Charlie's room and examining the space quietly.

Ellie stands there awkwardly for a few moments, not wanting to startle him. She clears her throat to grab his attention, only to see the barest hint of a smirk form on his face, the first hint of a smile she's seen on him since he's been here, "I heard you."

Right, super alien hearing, Ellie muses. With quiet steps she sidles beside him, looking into her son's room before looking back at him, "You said you wanted to talk?"

He nods.

"What about?"

Crosshairs shifts his weight and crosses his arms. He takes in a breath as if what he wants to say is going to take a lot of strength. He mumbles, "I remember... what happened."

Ellie's brows rise, "Oh, yeah? What do you remember? If... you're willing to talk about it, of course."

He says nothing at first. Instead he enters Charlie's room, Ellie following behind with a mildly bewildered expression. She's not sure what he finds interesting about her son's room but she doesn't question it while Crosshairs is finally in a mood to speak. He sits down on the end of Charlie's little twin bed, complete with blue space-themed sheets. The irony isn't lost on Ellie.

"Charlie, yeah?" He asks, taking a look around.

Ellie nods. Crosshairs grunts and then clasps his hands together, "In N.E.S.T., there was this... young 'Bot. Followed me all the damn time, never could shut his mouth for the life of 'im. But... a good kid. Eager to learn. Wanted to do what I do."

"Sharpshooting, right? You're a... sniper?" Ellie asks. Crosshairs gives her a puzzled look but nods. She explains quickly, "The internet. I, uh, looked you up in the leaked N.E.S.T. files, remember?"

"Right..." He mutters. He fidgets with his hands and Ellie almost forgets that she's looking at an alien. She doesn't think he realizes how human he can make himself seem sometimes.

"I remember... the agents surroundin' the headquarters," he begins slowly, "They were threatenin' us. Don't remember why. I rembered us standin' our ground. Optimus was there. Lennox, too. Bunch of human soldiers were there. Other Autobots were there, around me. The kid... he was behind me. He was scared."

He pauses then and trails off. His head falls into his hands and he wipes his face. Ellie stands patiently and waits for him to gather the strength to keep going. She carefully walks over and sits on the bed beside him.

"They fired first," Crosshairs hissed through his teeth, "Lennox told everybody to run 'n they fired. Killed our soldiers. Destroyed our base..."

His voice grows so thick that he doesn't say anymore. He doesn't need to. Ellie watches him with a heavy heart and places a soft hand on his shoulder. Then she slides her arm around his back, pulling until he relents and she brings him into her embrace. In a time where he's been betrayed by humans, the least she can do is to remind him that they're not all the same. Crosshairs stays stiff for a long moment, undoubtedly lacking experience with such intimate human interaction. Then Ellie feels his arms wrap around her and suddenly she's almost crushed against his holoform's solid chest.

"They killed 'im," Crosshairs sobs into her shoulder, "They killed Bluestreak."

In this moment, Ellie realizes why he chose Charlie's room. His pain brings her to tears. She sees now, that he's lost everything. His home, his comrades, himself, and his own little Charlie.

"I'm so sorry," Ellie whispers. She holds him long after the tears have dried, and he hangs on as if she's his only life line left.

Perhaps, in some ways, she is.

* * *

Crosshairs refuses to look at himself.

Every time he does, he's driven back down into the abyss of his dark thoughts, of everything he's so desperately wished he can forget. It's only when he's in the presence of Ellie, he realizes, when he can fight away the pain and the trauma. Odd as the woman is, Crosshairs can't help but crave the feeling in his spark when she talks to him, touches him, sometimes even looks at him. She's been his only light in his darkness, his only sense of comfort ever since he's been tossed in and out of chaos.

Emotions don't mix well with him. They never have. In his vorns and vorns of existence Crosshairs genuinely cannot recall a time where he's allowed himself to be as internally shattered as he was in front of Ellie. If anyone were to tell his fellow Autobots that he'd cried they would consider it a load of slag. Crosshairs doesn't cry. He doesn't show weakness or vulnerability. Him, the sharpshooter who's always notably snarky, and rude, and cocky, and grumpy? It wasn't possible.

But as it would seem, even Crosshairs can change. Maybe it's the trauma. Maybe it's survivor's guilt. Whatever it is, it's taken everything Crosshairs was before and destroyed it, left behind with whatever is left of N.E.S.T.. It's what caused him to cling to a human woman with a bleeding heart and grieve for everything he's lost. To grieve for Bluestreak.

Crosshairs doesn't even realize he's reactivated his holoform until he blinks back into reality. He's sitting in his cab, human-like hands gripping his steering wheel with a tense grip. Clenching his jaw he climbs out of himself. He forces himself to look at his true form-what's left of the Crosshairs before DC.

He shakes his head. No, that Crosshairs is dead. It's time for him to change, inside and out.

Quickly finding a metal scraper after some searching, he brings it down against his door and drags. It hurts, causes him to grit his holoform's teeth, but he ignores the pain. He keeps going, all along his sides, over his hood, his bumpers, fenders, until there's no red or blue left, until there's no hint of who he was before.

_Bluestreak __smirks__ and treads after him, "You __should__ change __your__ paint sometime."_

_"Why's that?" Crosshairs grumbles, but __there's__ no mistaking the slight quirk in __his__ lip plates._

_"__Don't__ you get tired of being confused with Optimus?"_

_"That only happened once, kid."_

_"Well, still, the red and blue's due __for__ something different, don't you think?" Bluestreak nudges him, "Maybe you should hit Sunstreaker up."_

_Crosshairs nudges back, a rare return of playfulness in the __otherwise__ stoic sharpshooter. It's only Bluestreak who can bring it out of him. He rubs the back of the young Praxian's head, "I'll think about it, Blue."_

_Bluestreak grins, __"You better, you grumpy old mech."_

* * *

_**Poor Crosshairs, this mech has lost everything. He'll need some serious TLC. :(**_

_**Had to post this a day early since, again, I'm going to be super busy on Monday. I noticed that I have a bunch of silent readers, which I'm happy about. Even if you don't review, I hope you all are enjoying! The view count on this is insanely high for a story that's only just starting out. Thank you all!**_

_**As always though, reviews are appreciated and loved!**_


	5. Chapter 5

The last thing Ellie's expecting is to be woken up by her kids on a weekend morning. She's quickly roused awake by their hands shaking her and she sits upright as one signs and the other speaks at the same time. She waves at them both, "Whoa, calm down! What's the matter with you two?"

Charlie signs, 'Big alien robot! Outside!'

"I- what?" She blinks and turns to Maddie.

"The Autobot," she says, pointing out the bedroom window, "Something's wrong with him, Mom."

Ellie doesn't need to be told twice. She jumps out of bed and clambers to the window, looking out to see the garage door wide open. Her eyes widen. She turns around, signing and speaking, "Who opened the garage door?"

Both kids point outside. Maddie answeres, "He did. It was open when we looked."

"You went outside and looked?"

They both nod. Ellie sighs, "Did he... say anything?"

Charlie and Maddie look at each other. Her daughter answers, "He wanted us to get you."

"...Okay, um," quickly blinking the tiredness out of her eyes, Ellie opens her dresser and pulls out some clothes, "I'll be ready in a moment kids. Don't go back out there without me, okay?"

They obediently wait in the living room while Ellie gets herself dressed. Both of them are crowding the back door when she comes down. She glances through the glass, seeing nothing but the open garage door again and internally prays that Crosshairs hasn't done something. Why would he send her kids to get her?

Trotting across the yard, her worries are immediately answered when she reaches the garage and peers inside.

Sitting against the back of the garage is Crosshairs, in his true form, with his knees pulled up and his head in his hands. It's not that which grabs her attention though; it's the empty cans of paint on the floor. She picks one up, gaping as she comes to realize what he had done.

"...Crosshairs?" she calls.

He looks up. Save for his silvery face plating, there isn't a single piece of him that isn't pitch black. He looks like an entirely different Autobot than the one she's taken care of for the last few weeks. On the floor she sees chips of the red and blue paint he once had. Ellie gapes at him, "Oh, Crosshairs. You..."

"Was tired of lookin' at myself," he mumbles, "and seein' what happened..."

Charlie picks up another one of the empty paint cans and hands it to her. Ellie takes it. It's one of the few cans of black paint she's kept in the garage since her ex had bought them but never used them. At least they've finally been used, she muses. Gently putting it down, she looks back up at Crosshairs, who doesn't look entirely pleased with what he's done with himself, leaving her to think it was probably done in an emotional spur of the moment.

"Well... at least all that old paint got put to use," she says with a short chuckle. Crosshairs, clearly not amused, just continues to frown at her. Ellie sighs, "It doesn't look as bad as you may be thinking. It's... different, but-"

Crosshairs huffs, "'S not that."

Ellie decides not to pry, considering he very obviously isn't in the mood to talk about why he's painted himself completely black. It's going to take some time to get used to the new color scheme, but like she's mentioned, she doesn't think it looks _bad_. If anything this helps hide his identity, now that he's no longer red and blue like he is in his N.E.S.T. profile.

While momentarily preoccupied with her thoughts Ellie fails to notice her kids wandering the closest they've ever been to him. Maddie stops within a few feet but Charlie runs up to Crosshairs until he has to crane his head nearly completely up to look at the massive Autobot. Ellie moves to grab him, but something tells her to see what happens. Suppressing her motherly instinct, she decides to watch quietly. Crosshairs has never interacted with her kids before.

Charlie openly gaps at Crosshairs, who in turn only stares back down at the child. He tilts his head, looking at the little boy as if he's something he's never seen before. Actually, Ellie thinks, Charlie probably _is _the first human child he's been exposed to. She knows that others would think she's insane and a horrible mother to let him get close. But Ellie's come to know Crosshairs just enough to know that he will never intentionally harm her or her family. She trusts that he's careful enough to avoid hurting Charlie.

Maddie looks back at her mother, smiling knowingly. Ellie smiles back, her eyes focused on the scene. Charlie raises his little hand and waves it. Crosshairs hesitates, looks to Ellie for assistance, and it takes him a minute to see that she's mouthing at him to wave back. With a small movement he raises his palm in a sort of half-wave, but even that miniscule motion is enough to make her son bounce with glee.

When Charlie bounds back to his sister, Maddie looks up at the Autobot and says shyly, "Hi."

Crosshairs peers down at her curiously, "Hi. Name's Maddie, yeah?"

Maddie gawks but she nods while holding Charlie close, "U-uh, yeah. That's me."

He meets Ellie's eyes, mirroring her vaguely amused expression. Ellie just finds herself immensely grateful that he's being patient with her children, which only further proves to her that Autobots truly are peaceful beings, even if they look and sound scary at first. She's about to advise her children to give him space when Crosshairs slowly and carefully lowers his arm and extends his fingers to Charlie and Maddie.

"'M Crosshairs," he says, in the most gentle tone of voice Ellie's ever heard out of him. Both of her kids glance back unsurely at her, waiting for Ellie to nod encouragingly before they step closer to him. Charlie reaches out first, his little hand barely covering Crosshairs's index finger. Maddie is next, laughing a little nervously as she too touches him.

Ellie continues to watch, a smile on her lips. The two of them marvel at Crosshairs for a little while longer until he cautiously pulls his hand away and places it back into his lap. Maddie backs away, gently pulling Charlie with her and beams at Ellie, "I like him. He's cool."

Ellie laughs, "He is pretty cool, isn't he?"

Charlie waves to grab her attention and signs. She smiles after watching him and says to Crosshairs, "Charlie says he likes the black."

He utters a noise that sounds like an amused huff. Then he surprises her when he looks down at Charlie, brings his palm to his chin and drags it down into the 'thank you' sign. Enthralled by the gesture, Charlie grins. Suddenly sporting a scrunched face, he uses the sign for 'bathroom', which Maddie sees and offers to take him back inside. As her kids leave the garage, Ellie crosses her arms, "Where did you learn sign language?"

Crosshairs taps his head.

"Oh, right," she mumbles, "The internet. I forgot about that. So... does that mean you can speak a whole bunch of languages?"

"We can speak every documented Earth language," he says simply. Once again Ellie finds herself utterly fascinated by Crosshairs's kind all together. What other amazing things are Cybertronians capable of?

"Listen, I've actually been... thinking about taking you somewhere," Ellie says, changing the subject, "I have a place in mind that's really secluded. It's private property, meaning that no one outside of those in my family can go there. I was wondering if maybe... you'd like to get out of this garage for a bit."

Crosshairs looks interested right away, "Where's it at?"

"Somewhere you can safely walk around. I figure it's probably good for you to stretch your legs -your real ones, you know?" Ellie quirks her brow, "And your... new paintjob is actually going to make it much easier to take you there. That is, if you're able to drive again. You won't be recognized."

He looks down at himself, as if that's something he hasn't even realized until she pointed it out. Taking a moment to ponder on it, Crosshairs eventually nods and says, "Been wantin' to get outta here."

"Okay, good. I'll let the kids know and we can head out," she smiles, "I'll lead the way in my car and you-"

Crosshairs cuts her off with an unexpected offer, "I can take y'all."

"...Oh. Are you sure? I mean, you don't have to. I don't mind driving-" Ellie babbles on, but again Crosshairs interrupts her and shakes his head.

"'S fine. I can drive," he says, and then adds, "'S the least I can do, after what you've done for me."

Ellie decides to stop arguing. Crosshairs is apparently adamant on taking all of them instead, and what the heck? It'll save her some gas. Here's hoping that he's a good driver, "...Okay."

* * *

Crosshairs has never had humans in his cab before.

It's almost funny when he thinks about it. Before DC he would never have let anyone inside of him. All N.E.S.T. soldiers knew how peculiar Crosshairs was about it. He was among the handful of Autobot who, although respected humans, didn't feel comfortable enough to let the 'fleshies' ride around in them. He was never reprimanded for it, as it was just one of those quirks that humans and Autobots mutually respected. Not all Autobots were willing to be living taxis and those who had that view were never forced to abandon it.

But Ellie's different. She isn't some soldier in a base. She's enigmatic, and that uniqueness just seems to have a strange power to bring out the unusual in Crosshairs himself. He still isn't entirely sure what drove him to so readily offer to be the ride, but he doesn't feel like he regrets it. He's already in his vehicle mode when Ellie and her two children come outside. He's since activated his holoform and has had it leaning against his driver's door patiently.

Without a word he moves to the side, opening his doors for them. They all look a little surprised at that. He supposes it's because his car doors opened without his holoform moving at all. That, too, is still an unusual feeling. His consciousness is split between two different forms and yet he can still manipulate both. He wonders how some of the other Autobots had gotten so accustomed to using their own holoforms so quickly.

When none of them move he inclines his holoform's head, "We goin' or what?"

"Oh, uh," Ellie snaps out of it and ushers her kids forward. They both look a little unsure still, so Crosshairs uses his holoform this time to recline his seats forward. Charlie, fearless as ever, is the first to climb inside, more than likely just excited that he gets to ride in a '98 Corvette. He sends Crosshairs a bright smile that hits him in the spark unexpectedly before the little boy settles in the backseats.

Maddie is still a little hesitant, so Crosshairs says with a half-smile, "Ain't gonna bite you, I promise."

That seems to do the trick. She giggles a little and again there's a pinch deep inside Crosshairs's spark that he's not sure what to make of. He decides to ignore it, if only for the moment, and turns to Ellie. She fidgets with her hands, "Are you sure this is okay? The kids don't annoy you or anything, do they? I can still-"

"Ellie."

Before he realizes he's doing it Crosshairs reaches out and grabs her forearm with a gentle grasp. It stops her from rambling again, her eyes wide at his unexpected touch. He freezes for a moment, too, not having expected to feel so compelled to touch her. Ellie doesn't take her arm back, though, so luckily Crosshairs doesn't think she minds it.

"Just..." he lets her go, mildly conflicted by his own actions. He sighs and simply gestures with his head, putting on a small smile, "Just get in."

Smiling back in a way that touches his spark one last time, Ellie does.

* * *

Ellie navigates Crosshairs through a parkland area in the rural part of the city. There's a trail deep in the woods, one that would eventually lead to a photoesque riverside with water that sparkles in the afternoon sun. It's peaceful and perfectly secluded from the rest of the world.

The kids climb out and eagerly approach the water's edge. Ellie closes her eyes and breathes in the smell of freshwater and woodland. Childhood memories echo in the back of her mind. She opens her eyes to see Crosshairs's holoform climb out as well, his bright blue eyes immediately taking in his surroundings.

Ellie approaches the river and sits down on the bank. She beckons Crosshairs to come and do the same.

"I used to come here with my sister all the time," she says as he settles down next to her. She crosses her legs and leans forward, smiling sadly, "Our parents owned this land. They had planned on building a house here, before they died. I own it now, and I like to bring the kids here every now and then. Sometimes I come here by myself, while they're at school, just so I can relax."

"What happened to them?" Crosshairs asks, looking over at her, "Your creators?"

Ellie pauses for a short moment, remembering suddenly through N.E.S.T.'s leaked files that Cybertronians do have an entirely different terminology. Crosshairs seems to catch on to it and clears his throat, "Parents, I meant."

Ellie looks down into her lap, "Dad had cancer. Mom died of old age shortly after."

"...'M sorry."

She shrugs, "It's okay. We knew they were going to pass eventually. That's the thing about human life. We don't live forever, so... there comes a time in our lives where we expect death. It was hard, but I know they're in a better place, together."

They sit in silence for a while after that, quietly watching as Charlie and Maddie take turns skipping rocks across the water's surface. Ellie glances at Crosshairs, chuckles, and remarks, "You know, I brought you here so you wouldn't have to use this."

She gestures at his holoform. He quirks his mouth.

"I told you it's safe here. Trust me," Ellie says with a smile, "I wouldn't have brought you here if it wasn't. It's okay."

He stares at her for a long moment. Then, in a sudden flurry of cackling blue sparks his holoform is gone. Ellie blinks a few times, wondering if she's really just seen that, when she hears noises behind her. She whirls around just in time to see the black Corvette begin to split apart and transform.

Ellie's instantly in awe. Though she's aware that Cybertronians can transform like this she's never actually _seen_ Crosshairs do it. It's mesmerizing, seeing parts and plates flow over one another, watching him rise and rise until he's standing in all his twenty-eight feet glory. Charlie and Maddie stop what they're doing to watch as well, all open mouths and wide eyes.

Once he's done transforming Crosshairs stretches various parts of his body, uttering relieved noises when joints crack and hydraulics whir. Ellie's positive that she's made the right choice, seeing that Crosshairs must have been uncomfortably stiff for some time. There's no skin and muscle that flex in response to his movements, but his armor shifts and rolls in ways that convey the same message; Crosshairs is undoubtedly powerful. It's amazing to Ellie how gentle he was with her kids when he's intimidating, large, and strong enough to kill a human with a flick of a finger.

Easing down slowly, Crosshairs settles on his knees. His glowing eyes fall dim for a long moment and his armor grows slack. It's the most relaxed Ellie's ever seen him and she stays decidedly silent, allowing him to find the peace she's always found for herself when she comes here. He definitely needs it more than her at the moment.

"...Blue would've liked it here," Crosshairs mumbles sadly.

Ellie frowns. She settles next to him, saying quietly, "I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, eyes brightening, "Thing is, we _can_ live forever. Death don't come easy for us. We ain't prepared for it, so when it happens... dunno, guess that's why it's hard to get over it."

"Well, trying to get over it is your first problem," Ellie says, earning her a deep, confused frown from him, "Yes, it's important to move on, but you shouldn't force yourself to. I don't know about you guys, but we humans have something called a grieving period. When we loose a loved one, there's a period of time where we have to mourn. That's the only way we _can_ move on. I get that you're all tough and war-hardened, big guy, but even the strongest have to grieve sometimes to get themselves together."

Crosshairs looks away, mulling on what she's saying. Ellie hopes she's gotten her message across, she's never been good at advice. Charlie and Maddie sit down next to her, arms full of rocks they've collected to flip across the river. Maddie frowns at Crosshairs, and then silently signs to Ellie, 'Is he okay?'

'He's been through a lot,' Ellie signs back, 'He just needs time.'

Maddie glances up at him again, 'Bringing him here was a good idea, I think.'

Ellie takes a look at him herself, smiling sadly, 'Me too.'

It stays like this for a long time. Ellie tosses rocks with the kids and Crosshairs watches nearby, completely unaware they he's just slightly smiling the entire time.

* * *

Ellie's sad when they leave, having not gone to her parents' lakeside for a long time. By the time they return home the sun is setting, painting the sky with a beautiful array pinks, yellows and oranges. Looking out from the window, it's one of the things she enjoys about living in the countryside. The kids are asleep in the backseats, slumped against the doors. She hopes that isn't a bother for Crosshairs.

His holoform stares steadily ahead, one hand loosely resting on top of the wheel, giving the perfect illusion that he's a human being. His brows are furrowed together slightly and his mouth is set in a firm line. There's certainly something he's thinking about but Ellie chooses not to prod. She's come to figure out that there's only certain times when Crosshairs is willing to open up some. Other times he keeps his feelings advertently hidden away.

"Kids," she whispers, shaking them each until they wake, "We're home."

Ellie helps her sleepy children climb out once Crosshairs pulls in. She glances at him gratefully when he holds his door open and says, "Thank you, for driving."

"Yeah," Maddie speaks up, smiling at him, "Thanks Crosshairs."

Crosshairs nods a little, seeming a bit unsure of what to say. Ellie takes Charlie's hand, grabbing his attention, 'What do you say, Charlie?'

The little boy looks between her and Crosshairs's holoform for a moment. She expects him to thank the Autobot, but instead she's surprised to see him come forward and wrap his little arms around Crosshairs's waist in a big hug. His holoform's eyes widen at the unexpected embrace and he doesn't reciprocate, but Charlie doesn't mind one bit. He backs away with a big and innocent smile and signs, 'Thank you.'

Slowly, Crosshairs half-raises his own hand and signs a bewildered, 'You're welcome.'

Grinning even wider, Charlie bounces, thrilled that Crosshairs is capable of signing back. Aside from his sister and his mother and the interpreters at school, he's never been capable of communicating with many people very well. But being able to communicate with an Autobot is simply exciting to little Charlie. Ellie gives a short laugh and gently pulls him to her. She turns to Maddie, "You two head inside, okay? I'll be there in a bit."

Once her kids enter the house Ellie turns back to Crosshairs, "I'm sorry about that. I didn't know he was going to do that. I hope it didn't-"

"Ellie," he says, in that same tone he'd used just before they left for the river. Realizing that she was babbling again she chuckles and looks down, "Ah, sorry. I ramble sometimes, I know..."

"'S fine," he says, his expression amused, "Kid's fine, too. Didn't bother me."

Ellie meets his eyes and smiles, "I'm glad. I, uh, read that some Autobot's aren't as human-friendly as others and I've been worried that the kids and I have been a nuisance to you and I don't want to make you uncomfortable and I just-"

Crosshairs grabs her wrist, silencing her immediately. His grasp is firm but not at all harmful. Ellie swallows, trying not to think about how his hand can wrap around her entire forearm. She utters a tiny disgruntled noise when he tugs her a little closer.

"Stop," he says simply, placing a finger under her chin and using his free hand to make her look up at him. Ellie's instantly drawn to his piercing blue eyes. He examines her face for a moment and then mumbles, "You worry too much."

"I know," she says softly, "I'm a worrier. It's just what I do."

Huffing in short amusement he lets her go and walks to the front of his real form, sitting on his hood. After a brief moment of hesitation Ellie joins him, sitting down next to him. She's surprised to feel his hood softly vibrating, like he's purring underneath her.

"Did the riverside help at all?"

Crosshairs nods, "Little bit."

"Good," she smiles, "I hoped it would help clear your mind a little."

They watch the sunset for a while, content in each other's presence. Eventually Ellie can feel his eyes on her and she turns to see Crosshairs looking at her with a strange expression, "What?"

His eyes flick downwards, "I can feel that."

"Feel what -Oh!" Ellie snaps her palm up like she's been burned, realizing with horror that she's been drumming her fingernails on his hood, "I'm so sorry! I didn't even realize -that must have felt really annoying!"

With a pink tint to her cheeks Ellie firmly places her hands in her lap, as if she doesn't trust them not to touch where they shouldn't. She hears an exasperated sigh and then a much larger hand pries hers from between her thighs, placing it back on the black surface of his hood. She gapes as Crosshairs, surprised.

"Relax," he says, taking his hand off of hers, "You act like I'm 'bout to kill you."

Laughing nervously, Ellie clears her throat, "Yeah, you're right. I'm s-"

"Don't you fraggin' apologize either," he says in an annoyed growl, turning to her, "Ain't nothin' you've done wrong."

"...Right, okay," she murmurs. She looks down at her palm on his hood and, with curiosity, she drags her nails up and down. Crosshairs glances down, clearly bemused by the strange sensation.

"So you can feel this," she says.

Crosshairs nods. Ellie takes her hand and places it on his holoform's arm, squeezing softly, "But you can also feel this."

Again he nods, "Kinda like havin' two bodies. Can feel sensations in both."

"That sounds really amazing and weird at the same time."

Crosshairs just exhales in amusement. He turns his arm around so that his palm faces up. With a tilt of his head he lets Ellie's much smaller palm fall into his. She allows the contact only for a short moment before taking her hand back. The urgency doesn't go unnoticed by Crosshairs. He frowns and quirks a brow at her.

"Do I scare you, Ellie?"

_There's__ alcohol in his breath. She __struggles__, writhes and fights __but__ she __can't__ escape. Tears run down her face as his fingers dig into her __scalp__ and yank. She feels like she __can't__ move, __can't__ speak, __can't__ even breath, or else __he's__ going to beat her. Again. She can hear her baby boy __crying__ in his crib upstairs. _

_"Thomas, __don't__, please," she cries, "I need to get to Charlie, __I__ need-"_

_He strikes her __across__ the face, hard enough for her to hit her head against the side of the refrigerator. He grabs her by her throat and pins her against the counter. __She's__ sobbing in pain, her face and body bruised, her heart pounding in her chest._

_Leaning forward until they're __inches__ apart, he grins with malice. The smell of alcohol is almost unbearable._

_"Do __I__ scare you, Ellie?"_

A hand on her shoulder shakes her back into the present. Ellie chokes out a distressed noise and tenses. She can't help it. Instincts borne from her marriage come flooding back and she nearly screams when all she sees is a large man leaning towards her. For a fleeting moment she forgets where she is, what she's doing, and who the man is who's so desperately trying to bring her back.

"Ellie-"

"NO!" Ellie yelps when he tries to touch her again. She springs from the hood, and when the man moves to follow her she does the only thing she can think of. She hunches her shoulders, brings her hands up and pleads, "Please don't!"

Nothing happens, to her complete surprise. There's no punch or slap or ugly words. Slowly but surely she comes back to her senses, lowering her hands to see a very confused Crosshairs staring back at her. He has his hands raised but looks as if he's now afraid to even reach out to her.

"I-" Ellie starts, but she can't form any words. She brings her hands through her hair, shakes her head and turns away, "I have to go."

She hears Crosshairs call her name but Ellie rushes into her house, leaving him alone and confused. He stands there long into the night, wondering what in this Primus-forsaken universe he had done wrong.


	6. Chapter 6

Ellie's beginning to avoid him.

It isn't obvious, at least not at first. Crosshairs has stayed with the family for almost a month now and his presence has become a normality among them. It's not unusual for him to walk into the house in holoform, or take a drive by himself when he needs it, or even join them for dinner every now and then when it's discovered that he can eat and drink.

But Crosshairs has a keen optic. Always has. It doesn't escape his attention when Ellie shifts away whenever he gets close, or busies herself more so that he's not inclined to bother her, or simply refuses to keep eye contact more than what's necessary. It seems that ever since that night, Ellie's developed a fear that wasn't there before.

Or was it? Has she always been this afraid of him and he's just never truly noticed? He doesn't think so, not when she hadn't called as soon as he dropped into her property, not when she'd come up to him before with seemingly no fear, not when she'd willingly reached out and hugged him, when he mourned for Bluestreak. It doesn't make sense. He terrifies her and he can't figure out why.

The kids have become the opposite, however. Almost everyday they're either in the garage talking to him or he's in the house with the two of them always at his sides, asking him questions about his kind and what he can do. Old Crosshairs might have been annoyed. No, he definitely would have been annoyed. But now he welcomes the interaction without a second thought. Maddie and Charlie retain a sweet innocence and curiosity that painfully and yet sparkwarmingly reminds him of Bluestreak.

He watches Charlie and Maddie play with some Legos. They're in the living room, his holoform settled on the couch watching some sort of space documentary. He's a bit amused by humans and their speculation of alien life. Ellie walks in, smiles slightly when she sees the scene, and then leaves for the kitchen before Crosshairs can even sit up. He frowns, watching her disappear around the corner.

"I think you make Mom nervous."

He turns, surprised to see Maddie stand up and sit down beside him. The little girl smiles a little sadly as she glances where her mother had gone, "Ever since Dad, big guys sometimes scare her."

Crosshairs remembers the fear that had gripped Ellie that night. It came so abruptly, so unexpectedly, as if she'd somehow been driven back into a memory she hadn't seen in a long time. It makes sense now, her pleading, her fear. But all that, caused by her mate?

He sits straighter, facing Maddie and letting his confusion show, "Your sire - father. He do somethin' to her?"

Maddie looks down, "I don't remember a lot, 'cause I was only six. But I know Dad used to do... bad things to Mom. He yelled a lot and made Mom cry. And he hurt her all the time."

Something burns deep inside of Crosshairs. He knows humans have more primitive, barbaric tendencies as an organic species, but this? To lay deliberate harm on a mate is practically unheard of for Cybertronians. In what universe does any human male find it appropriate to treat his mate so poorly enough that she fears? Crosshairs has to take a moment to look away and restrain his angered thoughts.

"That ain't right," he says in a low voice.

Maddie goes on, "Mom managed to get us away from Dad when Charlie was still a baby. But sometimes she still cries at night. I hear it. I think she still has bad dreams about it."

Charlie comes up to Crosshairs with a Lego car in hand. Looking a little bemused he takes the toy, simply holding it and turning it around between his fingers. It's made up of nearly all black Legos and Crosshairs finds himself smiling a little. As the little boy returns to building something else he murmurs to Maddie, "I don't mean to scare her."

"I know," Maddie replies. She scoots closer and smiles at the Lego car in his hands, "I'm not afraid of you, though. Charlie isn't either, obviously. And I know you won't hurt Mom either. Autobots protect people, don't they?"

He's briefly amazed by the level of maturity in this young girl. At only twelve years of age she knows right from wrong and already has so much trust placed in him. More trust than most human adults, he thinks. With a half-smile he nods, "That's right."

She plucks the car out from Crosshairs's grasp and spins it around herself, "I don't think Mom is actually scared of you. I think she's scared of remembering Dad."

Crosshairs mulls on this for the rest of the day, wondering what he can do to differentiate himself from a despicable man who's terrified the woman who's saved his life.

* * *

Ellie can't sleep.

These nights come and go on occasion. Even six years after she's escaped her marriage there's some memories that cease to leave her be. Memories that come when she least expects, sometimes. Such memories have forced her to stay wary of the Autobot staying with her now. She can't handle reliving a memory like that again. She knows it's irrational, but she can't help that she's afraid that looking at Crosshairs's holoform will bring forth the horrors again.

She tosses and turns in her bed, trying and failing to fight away his voice. His words stab into her, his memory a plague in her mind.

_Worthless__ whore._

_You're__ pathetic._

_I never __should__ have __married__ you._

_I bet these kids __aren't__ even mine._

She sits up, rubs her face and quietly goes downstairs. Tears streak her face and she can feel the phantom pain of every bruise he'd laid on her, every strand of hair he'd pulled. With trembling hands she pours herself a glass of water and chugs it down so quickly that she nearly chokes. She leans against the counter and supresses a sob.

_You're weak_, he'd always used to say. Maybe he was right. If she can't rid herself of his torture even after all this time, perhaps she really is as weak as he'd always considered her. Angrily she wipes at her tears, only for more to take her place. It seems that even after he's gone, Thomas still maintains his emotional control over her.

Ellie doesn't even realize she's sliding down to the floor. She wraps her arms around herself, pulls her knees in and lets herself cry quietly, just as she's always done when these few nights come along.

"Ellie..."

Fear prickles it's way through her. A man's voice makes her look up and she sees the tall, overbearing sillouete of a man before her. Instantly her mind flies to the worst. _He's__ back. He came back. __He's__ going __to__ hurt me._

"Please don't hurt me..." she sobs, "I did everything right. I promise."

She closes her eyes, refusing to even look. There's nothing for a long moment. No angry yelling, no ugly swearing, just the complete silence of the kitchen at night. She hears the man shift and she flinches, prepares for the pain.

All she feels are gentle fingers to her face.

"Open your eyes, doll."

Doll. That's different. His voice is different. Thomas never called her 'doll'. He never had an accent either. Her face scrunches in confusion, uncomfortable with the touch to her cheek but no longer out of fear.

"Ellie," he whispers again, "Open your eyes."

Slowly, she does. Instead of him standing dominant over her he's kneeling before her, non-threatening. Instead of a snarling expression she sees a handsome, worried face. Instead of harsh brown eyes she sees a gorgeous, bright shade of blue. The thumb on her cheek rubs softly, so different from a harsh slap.

"What do you see?" He asks.

"...You."

"Yeah, but who am I?"

Ellie swallows thickly, "Crosshairs..."

"That's right, doll," he smiles slightly, "'S just me. He ain't here. He ain't gonna hurt you anymore."

Ellie stares at him for a long time. Crosshairs stays where he is patiently, wiping away her tears as they come. She's not sure how but he seems to understand what's happening. It hits her then that in six years of restless, emotional nights, this is the first time someone has come to her and saved her from the darkness Thomas had left behind in her head.

Ellie sobs and lunges forward. She clings to her only form of comfort and cries quietly until she has no more tears, until her sobs cease, until her pain is eventually replaced by strong, protective warmth. The hand in her hair softly strokes instead of pulls. The lips against her temple whisper words of comfort instead of malice, and manages to lull her into a peaceful, empty sleep.

* * *

When she wakes up, Ellie finds herself in the kitchen again. A sigh leaves her lips, realizing she'd had another one of her nightly emotional meltdowns. Despite the fact that she'd somehow managed to cry herself to sleep Ellie feels as exhausted as she had when she went to bed. She has a headache -from all of the crying no doubt.

She shifts, freezing when she feels a strong arm squeeze her gently. It takes her a solid minute to realize that she isn't sitting on the kitchen floor, but in someone's _lap_. The surface she's tucked herself against isn't the cabinets, but a man's softly vibrating chest.

Out of pure instinct Ellie springs away. Or tries to, but she's stopped by two arms that wrap around her and pull her back in. Her heart pounds in her chest and she very nearly screams when a familiar, raspy voice says to her, "Ellie -hey, Ellie. 'S all right. You're fine."

Her hand flies to the large palm pressed against her stomach, gasping for air when she feels like she's on the verge of a panic attack. His other hand reaches up and holds the side of her face, gently turning it so she's leaning back against his chest, her face tucked near his neck.

"Crosshairs," she breathes with realization. Ellie twists again but the Autobot once again keeps her in his lap, not being forceful but staying firm all the same. Still very unnerved that she's in a large man's lap she protests in a small voice, "Let me go, Crosshairs."

"Not 'till you calm down," he replies. She's so close that his rough voice reverberates through his chest. It's insane to her how human he feels. The only difference is the absence of a heartbeat. On that thought her free hand touches her chest and feels her own heartbeat going through the roof.

Crosshairs's palm covers hers. It should scare her even more but for some unknown reason it doesn't. He feels her rapid heart for himself and murmurs in her ear, "You're panickin', doll. Just breathe."

"I can't-"

"You can. Breathe, Ellie."

Knowing he's not going to release her until she does Ellie tries to focus on calming herself down. It doesn't work, though, so she decides to try and distract herself instead. She asks tentatively, "What time is it?"

"Four thirty-one in the mornin'."

"...You stayed here all night?"

"Mmhmm," he hums in her hair, "Couldn't leave you in here after that."

The fact that he's been holding her like this all night is strangely touching. He's sacrificed his own comfort so that she could get a handful of hours of sleep. Before, Ellie wouldn't get any sleep at all. Biting her lip Ellie exhales, "You... weren't supposed to see any of that."

"'S fine."

"It's not fine, it's... embarrassing."

"Don't be embarrassed by something that ain't your fault, doll."

He's never called her that before. Ellie's not sure whether to feel comforted by that affectionate term or not. What's it supposed to mean, now that he's calling her that? Does Crosshairs even know the implications behind it?

"'M sorry, Ellie," he says with somber tone, "'Bout what he did to you."

Browns furrowing, she cranes her neck to look up at him, "How do you know about that?"

"Maddie," he says simply, "She told be 'bout it."

Ellie looks down again, frowning. After taking a deep breath she speaks, "So... I met Thomas when we were really young. He seemed so nice and charming at first. Our first few years of marriage were wonderful. We had Maddie, everything was nice. But... then he changed. His true colors began to show. He drank at lot, and when he was drunk, he'd... he'd..."

Tears threaten to come again and Ellie has to fight them back with a shake of her head. Crosshairs holds her close and this time Ellie finds herself welcoming his closeness. She feels safe and protected in his arms and for a moment she completely forgets why she's been afraid of him at all.

"What happened that night, Ellie?" Crosshairs asks, "What'd I do to make you fear me?"

"I'm not afraid of you, Crosshairs, it's just..." she fumbles with words, then sighs, "Thomas used to... corner me. He'd make me cry and then he'd ask me if... if he scares me. It was like some sort of sick game for him. So... when you asked me that, I just..."

"I get it," he mumbles quietly, "'M sorry. Didn't know-"

"I know you didn't know Crosshairs, it's okay. I'm sorry for pushing you away. Like I said I wasn't afraid of you, I just... didn't want to relive something like that again. I thought I'd gotten over that hellhole of a marriage after so many years, but... I guess not."

Crosshairs exhales, "Cybertronians... we don't tolerate that slag. Ain't in our programming to harm our sparkmate."

Ellie looks up again, "Spark... mate...?"

He glances down at her, "Yeah. When two Cybertronians are interested 'n each other, we got somethin' called a courting period."

"Oh, so like dating?"

"Kinda," Crosshairs shifts beneath her, "If they feel they're compatible they'll bond with each other. We do that by mergin' our sparks," he brings her palm up and places it flat against the center of his chest, the source of the soft vibration deep inside him, "'S what we got instead of a heart. Our sparks are our souls, everythin' we are."

Ellie gapes at him, amazed, "So... you guys literally join your souls together when you... marry..."

"When we bond, yeah."

"That sounds..." she stares at her palm pressed to his holoform's chest, "That sounds so... intimate."

"'Cause it is, doll," he says, smirking just slightly, "Bondin' means the two can feel each other's thoughts 'n emotions. Means no secrets from each other. They become one."

"Wow," she whispers. Ellie doesn't think she'll ever stop being amazed by Cybertronian culture. They're so much more than the giant killing machines that her government has made them out to be. Crosshairs only continues to prove that.

"How do sparkmates treat each other, Crosshairs?"

"With love 'n respect. They'll lay down their lives for each other. 'S how it should be," he says. Frowning down at her, Crosshairs adds, "'S how it should've been for you."

Ellie snorts, "Unfortunately, humans aren't near as trustworthy. We're cruel. I'm sure you've figured that out by now."

He squeezes her, a small smirk on his lips, "They ain't all cruel."

"Most are."

"Guess I got lucky then."

Ellie gasps, then chuckles and buries her head into his chest, to hide the blush rushing to her face. She's completely forgotten that she'd wanted to escape his lap as soon as she could. Now she simply wants to stay there. Her smile falters after a bit and she shakes her head.

"I'm a broken woman, Crosshairs."

"'N I'm a broken soldier."

Ellie looks up at him, "Well, don't we make a fine pair."

Crosshairs huffs. Gently he takes her delicate hands in his and places them in her lap. His thumbs rub over them softly.

"We both got our demons, doll," he murmurs.

Ellie says nothing. For what feels like hours she relaxes against his holoform, oddly feeling the most at peace now than she has in a long, long time. As it grows brighter in the kitchen, though, she knows she'll have to get the kids up soon for school.

"Can I get off of you yet?" She mumbles.

"Could've gotten off ten minutes ago," Crosshairs says, the smirk evident in his tone. Fighting another blush, Ellie elbows him in the stomach, which doesn't do much considering he just chuckles. She struggles to get up but squeaks when Crosshairs flows to his feet and picks her up in one fluid motion.

"Crosshairs!" She hisses, failing to stop the smile on her face. She smacks his chest with her hands, "Can you _please_ put me down?"

Looking down at her thoughtfully, he instead places her carefully on the counter so that they're more eye-level. Ellie wipes at her eyes, ridding herself of the tear stains that remain after last night. She opens them to see Crosshairs's holoform watching her intensely, his blue eyes piercing and yet alluring.

"You all right?" He asks. His arms are braced on either side of her, but Ellie doesn't feel cornered. He's no Thomas. She knows he's not going to hurt her.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay," she says. With a grateful expression Ellie smiles, "...Thank you."

Crosshairs continues to stare, as if he's looking for something. Ellie squirms under his gaze until he brings a hand up and makes her look at him again, "Do me a favor, yeah?"

Ellie nods, words failing on her.

Crosshairs strokes her cheek with his thumb, "Don't be afraid."

Placing her hand over his, Ellie nods again, "I'm not. Not anymore."

Crosshairs just smiles a little. Ellie finds herself once again drawn to his stunning eyes. Eyes that reflect a pain of his own. It's in this moment that she realizes he's right. There's demons that haunt both of them. Ellie still struggles to get over Thomas and she knows that Crosshairs is still struggling to handle losing Bluestreak.

She sees him leaning closer and feels herself doing the same. There's a sudden need to be even closer to him, to understand all that this broken soldier is. Ellie closes her eyes, lets him pull her close -

Their eyes snap open when the unmistakable, shrill ring of Ellie's phone shatters the silence. Sighing, she pulls back and looks down at the vibrating device on the counter nearby. Her brows furrow, "Someone's calling me?"

Crosshairs mirrors her confusion, "This early?"

Ellie snatches the phone, checks the caller, and frowns, "It's my sister."

They meet eyes briefly before she swipes and answers, "Jenny?"

_"Oh thank God, you're awake,"_ her sister's voice is filled with worry, _"Ellie, have you checked the news lately?"_

"The news?" Ellie murmurs confusingly, "No, Jenny I haven't. It's, like, five in the morning, why are you calling me? Isn't it two in the morning over there?"

_"There putting your entire area in lockdown, El."_

"They're _what?_" Jumping off of the counter Ellie scrambles past Crosshairs and into the living room. She grabs the remote and turns on the television to see exactly what her sister's just claimed: news of nearly all of DC going under extreme surveillance after sightings of... a black Lamborghini?

_"Ellie? Are you there?"_

Ellie fumbles with her phone, her eyes still glued to the TV, "Yeah, yeah. They're saying... they're saying a _Lamborghini_ attacked the James River docks?"

She hears Crosshairs utter a disgruntled noise behind her.

_"Apparently it was seen teaming up with that Cemetery Wind group that keeps claiming to hunt Cybertronians. Pretty contradicting, don't you think?"_ Jenny says, _"I called as soon as we heard about it. Ellie, you realize you're living in a dangerous area, right?"_

"I know Jen, but-"

_"But nothing!"_ Her sister protests, _"Ellie I'm going crazy over here, knowing you live so close to all of this crazy alien shit going on! Just please, please, come to us. I'm begging you, El. Just take the kids and go."_

Deep down she knows Jenny is right. It's not safe when the news is going on about a rogue Cybertronian attacking random places. With her area in lockdown it's very possible that she's going to have some secret agency at her doorstep, asking what she's seen. But Ellie takes one look at Crosshairs and shakes her head, "Not yet."

Crosshairs frowns at her.

Jenny sputters over the phone,_ "Not yet? What's that supposed to mean?"_

Ellie sighs, "Do you remember when I said that I have something that I need to take care of first?"

_"Forget about it, Ellie! You and your kids' lives are far more important than whatever the hell you're fretting over!"_

Again Ellie shakes her head. She looks over to see Crosshairs's intense gaze and she sighs, "I'll call you back, Jen. I've... it's way too early to be talking about this. I'm still half-asleep and you _need_ to sleep."

_"Ellie, please-"_

"We'll discuss it later, okay?"

Jenny sighs, _"All right. Call me back soon, okay?"_

"I will. Thank you for letting me know what's going on."

_"Be careful, El. I love you."_

"Love you too, Jen."

Ellie brings the phone down to see Crosshairs still looking at her intensely. Then his eyes go to her phone, "She's right."

"She's just worried."

He shakes his head, "I need to go."

Ellie frowns, "You can't just leave-"

"If someone comes here-"

"They're not going to-"

Crosshairs comes forward and brings his hands to both sides of her face, urging her to stop talking and listen to him.

"If they find me here, they could _kill_ you, Ellie. You 'n your kids. I can't let that happen."

"And what happens if you leave while this whole city is on lockdown?" Ellie challenges, "What if they find you?"

"They won't find me."

"You don't know that," Ellie snaps, pulling his hands away. Shaking her head, she sighs and turns away, "I've got to let the kids know they're not going to school."

Like with Jenny it's simply far too early to argue. Crosshairs, thankfully, says nothing else and lets her tread upstairs. Ellie refuses to meet his eyes for the rest of the day.

* * *

Crosshairs waits until it's dark. He should feel relieved that what he's about to do will spare this innocent family's lives, but there's nothing but a painful pull in his spark as he takes one last look at the human children who've kept him sane and the human woman who's kept him alive.

His holoform leans against her door frame. He watches her body rise and fall with her breaths. It comforts him that she's sleeping so peacefully. Before he realizes it he's entering the room and tucking a lock of soft blonde hair behind her ear, just so he can see her face one last time.

It's so tempting not to leave. He could stay here and live a quiet life while the world dives into chaos around them. It would be so easy to forget that he's a soldier, an Autobot. He'd be around when Ellie needs him to be. He could hold her in his arms again, will away her turmoil as she's done for him, and let the Earth revolve around them and them only.

But he can't. The risks are too high.

He quietly backs away, leaves her room and deactivates the holoform, unaware that her eyes open the moment he turns away.

Crosshairs rolls out from the garage and only manages to make it to the driveway when her quiet voice stops him in his tracks.

"Don't go."

He adjusts his side mirror. Ellie's standing on the porch, arms wrapped around her slightly shivering, petite body. For the briefest of moments he has an urge to reactivate his holoform and warm her with his embrace, tell her he's not going to leave, and place her back on her bed. But he suppresses that urge as quickly as it came and sinks on his tires. He can't stay. He can't.

"So this is how it's going to be," she says, narrowing her eyes, "Leaving without even saying goodbye?"

_If __I__ did that, I __wouldn't__ be able to leave._

He doesn't know what to say so he keeps silent. He's hoping Ellie will be angry and turn away, demand him to leave since he so desperately wants to. It'll be easier that way. But instead he feels her hand on the cold plating of his side and knows right away that Ellie isn't going to make it that easy. How is it possible that he's become so tightly bound by this human female?

_"Go back inside,"_ he says. She looks shocked only for a moment that his voice comes through his grille, but it's quickly overtaken by defiance that Crosshairs finds himself both loving and hating.

"No, I won't go back inside. I won't let you leave."

_"You __can't__ stop me."_

"Please stay, Crosshairs. At least until things calm down. They're checking vehicles, they're-"

"I _can't_ stay, Ellie," he says with more force in his voice. Ellie squeaks and turns around as his holoform activates just behind her. He comes closer, hesitates when he sees her back away, and sighs.

"I've lost everythin' already, doll," he reaches for her and she takes his hand, letting him pull her closer in a much more non-threatening way. Her skin is cold and her face is flushed, so he touches her cheek, "I can't lose what I have left. Not again."

She stares up at him, "Do you even know where you're going to go?"

"I'll figure it out."

"That's not good enough," she shakes her head, "If you leave now, Crosshairs, you will die."

"You told me if it came down to it, you'd choose your kids over me," Crosshairs says, his eyes growing hard, "What's stoppin' you now?"

"I'm not choosing you over my kids, I'm choosing to save your _life!_" Swatting his hand away Ellie grits her teeth, not even bothering to withold her frustrated tears, "I didn't spend all this goddamn time taking care of you, just to see you on the news next morning!"

Crosshairs looks away, hoping that by not seeing her he can muster up the strength to leave. But Ellie's hands reach up and cup his face, forcing him to look at her. At this woman who's so diligently gripped his spark and refuses to let go. This woman who's become his strength as much as she's become his weakness.

Ellie brings their foreheads together. They stay that way for a long time. Crosshairs closes his eyes, breathes in her sweet scent, and knows that he's been defeated.

"Stay, Crosshairs," she whispers, "Stay with us. Stay with me."

He stays.


	7. Chapter 7

It takes a few tense days, but the lockdown eventually begins to cease.

Ellie's not sure whether it's because of her prayers or just sheer luck, but no one's come to her home asking if she's seen any alienesque activity. Not yet, at least, but she only continues to hope and pray that it won't happen. There's still controversy floating around, mostly about the rumors that Cemetery Wind had been spotted being aided by a suspiciously sentient-like supercar, but as it would seem any and all footage of the James River docks incident had been compromised. Ellie hasn't found anything pertaining to a black Lamborghini in the N.E.S.T. files either.

Out of simple curiosity Ellie goes back to the website that still miraculously has the decrypted Autobot profiles. She searches through them until she finds a name she's had in her mind since Crosshairs had cried in her arms.

She finds Bluestreak's profile easily enough.

A gray Autobot with big, eager eyes stares back at her. His dimensions reveal that he was actually a little smaller than most Autobots. One of his most defining features for Ellie, however, are the door-shaped wings on his back. She only found three other Autobots on record with a similar feature.

_Extremely__ talkative_, is practically written all over his information. Ellie smiles a little. It's not hard to see that he was on the younger side, possibly with a mouth that ran faster than his mind. Her smile falters when she remembers that this innocent Autobot fell victim to DC, along with so many others.

The couch dips beside her. She looks over to see Crosshairs sitting down and glance at her screen. The look on his face is hard to decipher.

"I was just... curious," Ellie says, unsure if he's just been made upset again. But Crosshairs just tilts his head curiously, "Leaked files, eh?"

"Yeah, um," Scooting over, Ellie lets him have a better look at her laptop, "I guess right after DC, someone released everything N.E.S.T. had into the open internet. It was never determined who did it, though."

"N.E.S.T. operative, probably."

Ellie frowns, "You think someone from N.E.S.T. did it?"

Crosshairs shrugs, "N.E.S.T. had nothin' to hide. Leakin' everything'll only prove we never had a second agenda. Always used to get accused of that slag."

She nods. That does make sense. The best way N.E.S.T. could have proved its innocence was to give up everything it had. Leak all evidence before it could get destroyed and let the public see who the real threat is.

"Seems to be working. There's a lot of articles debating if N.E.S.T. really did attack, seeing as their files don't have any terrorist-like information." Ellie glances at him hopefully, "Who knows, maybe it'll be enough to put a stop to the Autobot manhunt."

Crosshairs huffs, "Doubt it."

"Don't give up hope. You never know," she says, reaching over and squeezing his forearm gently. He glances down, then looks over at her laptop again. He nods to it, "Blue's profile?"

Ellie nods, "Like I said, I was curious. You want a look?"

Crosshairs takes her laptop when she offers it. It's a little peculiar, knowing that he can just as easily tap into it all in his head, but Ellie figures that it simply isn't something he's willing to do on his own. After he skims through Bluestreak's profile he snorts, "Yeah. Kid did used to talk a lot."

"He didn't sound all that bad to me."

"Nah, he wasn't," there's a longing in his voice that makes Ellie's heart hurt. Crosshairs adds, "Never blamed the kid. He survived his home city gettin' destroyed by 'Cons, back on our planet."

Ellie's eyes widen, "What, really?"

Crosshairs nods. He points at the odd wing-like doors on Bluestreak's back that she'd noticed before, "See those doorwings? Means he's Praxian. When war broke out on Cybertron, the 'Cons targeted a city called Praxis. Killed thousands of Praxians. Bluestreak somehow survived, 'long with some others."

Ellie shakes her head, "That's awful. I can't imagine how terrifying that must have been."

Crosshairs nods slowly, "We figured that's why the kid talked so much. Talkin' kept him from thinkin' about Praxis."

Sensing his mood steadily dropping due to the subject, Ellie clears her throat and throws him a small smile, "It's got your profile here, too. Wanna see?"

He nods after a moment, so she clicks out of Bluestreak's profile and finds his own. Crosshairs scans over it with a thoughtful expression.

"You know, they said you're super snarky. And cocky. And generally just... kinda mean," Ellie remarks, "Doesn't sound like you at all, honestly."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, you've never really come across as 'snarky' to me. Or cocky. And you're so good with my kids," she shakes her head in disbelief, "It's like N.E.S.T. mixed up your profile or completely misjudged you, or something. This Autobot here definitely isn't the one sitting next to me."

Crosshairs stares at her for a moment, and then looks back to his own profile. After a moment he murmurs, "That was me. Before DC I wasn't exactly the... nicest 'Bot on base. Never really was of a social mech."

"I can see that," Ellie nods in understanding, "All caught up in your occupation, right? Didn't have time for anyone or anything other than your guns and the mission?"

"Somethin' like that," he nods. Handing her laptop back to her he goes on in a low voice, "Guess I just... changed. Ain't really anythin' to be snarky or cocky 'bout when everyone's dead."

She frowns as she takes it back. Crosshairs turns to the television with bored interest, and Ellie decides to leave the conversation at that.

* * *

_"So guess what?"_

"What?"

_"I've got a surprise for you this Christmas,"_ Jenny's voice is suspiciously cryptic over the phone, causing Ellie to raise a brow while she does the dishes, "Oh, really? And you're not going to tell me what it is, are you?"

_"Nope,"_ her sister says smugly.

"Not even a hint?" Ellie takes her phone and tucks it between her shoulder and chin so that she can use both hands to wash a pan. Jenny snorts in reply, _"No! That would take the surprise out of it! You'll like it though, I promise."_

"Why do I feel like you're gonna send me something either really nice or super weird?" Ellie mutters.

_"Guess you'll have to wait until Christmas to find out."_

Ellie shakes her head, hearing the back door open behind her. She glances behind her, knowing who it is already but certainly _not_ expecting what she sees, "You really are the worst Jen-"

Words fail on her immediately and in an embarrassing moment she simultaneously drops the dish in her hand and her phone in her shock. Clumsily her hands frantically try to catch both, all while her eyes are still glued to the completely unexpected image of Crosshairs's holoform. _Shirtless_.

Why in the world the Autobot is missing an article of clothing she has no idea. That's about as far as her thought process goes before she's openly gaping like a fish at Crosshairs's bare chest, toned arms and firm abdomen. It was never lost on her that Crosshairs is good looking, but she has to admit that whoever designed his human body... _Good Lord._

"Jesus, what..." she starts, but whatever she tries to say dies on her tongue and she's simply gaping at him again.

Crosshairs stands there awkwardly for a moment, then loosely gestures towards the cabinets beneath the sink, "Need a... trash bag. Or two."

"Oh-" quickly moseying off to the side Ellie snatches her phone and the dish off of the floor and turns away to desperately hide the furious blush on her face. She brings her phone back to her ear in time to hear her sister demanding,_ "Hello? Ellie? Did you just, like, die or something?"_

She sneaks a subtle glance at Crosshairs as he pulls a bag out of the box and closes the cabinet. _Pretty much._

"N-no. I just, uh, dropped my phone. Sorry," she babbles, forcing out a short laugh, "It slipped. I'm washing the dishes, so..."

_"Uh huh..."_ Jenny replies suspiciously. Ellie watches as Crosshairs leaves the house and releases a breath she doesn't realize she's been holding in. _"Why'd your voice get really husky?"_

"Oh, I am kind of catching a cold," Ellie answers quickly, clearing her throat, "Sorry about that."

Again Jenny utters an unconvinced hum, making Ellie bite her lip and hope her sister doesn't pry. Unfortunately she isn't so lucky and Jenny's next question nearly has Ellie dropping her dish again, _"Wait. It's a guy, isn't it?"_

"W-what? No-"

_"Oh my God, you stuttered. It's totally a guy!"_ Jenny exclaims,_ "There's a man in the house, isn't there? That's why you won't move here, it all makes sense!"_

Ellie sputters, "Jenny, please-!"

_"Dude, is he hot? He's kid-friendly, right? Why didn't you tell me you started dating again? What's his name-?"_

"Jen, for God's sake, I am not dating anyone!" Ellie protests, glad for once that Jenny isn't around to see her flushed face, "There's no guy here, I haven't started dating, end of story. Goodness."

_"Fine, I'll just sign you up for FarmersOnly then."_

"You better not!" Ellie hisses.

Her sister just laughs, _"Seriously though El, you've got to put yourself out there eventually. I know the whole Thomas thing screwed you over, and it shouldn't have, but that prick is out of your life now, for the most part."_

"Jenny..."

_"Don't be afraid, El,"_ Jenny says, _"They're not all like that."_

Ellie's suddenly reminded of the morning she awoke in Crosshairs's arms. She remembers his piercing eyes staring into her own and his hand on her face as she sits on the counter. _Don't be afraid._

"...I know, Jen," she says, glancing at the back door, "I know they're not all like that."

_"Good. One complete asshole shouldn't get to ruin the rest of your life. Don't let him, Ellie. You're stronger than that,"_ Jenny pauses then, and Ellie can hear Alex's voice in the background,_ "Hey listen, the hubby's calling for me so I've gotta split. I just wanted to call and tell you about our little Christmas surprise for you."_

"And by telling me you mean, casually mention it but refuse to say anything about it," Ellie says teasingly.

Jenny scoffs, _"Again, any hints will ruin it. Be patient! Anyways, I've gotta go."_

"Tell Alex I said hi!"

_"I will. Love you, sis,"_ Jenny says, then adds in a sing-song voice, _"And remember, 'you don't have to be lonely, at FarmersOnly-'"_

Ellie promptly hangs up before her sister can finish that God-awful song. Smiling to herself she sends Jenny a text.

**I ****literally**** hate you sometimes. **

**:) You know you love me sis. Ttyl!**

Sighing softly she stuffs her phone into her back pocket and washes the last of the dishes. With her curiosity getting the better of her Ellie turns to the back door and takes a deep breath, mostly to brace herself mentally for the sight she was just graced with earlier. Crosshairs is apparently up to something in the garage and she wants to find out what. And probably warn him to _not_ do that shirtless business when the kids are home.

It's a little chilly outside, which really only makes Ellie wonder even more why Crosshairs had decided to ditch half of his clothing. The answer, however, becomes a little more clear when she enters the garage. Almost instantly she's hit by a heat wave. The garage feels twenty degrees hotter than it does outside.

She finds Crosshairs's holoform leaned into the open hood of... himself. He's still very shirtless and Ellie can feel herself becoming very flustered again already. It's an odd sight, though. To anyone else it looks like a man casually working on his car, but Ellie knows that something more than that is going on, if Crosshairs's frowning face is anything to go by.

"My goodness, it feels like the sun is in here," Ellie says, coming closer.

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that," Crosshairs mumbles. He pushes himself out from his exposed components under the hood, pliers in hand, holding a gnarly piece of shrapnel. He promptly stuffs it into the trash bag he'd gotten earlier and turns back to his task, "Still some fraggin' shrapnel in me, under my armor. Couldn't get 'em out in bipedal form, so had to do this."

"Oh, okay. That doesn't really explain why it's super hot in here."

"Heat's from me," he says simply half his holoform's body still under the hood. Ellie frowns in confusion, decides to touch him, and pulls her hand back when his fender nearly burns her. It's as if he'd been left in a hot parking lot all day, "Oh, ouch! Why are you so freaking _hot_? Is this normal? Are you okay? Do I need-?"

Springing out from under his hood Crosshairs waves his greasy, oily hand to quell her questions, "Easy, doll. 'M fine, just regulatin' my core temperature, too. 'S normal for Cybertronians, we gotta do it sometimes since we ain't accustomed to Earth's weather changin' all the time. 'M just expellin' heat."

"Oh..." Ellie breathes a sigh, "Sorry for freaking out, I was just worried that you were, I don't know, malfunctioning?"

Crosshairs barks a laugh, which surprises her. She doesn't think she's heard him laugh so genuinely before. He grabs the roll of blue heavy duty paper towels on the floor nearby to wipe his holoform's hands and arms. Then he saunters over to her, still wiping his hands and sporting a completely sinful smirk. Ellie suddenly feels like she's in some sort of weird and cheesy film featuring a ridiculously handsome mechanic.

Her back grows very warm, but she's more focused on Crosshairs meandering closer until he's simply smiling down at her with an expression she's never seen on him before. She gets the sudden notion that _this_, right here, is a touch of how he was before DC.

"You're a sweet thing, you know that?" He says in a smooth tone. Then he grabs her arm and pulls her closer, making her squeak a little. She almost bumps into his chest. Crosshairs just grins, "Shouldn't lean on me right now. Wouldn't want you to get burned."

Ellie's palm pats her back, not having realized she'd even backed into him, "O-oh, yeah. Heh..."

A thumb brushes her cheek, "Look a little red there, doll. You good?"

"Yeah no, I'm fine, I just..." Ellie waves a finger at his holoform, "This... whole thing going on here just threw me off."

"Why's that?" He asks, genuinely curious.

"You don't have a freaking shirt on, for one!"

"Yeah, so?" Crosshairs tosses the used paper towel into the trash bag, "It's hot as the pit in here. Was startin' to sweat."

"...Your holoform sweats?"

Crosshairs wipes his brow and shrugs, "Apparently."

Ellie watches him return to his upturned hood. He yanks out another piece of shrapnel, turns back to her and says, "'M sorry, by the way. For uh, scarin' you in the house."

She shakes her head, "You didn't scare me Crosshairs, just... once again I was not mentally prepared for... seeing you like that."

"What's wrong with it, thought a lot of human males take their shirt off," Crosshairs muses. He looks vaguely amused at her visible discomfort.

"What? No, men don't just _take_ their shirts off-" Ellie pauses, thinks over her words and sighs, "Well -okay, yes they'll do it when they're working on something. Sometimes."

"Right so, what's the problem, doll?" He says with a smirk. At this point Ellie's well aware that the Autobot is teasing her. It's impossible that he's not aware that his image is distracting. He may be alien, but he's still very much a male. And she's very much a flustered female.

"...Nothing, nothing, forget it," Ellie waves her hands.

Crosshairs raises a brow, "Hold on-"

"-Oh, look it's almost three o' clock," Ellie pulls out her phone and shows it to him, "Looks like I've got to pick the kids up. Which, by the way, _please_ put something on when they're home, will you?"

"I'll do that," Giving up the topic Crosshairs smirks and returns to his task, calling out while she leaves, "I'll be here."

Ellie smiles and rolls her eyes.

* * *

After making sure both Charlie and Maddie have their homework done and helping them through it, both children practically leap from the living room and dash towards the back door.

"We're gonna hang out with Crosshairs!" Maddie calls.

"Hey, don't pester him too much, you two!" Ellie says and signs before they can take off to the Autobot in the garage, "He's working on... himself, so, give him space. You understand?"

Both of them nod. Then they give her a hug and thank her before her kids race each other through the backyard. Crossing her arms she smiles at them. If there's one thing she can appreciate about Crosshairs it's his never-ending patience with Charlie and Maddie. It's still bizarre to her that in N.E.S.T. he was hardly even tolerant of most humans, but now she's seen him let her kids touch him, ride in him, even hug him even though he has yet to reciprocate to those.

Ellie decides to do the mundane tasks while she's alone in the house. Laundry, vacuuming, bills, and she even calls up her job to see what the status report on that is. As it would seem, though, since the lockdown is still in place she won't be working anytime soon. Thank goodness for Thomas's hefty checks.

She's folding clothes in the living room and watching some live talk show when she hears a knock at the door.

Carefully getting up and approaching her front door Ellie tries to see through the window, but at the angle it's at she can't see very well. Only the vague shape of the person on the other side. She glances back, making sure Crosshairs hasn't snuck in like he sometimes does, and answers the door. The sight of a police uniform makes her breath hitch immediately.

"Good evening, ma'am," the policeman says, nodding in greeting. He's an older gentleman, with a beard and graying hair and just a little bit of a belly. Nothing about him screams 'suspicious' right away, but that doesn't ease Ellie's nerves any.

"I apologize for the disturbance. I'm Officer Dan Jenkins, local MPD," he shows her his badge and then goes on, "I'm here to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind."

"Questions...?" She squeaks.

He nods, "DC's recent lockdown has put you on edge, I'm sure. I'm simply here to inquire about anything pertaining to the Autobots. We are going door to door, trying to collect any information. In fact, I have some things that I would like to show you."

Ellie eyes the folder in his grasp. She then looks up at him and the officer asks, "May I come in?"

"I..." she glances behind her again, knowing very well what can happen in this situation. But refusing would shoot his own suspicions sky high. Swallowing the lump in her throat she puts on a smile and opens the door fully. "Y-yes, of course..."

_This is bad, Ellie, this is really bad_, she thinks to herself over and over. She hopes that she can get him in and out before any potential incident. She runs her hand through her hair and forces her breathing to be level, looking as inconspicuous as she possibly can. _Don't panic. Don't panic._

"Would you like a cup of coffee, sir?" She asks politely, "I have a warm pot in the kitchen."

Officer Dan smiles, "I'd love one, thank you."

Ellie leads him to the kitchen and grabs the pot, her eyes darting to the little window above the sink. The garage is closed up, thank goodness. As she pours the coffee into a cup he asks, "Have you seen anything unusual as of late, ma'am? Any vehicles you've come across that have behaved strangely?"

"No, no I haven't," she answers, keeping her voice calm and level. With a polite smile she sets the steaming cup on the island in front him and holds her hands together in front of her.

Officer Dan thanks her and takes the cup. He looks around, "Anyone else live here?"

"Yes. My two kids and..." Ellie hesitates, debating on if she should say anymore. Before she can think up an answer the back door opens and in comes her aforementioned kids, "Hey, Mom! We-"

Maddie as soon as she sees the policeman, her face falls instantly. Charlie comes in a moment later, pulling on the hand of the one Ellie had hoped wouldn't come back in. Had Officer Dan not been here, she would have been deeply touched and amused at the sight of her little boy holding Crosshairs's large hand. Instead, however, she's filled with dread as the Autobot lands eyes on the officer and stiffens.

For a moment no one says anything. Ellie sees Crosshairs's demeanor switch in seconds, going from passive to defensive in stance. It's so subtle that Officer Dan clearly doesn't notice, but Ellie sees that guarded brace of his shoulders, the slight clench of his jaw, and his sharp eyes zeroing in on the policeman. To anyone else he would simply look like a man wary of enforcement in his home. To her, he's a seasoned soldier identifying a threat and determining what he's going to in the next couple of minutes.

"Evening, sir," Officer Dan inclines his head civilly, "I'm just here to ask a few questions, if you don't mind."

"Questions 'bout what?" Crosshairs says. His voice is a whole octave lower and laced with a dangerous tone that only Ellie hears. Glancing between them nervously she gestures at Maddie, her daughter quickly slipping to her side. Charlie tries to move, but Crosshairs pushes him behind, shielding him and making it very clear that he's ready to protect her son.

Still oblivious to Crosshairs and his subtle hostility, Officer Dan sips on his coffee and looks between them, "Are you two...?"

"We're dating!" Ellie says immediately, "This is my... boyfriend."

"I see," the policeman nods and looks to Crosshairs again, "What's your name, son?"

Crosshairs doesn't reply right away, as is expected. He glances at Ellie, watches her lips as she mouths a name, and then answers in a tense voice, "Chris. Name's Chris... Harrison."

"Officer Dan Jenkins, local MPD," he extends his hand, which Crosshairs very hesitantly shakes with a weak smile. He then looks down at Charlie, who's clutching at Crosshairs's hand and partially hiding behind his long legs. The little boy knows something is clearly wrong and looks to his mother for help when the officer addresses him.

"Oh, he's deaf," Ellie says, signing as well, "He can't hear you. He's my son, Charlie."

"Ah," Officer Dan stands back up offering her son a small wave instead. Charlie only tucks himself further behind Crosshairs. He turns around to address the girls and Ellie holds her daughter's shoulders, "I'm Ellie Bowens. This is my daughter, Madison."

Maddie waves timidly, "Hi..."

"Pleased to meet all of you," taking one last sip before putting his coffee down Officer Dan takes the folder out from under his shoulder and places it on the island, "Again, I apologize for taking up your time, but I have a few pictures here. I just want you to tell me if you've seen any of these vehicles."

Ellie nods. Crosshairs looks like the human definition of a tight spring ready to snap, so she asks the officer while retaining her pleasant smile, "Okay. Do you mind if we settle the kids upstairs first before we do that?"

Officer Dan nods, "Of course."

"Thank you. We'll be right back," Ellie gently steers Maddie to the stairs and Crosshairs follows, Charlie's little hand still in his own. They all clamber up the stairs and as soon as they take her children to Maddie's room at the end of the hallway she whips around with big eyes, "Mom, why's he here? What-?"

"Shh, shh, it's okay. Just stay up here with Charlie, okay? We're just going to... answer some questions for the policeman," Ellie soothes, stroking Maddie's hair. She places a kiss on her forehead and then bends down to Charlie who's still glued to Crosshairs. She briefly signs the situation as simply as she can and kisses him, too, before coaxing him away from the Autobot and directing him into his sister's arms.

Once she exits the room she hears Crosshairs mumble tersely behind her, "Ellie..."

"Hey, look at me," turning to him she places her hands on his shoulders and runs them up and down, whispering, "You need to relax. Looking tense the whole time is _not_ going to help."

He growls softly, "I told you this would happen-"

"It's a local police officer, Crosshairs, not the damn CIA!" Ellie hisses, then stops before she grows too loud. Taking a deep breath she takes his hand and squeezes it, "He just wants to ask some questions. That's not too hard for you, is it?"

He shakes his head.

"Good, then let's go. Just follow my lead and stay calm. Everything will be fine."

She tugs, urging the reluctant Autobot to follow her downstairs and back into the kitchen where Officer Dan is standing patiently and finishing his coffee. Ellie puts on her polite smile again, "Sorry that took so long. My son didn't really understand what was happening."

"It's all right, ma'am," he says. She notices his eyes glance at their conjoined hands and hopes it looks convincing enough. Crosshairs seems to have noticed it too, because he lets go of her hand and instead places his palm on her lower back in what would look like an affectionate action. Ellie smiles up at him briefly and he smiles back, although it's a tentative one. But at least he's following her lead.

"As you both probably already know, we've had suspicious activity surrounding DC ever since the incident with N.E.S.T," Officer Dan explains while pulling open the folder, "There have been some reports of Autobot sightings within the last few weeks, and we're required to forward that information to the higher ups. These there are some photos of Autobots in their vehicle forms. We've cross referenced them with sighting descriptions."

Crosshairs shifts his weight. Ellie watches as the policeman takes out a couple images that she recognizes from the leaked Autobot profiles.

"So you're saying that... there's Autobots who escaped the base?" Ellie asks, genuinely curious. She glances at Crosshairs and sees that he, too, is surprised by what the officer had said.

"A fair number of them, yes. A couple of which have seen spotted in the area still. These are the Autobots who best fit the descriptions of suspicious vehicles that have been reported. Let's start with this one," Officer Dan pushes the first photo across the island towards them and Ellie takes it, "Have you seen this vehicle anywhere?"

It's a bright red Ferrari. Ellie's shakes her head right away, "Oh, definitely not. I barely see sports cars in this area, let alone an exotic."

Crosshairs pushes it back, "Nah. Haven't seen it."

He takes the imagine back and nods, handing them another, "How about this one?"

The next one is a light green Hummer. Ellie vaguely recalls the Autobot with that vehicle mode having a knack for throwing wrenches.

"Um, no I don't think I've seen this one either," Ellie says, handing it back. Crosshairs shakes his head as well.

"All right. Here's another one for you," he hands her the third photo and Ellie feels her breath leave her lungs for a moment. The next photo is of a pure white Nissan GTR.

_"Thank you..."_

_"Dre. __I'm__ Dre."_

"Ellie..." she feels a nudge on her shoulder and snaps into the present. She glances between Crosshairs, the picture, and the officer standing expectantly. She blinks and passes the picture back a little too quickly, "Sorry, no. Haven't seen it."

Officer Dan quirks a brow, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, yeah. I just... was trying to think if I've seen a white Nissan like that but," she throws her hands up and purses her lips, "Nope. Nothing comes to mind."

"What about you, Mr. Harrison?" He turns to Crosshairs, showing him the image one last time.

Crosshairs hums a negative, "Don't recall anythin' like that."

Officer Dan examines each of them for a short moment. Then he grunts and takes out the last photo. Ellie takes it almost eagerly, ready to deny it so that the policeman will leave. But she sees the red and blue color scheme and frowns right away. Sure enough, it's an older model Corvette. They know that Crosshairs has escaped.

"Weird colors for a car like that," she remarks, hoping the touch of humor will help keep the officer derailed. She hears Crosshairs suppress an offended snort while she shakes her head once again and slides the photo back, "Going to be another negative from us, officer. We haven't seen any of those cars."

"It's quite all right, ma'am. We don't expect everyone to. From what we understand about Cybertronians, they're very adaptable creatures," Officer Dan looks between them, "They're good at blending in."

"Crazy thing to think about, right?" Ellie lets out a curt laugh, but the more Officer Dan stares at Crosshairs, the more her nerves wear thin. With his eyes still on the Autobot's holoform he picks up the folder containing the pictures, "Well, in any case, thank you both for your time. And thank you for the coffee."

"You're welcome," Ellie takes the cup and places it in the sink. She sees Officer Dan walk to the front door and exchanges a relieved look with Crosshairs, who's shoulders gradually loosen as he relaxes. Scampering after the policeman, she's ready to send him off when he turns around.

"By the way, I'm curious. What year's that old 'Vette in your garage, Ms. Bowens?"

Ellie's blood turns cold, "O-oh, that old thing? I think it's, um..."

"It's a '94," Crosshairs says behind her. As they both turn to him he goes on in a surprisingly convincing tone, "Yeah, bought it in pieces as my own personal project. 'S got some kinks in it but I've got it runnin' for the most part."

"Yeah, Chris here has a knack for those classic cars. Right, hon?" Ellie smiles up at him, "That thing was just a wreck when you first got it."

Crosshairs attempts to smile back but it looks more forced than anything else. Luckily the policeman doesn't seem to notice it. He nods slowly and backs away to his car, "I see. Have a good night, you two."

Ellie waves and closes the door as Officer Dan drives away, bringing her forehead to the door with a light thud. She releases the breath she's been holding in and turns to Crosshairs, "You opened the garage so he can _see_ you?"

"I didn't fraggin' _know_ he was here," Crosshairs hisses back. His eyes dart to the door with a troubled look, "Frag, if I hadn't changed my paint..."

"The paint may not be enough," she remarks, remembering what Officer Dan had asked her, "If only you could change your model, too."

Crosshairs's eyes brighten right away at her comment. Whatever is on his tongue is put on hold, though, when he's suddenly bombarded with small arms around his waist. Charlie looks up at the Autobot with his big brown eyes full of worry. Bringing up one hand he signs, 'Gone?'

Smiling slightly, Crosshairs nods, 'Gone.'

When Charlie breaks away he's quickly replaced by Maddie. She's never hugged him before, so it's a surprise for everyone when her daughter embraces him. With one side of her face pressed against his stomach she says, "I was so scared that you were gonna be taken away!"

He crouches down so that he's at Maddie's level and tucks a strand of light brown hair behind her ear. It's the most affectionate action Ellie's seen him perform towards one of her children. Her pleasantly surprised smile grows even more when he signs what he says for Charlie, "Don't have to worry 'bout me. I ain't goin' anywhere."

Both of her kids beam. Ellie doesn't think she's seen them any happier than when they're with Crosshairs. He's so quickly become such an important figure in their lives that it's difficult to remember what it was like before him.

'Outside?' Charlie signs eagerly, and Crosshairs nods. Her little boy all but races to the back door. He turns to Ellie, frowns when he sees the tears and holds a finger to Maddie, murmuring, "One second."

Maddie nods and slips after her brother, leaving the two adults alone. Crosshairs grasps the woman's small shoulders and gently directs her to face him. He wipes a tear away, "What's wrong, doll?"

"Nothing, actually," Ellie chokes out out a chuckle and wipes her face, "It's just that... seeing you interact with my children. It makes me happy."

Crosshairs gazes at her unconvincingly, "You don't look happy."

"No trust me, I am. Tears of joy, I promise," she laughs again, then she looks up at him more seriously, "My kids have lived so long with no positive male figure, until now. You've been so good with them and they adore you and... again, it just makes me really happy. Thank you."

"'S no problem," he shrugs, his eyes averting to the back door with somewhat of a fond look, "They're good younglin's. Reminds me of... of how Blue was."

Ellie smiles sadly, and they stand there for and quiet moment until Crosshairs utters a strange noise and scrunches his face. Ellie raises a brow, "What was that all about?"

"...Charlie's huggin' my fender."

Ellie bursts into laugher with that image in mind. Tugging on his strong arms she inclines her head towards the back door, "Come on, then, before he starts climbing all over you."

* * *

Maddie wakes up that night to the sound of an engine. Climbing out from her bed she looks through her window to see a car slowly rolling down the driveway. Not just any car, though. She recognizes the dark shape and quietly slips downstairs as quickly as she can.

The cold night temperature bites at her delicate skin almost as soon as she opens the front door. It makes her shiver, so Maddie grabs the blanket hanging over the back of the couch and hastily wraps it around herself before she bolts outside. "Wait!"

Crosshairs slows to a stop as Maddie runs up to him. She frowns deeply and asks, "You're leaving us?"

The black Corvette reverses a little and Maddie reaches out to touch his window. It feels like he's humming beneath her fingers, and unlike a standard car he's warm to the touch.

_"There's somethin' I've gotta do, darlin',"_ he says, his voice rumbling and low.

"But you'll come back, right?" Maddie says with hope in her voice. Clutching her blanket with her fist she takes takes a step closer to his purring frame, "Please tell me you'll come back."

Crosshairs replies with no hesitation, _"I'll be back."_

"Promise?"

_"...I promise."_

Smiling a little and trusting his word, Maddie drops her hand from his window as he eases forward again._ "'S cold out here, younglin'. Go back inside, you hear?"_

"I will," Maddie says with a small nod.

_"Good girl,"_ he says, and then Crosshairs drives. The cool breeze bites at Maddie's flushed face but she stands there until the Autobot's red taillights fade into the night. As she heads back inside the young girl tries to push her worries away. He won't leave them, will he? He promised that he would come back. Maybe he won't be gone for very long at all.

Maddie clings to that promise for the rest of the night.

* * *

_**And thus, we're approaching the turning point in this story. Also, dad!Crosshairs is best Crosshairs and nothing will convince me otherwise. One of the things I enjoy most about writing this particular story is exploring the more tender, quiet side of him. It may seem OOC, but even tough guys can grow soft, especially considering what Crosshairs is trying to cope with. :)**_

_**Thank you all again for all the favorites and follows and reviews! **_


	8. Chapter 8

When Ellie wakes up early in the morning she treads downstairs for her cup of coffee. With the kids still out of school until DC calms down, she decides to let them sleep in for a bit. She's waiting on her pot to finish brewing when she glances through the living room and spots the front door cracked open.

With her face contorted in confusion Ellie abandons the kitchen to check on it. She opens the door to see her daughter sitting on the front steps, draped in a thick blanket.

"Maddie!" Ellie rushes outside without a thought to the freezing temperatures, kneeling down to grab Maddie's attention, "Honey, what are you doing out here in the cold? You'll get sick!"

"I was waiting for Crosshairs," Maddie replies innocently.

"Waiting for him?" Ellie frowns, "What do you mean, sweetie?"

"He left last night and-"

"Crosshairs left?" Ellie says in mild alarm. Maddie nods affirmatively. The woman shakes her head for a moment and decides to prioritize the issue at hand, "Here, come inside, sweetie. I don't want you out here. We'll talk about in the kitchen, okay? I'll make you some hot chocolate."

Ellie brings her daughter inside, frowning when she sees that Maddie only has her pajamas on underneath the blanket. Her daughter's face isn't very red though, telling her that Maddie probably hasn't been outside for very long. A good thing.

Maddie sits at the island while her mother prepares some hot chocolate along with her brewing coffee. Ellie glances through the window, and frowns again at the sight of the open, empty garage. So he's finally done it. Left without saying goodbye. Goodness, how is she going to break this to Charlie?

"How long were you out there, Maddie?"

"Not very long," her daughter shrugs, "Maybe a few minutes? I couldn't sleep, so I wanted to wait for Crosshairs to come back."

Ellie looks over her shoulder, "Did he tell you he's coming back?"

"He promised."

She turns back to the coffee machine, internally cursing that Autobot. _Big bastard better not break his __promise__ and devastate my kids._

"He said that there's something he had to do," Maddie goes on, "I don't know what, though. Maybe he wanted to take a drive? He does that sometimes."

"I don't know, sweetheart, but if he promised you he's coming back then we're going to have to count on it," Ellie says, determined to keep a positive attitude for the sake of her daughter. With a smile she places a hot cup of hot chocolate in front of Maddie, "Now drink this, it'll help you warm up."

Charlie wakes up at around ten in the morning. As usual he's a little drowsy for the first half hour. Crosshairs still isn't home, so Ellie struggles not to let her sadness show when her son looks up from his cereal and signs with big pleading eyes, 'Outside soon?'

Forcing a smile Ellie slowly shakes her head, 'Too cold right now... C-r-o-s-s-h-a-i-r-s is taking a drive.'

Charlie's face falls a little bit but he nods in understanding and continues to eat. By noon he's asking when their Autobot guest is coming back, and each time Ellie has to sign to him to be patient and that she isn't sure when he's coming back. Each time she can see him growing sad and her heart clenches. Maddie is almost always watching the living room window.

Ellie realizes now just how much Crosshairs has become integrated into their lives. For weeks now he's stayed here, kept her kids and herself company, and even made her feel safer than she ever had before. Maybe that's because he's an Autobot, and they're sworn protectors by nature. In any case it's beginning to feel more and more empty without him around.

It's sometime in the afternoon, while Ellie is watching the news and Charlie is playing with Legos on the floor, that Maddie suddenly squeaks in delight. She's hopping in place and declaring, "He's back! Mom, he came back!"

Ellie doesn't even have the chance to sit up before her daughter is tearing the front door open. Maddie more wisely grabs her thick winter coat on the nearby coat hanger this time and runs outside while still trying to put it on.

_Goodness, __I__ swear __she's__ going to get sick,_ she muses. But as she gets up she can hear the sound of a car engine roaring into her driveway. It sounds... much louder than she remembers.

Charlie's seen his sister's excitement and Ellie knows she isn't going to be able to keep him inside either, so she stuffs him into his own winter coat before grabbing her own and following Maddie outside. Her eyes widen at the sight before her.

Maddie is laughing in joy as the black Corvette quiets down into something like a purr and rolls into her, gently bumping her knees. Maddie splays her palms over the hood, "I knew you'd come back! I knew it!"

Charlie elicits a rare noise of pure happiness too, taking off like a bullet and plastering himself into the Corvette -the shiny, brand new, 2014 Corvette.

If a car could look happy, Ellie thinks Crosshairs best represents that in this moment. She's not sure how but he looks quite content with a couple of human children practically all over him. Ellie's head is reeling that she's no longer looking at a '98 Corvette and ushers her kids to give him space as she walks off of the front porch, "Crosshairs? What did... how did you...?"

He backs away a few feet and then transforms. The previous shape of his body has been long abandoned and Ellie feels like she's not looking at the same Autobot who's lived with them for so long. His shape is more lithe; tall and lean like his holoform. His broad torso narrows down into a similarly narrow waist -which now adorns what Ellie can only determine is a... metallic trenchcoat?

"...This is Crosshairs I'm looking at, right?"

He laughs, a familiar gritty voice that confirms that this is her same Autobot. Crosshairs kneels down and Ellie can't help but to stare at the coat as it bends easily like it's truly some sort of fabric. The kids rush to him eagerly and grab onto his fingers as he lowers his hand to them.

"Whoa," Maddie beams, "You look awesome!"

"So this what you went out to do, huh?" Ellie says, crossing her arms with amusement, "Car shopping?"

Crosshairs nods, "Figured after the officer thing... needed a better cover. Took me all fra-freakin' night, but 's better to make sure I ain't recognizable, y'know?"

"...Where did you even find a brand new Corvette to turn into?"

"Chevy dealership," Crosshairs answers as if it's the most obvious answer in the world. Ellie blinks, then simply decides not to ponder on how exactly Crosshairs broke into a dealership without anyone seeing. The important thing is that he's here.

"You've gotta let us ride in you!" Maddie hops excitedly, "Please, can we go for a ride?"

"Maddie..." Ellie begins, but Crosshairs transformers again before she can finish. His doors pop open and his engine revs.

_"What're we waitin' for?"_

Ellie sighs, but smiles as she watches her kids eagerly climb into the black Corvette. She's never been much of a car person, but even she has to admire the sleek shape of Crosshairs's newer model. The Autobot revs his engine again and inches towards her, obviously urging her to join them. Ellie shakes her head in amusement but eventually walks over the climbs into the passenger's seat.

"Do you know where we're going?" She asks as he buckles in.

"Nope," he answers, his holoform sitting in the driver's seat, "Just wanna drive for a while."

Maddie leans forward between their seats, "Can we go to the park? We haven't been there in forever."

Ellie hesitates at that. Technically it's open, since things have calmed down regarding the James River docks attack. There's nothing that says they can't go there -other than the fact that they have an Autobot to cover for. And that the local park is only an hour or so away from where N.E.S.T.'s destroyed headquarters are. She doesn't think bringing Crosshairs so close to that area after having survived it is a good idea.

But Crosshairs just shrugs his shoulders, "Fine by me. Gonna be a couple hours to get there, though."

Ellie touches his arm, concern filling her, "Are you sure? I don't know if that's... you know, after what happened..."

He shakes his head, "'S fine. Won't bother me."

"Okay..." she decides not to push it. If he feels comfortable enough to drive somewhat close to where he'd nearly died, then so be it. It's not as though they're going to see the headquarters. It's far enough from where they're going.

Crosshairs's holoform is glancing at her in the driver's seat. Ellie smiles, but her eyes rake over him and she frowns. He's wearing the default clothing that she normally sees him in -dark green T-Shirt, jeans and black boots. Not the type of clothing one would be wearing during winter.

"Um, wait, one second. Before we go-" Ellie climbs out and runs back into the house. It's a good thing she does. She grabs her purse and her phone, since it's been established that they're actually going on a trip, before she goes upstairs and into her room. She rummages through the back of her closet until she finds the box she's looking for.

A few minutes later she plops back into Crosshairs, sighs, and slaps a brown men's leather coat into his lap, "Put that on."

Crosshairs fumbles with it, caught off guard, "What, why?"

"Because if we're going out into public, you'll need to look as inconspicuous as possible," Ellie explains, twirling a finger at him, "And wearing nothing but a t-shirt in forty-something degree weather isn't going to help."

He eyes the coat for a moment, then grunts and slips it on. Ellie tries hard not to think about how good it looks on him. Especially since that coat once belonged to someone she would rather not think about. She had been meaning to take that entire box to donate somewhere, but with Crosshairs around maybe she'll keep it.

As he pulls and adjusts it she asks, "Does it fit okay?"

"Think so," he nods affirmatively, but Ellie can see when he zips it that the coat hugs him just a little tightly. Not enough to be uncomfortable, but enough to emphasize his holoform's well built frame in a way that Ellie really wishes it wouldn't.

She sighs, "Good. I have a box of... of my ex's clothes that he'd left behind years ago. You're a little bigger than him, so I was a worried it wouldn't fit. Oh-! And, here-"

Ellie pulls out a pair of dark aviators and hands them to him, "Put those on, too."

Crosshairs raises a brow.

"...It's to hide your eyes."

"'S wrong with my eyes?"

"Nothing, Crosshairs. I just don't want to take any chances."

His gaze flicks between her and the sunglasses a few times before he puts them on without a word of protest. Ellie struggles to hide her amusement as he blinks a few times, clearly never having worn the accessory before. Maddie peaks her head between them, "I think they make you look super cool."

Ellie laughs and she catches Crosshairs smiling too as they pull out of the driveway and towards the local park.

The first hour of the drive is mostly quiet. Charlie and Maddie are sharing the tablet Ellie had nabbed before they left and Ellie herself stares through the window while Crosshairs's holoform keeps up the illusion that he's driving, well, himself.

The silence begins to eat at her, though. With a glance to his holoform Ellie asks, a little shyly, "Hey, uh, is it okay if I turn on the radio?"

Crosshairs shrugs, "Sure."

The radio turns on abruptly, startling her. Goodness, it's easy to forget sometimes that Crosshairs is both the man beside her _and_ the car itself. Almost immediately, the radio blares on a news channel that, as usual, is discussing DC, N.E.S.T., and the Autobots. Ellie quickly turns the dial. She catches his holoform stiffening just slightly but he says nothing.

For the last bit of the drive Ellie idly messes with the radio until she settles on a channel playing older music. Crosshairs's holoform shifts uncomfortably every now and then and finally Ellie asks, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just..." he looks at her, seemingly unsure of how to put his response, "Ain't really used to... bein' messed with. Feels weird."

"Oh-" she stops fiddling with the radio, having completely forgotten that he's able to feel everything she does, "Sorry, I kind of forgot... about that."

Crosshairs huffs in amusement, "'S fine, just not used to humans in my cab."

"Really?" She raises a brow, "You never, like, transported soldiers on missions and stuff?"

He shook his head, "Some 'Bots didn't like 'fleshies' enough to carry 'em around. I was, uh, one of those 'Bots. Didn't used to like the thought of a bunch of humans squrimin' around in my cab."

Ellie frowns, "Oh... I mean, if you don't want us riding in you-"

"Doll, if I didn't want it, I wouldn't have offered. Stop worryin'," Crosshairs says, shaking his head in exasperation. Ellie smiles bashfully and looks away, "Sorry, I do that a lot."

"I noticed," Crosshairs says. They exchange a glance at each other, Ellie softly blushing and Crosshairs finding the pink dust to her cheeks simply endearing. At that thought he looks to the road again, trying his best to ignore the strange feeling in his spark, and what it could mean.

* * *

The park is a comfortable balance between 'not crowded' and 'not completely empty'. There's a considerable amount of people walking around despite the cooler temperatures but it's not too overrun like it usually is when they come here during the summer.

Ellie and Crosshairs follow the paved path that wraps around the park's frozen lake. Maddie and Charlie are close by, playing tag with some other children in the field. It doesn't escape Ellie how Crosshairs consistently looks their way, monitoring where Charlie and Maddie are at all times. On top of that she catches him turning his head every so often, undoubtedly keeping track of the people around him. She wonders whether his paranoia is because of DC, because he's a soldier, or simply because it's his personality.

"Hey," she nudges him, "Relax, big guy. No one here is out to get you."

He huffs and stuffs his hands into his coat pockets, "Sorry. Force of habit."

"I figured," Ellie smiles. She sees a bench and decides to pull him over to it, urging the restless Autobot to sit down with her. They watch the children run around for a quiet moment, then Ellie turns to him and asks, "So... on your home planet, did you guys ever have places like these? Parks? Social gatherings?"

Crosshairs seems momentarily put off from the sudden question, but he hums in thought and nods slowly, "Kind of. Depended on the city. Some were more military oriented. Others, more like cities on Earth. We had public areas, for the most part. Marketplaces, academies, clubs, transportation, streets..."

He trails off when Charlie falls over in the grass. He's laughing, though, which puts them both at ease. Ellie nods as she watches him scramble up and chase another little boy, then glances back at Crosshairs. She notices that he seems to be more at ease when talking about home, so she decides to continue on the topic, "What city are you from?"

"Iacon," he answers, still watching the children, "Was one of the biggest cities on Cybertron. Became the Autobot's capital city when the war started..."

A soccer ball comes flying their way. Ellie squeaks and jerks away as it smacks the back of the bench in the space between them. Her startled eyes fly to the older kids who had been playing with it. Maddie laughs among them, "Sorry, Mom!"

"It's okay," she says, laughing it off. She turns and sees Crosshairs failing to suppress a smile and smacks his shoulder, "Hey, I almost lost my head, you dingus!"

"Right," he says, amused. He picks the ball up and tosses it back to the kids. After a moment he leans forward and watches them with a thoughtful, almost longing expression, "I, uh, lived in the outskirts of Iacon. Small town area, wasn't too crowded. There was this empty sector that younglin's used to mess around at." He exhales in amusement as he recalls the memory, "Used to yell at 'em to get lost. Always were too loud behind our shop."

Ellie smirks as she tries to imagine such a scene, "You sound like the grumpy old man who lived on the corner."

"Nah, that was my sire," Crosshairs says with a short chuckle, "Old fragger was scarier than I'll ever be. Always sent everybot runnin'."

"Sire is your dad, right?"

Crosshairs nods, "We got sires 'n carriers. Sire's the one who, y'know, sired. Carriers are the ones who gestated."

Ellie nods, trying to understand the Cybertronian terminologies. She tilts her head, "So does that mean your carrier was, like, your mom? Since she's the one who... 'gestated' you?"

Crosshairs looks at her with another entirely amused smirk. She's not sure what he finds so funny but it becomes clear when he replies, "Kinda. 'Cept my carrier was a 'he', doll."

Ellie blinks, "...Oh. So you're saying..."

He leans back against the bench, seeming very entertained by Ellie trying to wrap her head around it. "My creators were both mechs. Don't matter if we're mechs or femmes, all Cybertronians have gestation chambers."

"Wow, that's actually really intriguing," Ellie says with a curious tilt of her head. It hasn't come across her how Cybertronians handle reproduction and how different it is. It's odd imagining that Crosshairs is technically just as capable of 'conception' as a female of his kind, but she supposes as human, such a concept is naturally usual for her. Human males definitely can't do that.

"...I guess sexual orientation isn't really an issue for you guys then, is it?"

Crosshairs shakes his head, "Not like it is for you fleshies. Femmes are rare, 's almost more natural to see mechs together."

Ellie hums thoughtfully, "A society where no one judges each other for who they want to love. Sounds nice. In fact, your culture in general sounds much more functional than our own, in all honesty."

"Not really," he says with a slight frown, "We destroyed our own planet."

Ellie reels, "You what? Really?"

"Wouldn't be on Earth otherwise," he says in a more serious tone. He looks away and watches the children. Ellie suddenly feels horrible for even mentioning his home planet. War is a universal language, it seems, and the fact that it's what destroyed Crosshairs's home makes it all the more saddening. He really, truly, has lost everything.

She takes his hand in her own and says softly, "I'm sorry, Crosshairs. I... never realized just how much you've lost."

"...Y'know, Prime always told us that there ain't no victory without sacrifice. That sometimes we've gotta lose in order to win," Crosshairs pulls his aviators off and examines them idly. His blue eyes are stunning in the daylight. He meets her gaze, "'M just tryin' to remind myself of that. DC, N.E.S.T, Bluestreak... they've gotta be gone for a reason."

"Having faith," she mumbles, "That's a good way to look at it."

"'S the only way I can look at it," Crosshairs slips the aviators back on before looking to her again, "'M centuries old, doll, 'n I'm a soldier. I've lost a lot even before this slag. Lost my home town to a bunch of fraggin' 'Cons. Lost both creators to a spark defect. Lost my planet to war. Lost more comrades than I could count in all the fightin'. Loss ain't anything new to me, but this is the first time I felt... I dunno, _alone_."

"You're not alone, Crosshairs," Ellie says immediately. Without a second thought she gently squeezes his hand, still held in her own, "I know it may feel like that, and I know I'm just some little human woman who's letting you live in her garage, but I'm here. I may not be able to understand things the way you do, but if you ever need to, you can talk to me. Remember that, okay?"

He hesitates for a moment and glances down at his hand in hers. A little awkwardly, Ellie lets go, not having realized how intimate it looked. She fights the rush of blood to her face as he looks at her and gives a sort of half-smile, "Can't say I'm much of a talker but... thanks, doll."

Ellie nods silently and turns back to the children, just in time to see a nearby older woman walking a rather large German Shepard. The canine zeroes in on Charlie as the little boy falls to the ground with the soccer ball in his lap and lunges, tearing itself free from its owner and sprinting across the field.

Surging to her feet in blind panic, Ellie scrambles to run to her son. But Crosshairs beats her to it, launching off of the bench so quickly that he's practically a flash. Within seconds the Autobot reaches Charlie, who in turn jumps right into Crosshairs's arms and clings to his holoform with terrified eyes. Crosshairs holds her son up and away as the dog comes charging for them.

Only, the Shepard doesn't attack them and instead eagerly goes for the fallen soccer ball in front of them, tail wagging happily.

"I am so sorry!" The woman says, running over. She grabs her Shepard's leash and hauls him back to her. The dog whines and tries to reach the soccer ball, only for the woman to scold it and force it to sit beside her, "This beast has a thing for soccer balls. My granddaughter plays soccer and she always brings one when she visits me, so now my dog is completely obsessed with them. I promise he's a good boy, wouldn't hurt a fly."

Pleasantly relieved by the older woman's words, Ellie just nods while she reaches up to rub her son's back. Charlie is still holding tight to Crosshairs and stares at the panting Shepard warily, like he's expecting the animal to lunge at him at any second. Crosshairs is also staring at the canine with a distrustful frown.

"It's okay. My son is just afraid of big dogs," Ellie says.

"Yeah, I don't blame him. Buddy here looks mean, but like I said, he's very friendly," the woman scratches Buddy's ears for a moment and then smiles kindly at Crosshairs, "Good thing his daddy was so quick! I don't think I've ever seen someone move that fast. Paternal instinct is powerful, isn't it?"

Crosshairs glances unsurely at Ellie, who doesn't seem to know what to say in response. The woman goes on, saying something that has the two of them reeling even further.

"You know, your boy looks a lot like you. How lovely. My kids never looked much like my husband and I. Oh, well," the woman laughs to herself while both Ellie and Crosshairs look at Charlie, confused. Ellie supposes there's some resemblance, through tan skin complexion and brown hair, but Crosshairs definitely has sharper facial features and lacks curly hair, not to mention his bright blue eyes under the sunglasses, which are a stark contrast against Charlie's dark brown eyes.

"He's not, uh..." Crosshairs mumbles, then simply pulls his aviators off of his face, "...mine."

"Oh, I see. Step daddy, then?" The woman smiles, "Either way, I can tell you must make a great father. Especially with how quickly you reacted. That's nice, these days the kids don't always have such good parents, you know?"

If the woman notices the completely bewildered looks on their faces, she doesn't take notice. Ellie isn't sure if she should be amused by the look on Crosshairs's face or uncomfortable with the fact that this woman is assuming that she and Crosshairs are a couple. She supposes that his quick reaction with the Shepard doesn't help to quell that image, but Ellie would be lying if she said that she isn't touched by how quickly the Autobot rushed to save her child from potential danger.

As it would seem, the older woman, who's introduced herself as Meredith, sticks around for a little while longer. She's nice enough and Ellie doesn't mind idle conversation with the kind woman. Meredith manages to convince Charlie that Buddy most certainly isn't going to eat him, and after a little coaxing from Ellie, he lets go of Crosshairs and soon enough is playing with the happy canine with the soccer ball. The other kids, as well as Maddie, join him in playing with Buddy.

At one point, though, Ellie glances at Crosshairs standing off to the side and hears Meredith chuckle lightly. The older woman leans over and murmurs, "I must say, you have yourself one _very_ handsome man over there."

Ellie sputters, "O-oh, well... we aren't... he isn't..."

Meredith waves her hand, "Oh honey, I get it. I didn't see any rings, so I figured it's not official. Hopefully soon though, right?" She nudges Ellie and winks. Ellie finds herself at a complete loss of words and struggles to fight the blush rising to her face. She _really_ hopes that Crosshairs isn't close enough to overhear any of this.

"Uh, well..."

"Is he active duty?" Meredith asks, watching Crosshairs curiously, "He strikes me as military."

Ellie fumbles with her reply, "He was. Recently he, uh... retired."

"He won't be having to leave you anytime soon then, huh? How lovely," Meredith chuckles, "I can see the soldier in him. He keeps close watch on everything around him. Watches your kids closely, too. He looks a little tense."

Ellie nods, "I know. He's... well, he's been through a lot."

"Oh, I'm sure. The poor thing. Our soldiers sacrifice so much to protect us. I can't imagine what he's experienced," Meredith shakes her head, but nudges Ellie again and smiles, "But he has you. That's important. You do me a favor and hold on to him, you hear? A man like him needs a woman like you in his life."

Ellie glances unsurely at her.

"Take care of him, honey. You just might be the best thing that's ever happened to him." Meredith holds up her hand, "Take it from an old lady who used to be an army wife."

Not knowing what to say, Ellie smiles and nods silently. She admires Meredith for being a former military wife, knowing that there are a lot of hardships to such a relationship. She glances at Crosshairs, who meets her eyes with a short gaze before turning back to the children. Even if they aren't exactly in the same boat, Ellie realizes that she very well may miss his presence when he leaves... if he leaves.

"Anyways, I think it's time for me to head on home. Buddy's gotten the exercise he's needed. I've got to brush that big doofus, too," Meredith offers her hand with a pleasant smile and Ellie takes it politely, "It was nice meeting you, Meredith. I'm Ellie."

Meredith then turns to Crosshairs, who had sidled up beside Ellie without her realizing. He pauses momentarily when the older woman extends her hand to him as well, but he shakes it. Meredith asks, "And what's your name, dear?"

"Chris," he replies, sounding a lot more confident with that name than he did with the officer. Meredith repeats the name and says, "Well, it's been nice meeting you too, Chris. Miss Ellie here was telling me how you recently retired."

"Oh..." he casts her a short glance, in which Ellie just weakly smiles and hopes he goes along with it. Crosshairs nods after a moment, "Yeah... would've stayed in longer but, uh... kinda had to leave."

"That's too bad. How long did you serve? And what branch?"

Ellie clenches her jaw at the questions, but she's surprised to see Crosshairs just smile a little and answer them calmly, "'Bout twenty years. Enlisted as soon as I could, back when I was still a young 'un. Was in the infantry. Sniper unit."

Meredith makes a noise of appreciation. The way Crosshairs speaks gives Ellie the notion that he isn't straying too far from the truth. The older woman takes his hand suddenly and squeezes it. He frowns unsurely until Meredith only continues to smile and says, "Well, thank you for your service, Chris. You soldiers don't get enough credit these days. Bless your heart. I wish you a peaceful retirement."

Even if it's clear Meredith doesn't know just what kind of soldier he is, the fact that he's being thanked for what he's done throws Crosshairs in for a loop. He doesn't think he's ever been so graciously thanked for his services and it touches him in a way he isn't sure how to comprehend. Gratitude is something he hasn't even experienced on Cybertron. At a short loss of words, he mutters a simple, "Thanks..."

After bidding the nice woman a farewell, Meredith retrieves her happily panting dog and lets the kids say goodbye to him before she goes on her merry way. Ellie watches her go, humming thoughtfully, "Nice older lady, isn't she?"

Crosshairs raises a brow and glances down at her, "Retired, eh?"

"I didn't know what to say, okay?" She huffs, crossing her arms, "At least you handled that pretty well." She takes one look at the Autobot's slightly smug expression and deflates as she realizes, "You... heard that entire conversation, didn't you?"

Crosshairs smirks, "Maybe."

"Right, of course you did," Ellie sighs. She can feel her face heating up just wondering what he thought of Meredith so confidently giving her advice on him. She's saved, luckily, by Charlie and Maddie coming over breathless, ready to go back home. Ellie can feel the temperature dropping as it gets later into the day and promptly decides it is indeed time to leave.

They make it to where Crosshairs is parked when Ellie realizes there's someone standing next to the black Corvette. It's a man, smaller in stature, sporting red leather and sunglasses. It's not uncommon for people to admire a sporty car, she figures, but one look at Crosshairs's stiff holoform is evidence enough that he doesn't appreciate being stared at. Ellie's just very glad that he's painted over the Autobot insignia on his grille, otherwise they might have been in trouble.

"Um... hi," she says, waving to grab the man's attention. He looks their way, smiles kindly, and removes his sunglasses. Ellie is met with white teeth and gleaming cerulean eyes. His stylized dark hair and olive skin give her the immediete notion of foreign wealth.

"Hello, I was just marveling at this fine vehicle here," he says, with a strong Italian accent. He tilts his head curiously, "Is it yours?"

Ellie glances unsurely at Crosshairs before answering, "Uh, yeah, it's ours. We were just leaving, actually..."

"Ah. I will not hassle you then," the man says, still smiling. His eyes dart over to Crosshairs behind her, roaming up and down his tall form before remarking, "I do hope you didn't mind me staring."

Crosshairs says nothing in reply, only frowns and gazes intently at the stranger. Ellie, oblivious that the man was most likely talking to him, simply waves her hands while she helps her kids climb in, "Oh, it's no problem. Have a nice day, sir."

He nods, and moves to leave. As he passes Crosshairs, though, the man grabs his arm, tugs him down, and whispers, "_Careful, my friend. __Disguises_ _don't__ last."_

Almost immediately Crosshairs hisses and jerks away. He turns to growl at the man, only to find that he is already gone.

"The frag-?" Crosshairs whirls around for a moment, but he sees no sign of red leather, no sign that the Italian man had been here at all. He's momentarily so unsettled that he doesn't hear Ellie calling his name. He only comes to his senses when she comes over and touches his shoulder.

"Crosshairs? Hey, what's wrong?" She asks. He doesn't respond for a moment, continues to look around with sharp eyes, then finally looks down at her. "You saw that, yeah?"

"Saw what?"

"That guy, he..." Crosshairs trails off, "...disappeared."

Ellie frowns, "I'm pretty sure he just walked off, Crosshairs. He said he didn't want to hassle us-"

Crosshairs shakes his head, tearing his aviators off, "No. He was _right_ fraggin' here. Swear to Primus, he just fraggin' vanished-" he stops, coming to a sudden realization. He knows, he _remembers_ someone capable of doing just that. Appearing and disappearing without a trace. He glances back behind him, where the man had once been.

"That _sneaky_ glitch."

Ellie reels, "I'm sorry, what?"

"...Nothin' doll," he mumbles, pushing her towards the passenger's side, "Time to go."

The drive home is silent. And it's not the comfortable type of silence. Ellie can see the change in mood, the way Crosshairs's holoform sits stiffly with his face slightly contorted in indecipherable emotion. Part of her wants to pry, but the other part says that maybe that's not a good idea with the kids in the backseats. Eventually, though, she decides to try starting off with a soft inquiry.

"Are you okay?"

He clenches the wheel for a moment. Crosshairs purses his lips, as if deciding whether or not he wants to answer. He nods a little, "'M fine."

Ellie sits up, "Are you sure? You seem... troubled."

This time he looks over at her, a slight frown pulling at his mouth. He exhales through his nose and slowly looks back to the road, even though he probably doesn't need to, "Don't wanna talk about it. Not right now."

'Not right now' probably means 'not in front of the kids', Ellie muses. They're seemingly asleep in the back but she knows that Crosshairs usually opens up the most when it's just the two of them. With that in mind she absentmindedly nods, but touches his arm gently, "Okay. But just remember what I told you."

Crosshairs just nods and falls silent again.

"Also... I want to say thank you. For what you did with Charlie earlier," Ellie says, "If Buddy hadn't been a nice dog and you hadn't gotten to him as quickly as you had, I can't even imagine what could have happened. Even though he wasn't really in any danger, I appreciate what you did, Crosshairs. Thank you."

He hesitates for a moment, and it becomes clear to Ellie right then that being thanked really _isn't_ something Crosshairs has experienced all that much, which is both a sad and infuriating revelation. He shrugs and murmurs, "'S no problem. Didn't want the kid to get hurt, 's all."

Ellie frowns as she briefly recalls what he's experienced prior. She remembers the way Crosshairs launched to her child's aid and has a vague notion that such an instinct could only be instilled through loss. The memory of Crosshairs in her arms, mourning into her shoulder flashes by her mind.

"That's wasn't the only reason you rushed to save my son, was it?" The question leaves her mouth before she can stop to think about whether that's dangerous territory or not.

If Crosshairs is bothered by it, though, he doesn't show it. In fact, he gives no initial reaction to her question at all. Just when Ellie thinks she's not going to get an answer, she hears him say in an uncharacteristically small voice, "No, it wasn't."

Nothing else is said after. At some point though, Ellie reaches over and places her hand on his forearm resting on the center console, squeezing it gently in silent support. By the halfway point, he takes her hand and squeezes back.

By the time they reach home, their fingers are interlaced.

* * *

As the sun sets and her kids are settled down, Ellie sighs as she hangs up her phone. Still no word from her boss. She hopes that she won't be having to look for a new job soon. With her finger tapping idly on the back of her cell phone, she glances into the kitchen, where Charlie and Maddie are coloring. Crosshairs is in the garage, since he evidently wasn't in the best mood when they returned home. Off-handedly bringing up Bluestreak probably wasn't the smartest thing Ellie had done.

Just when she has the urge to get up and go see her sulking Autobot, the doorbell rings. Ellie furrows her brows in confusion. It's a little late to have guests. Her mind flies immediately to the policeman who had come by prior and she has to close her eyes to calm herself. No, it can be anybody.

The doorbell rings again, summoning Ellie to finally get up and answer it. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and remedies herself into a calm state before opening the door.

Ellie's face drains of color the moment she sees the face on the other side of the door. Her instincts scream at her to slam it in his face, lock it, and grab the shotgun but in this moment she feels frozen in place. Her mouth falls open and her body is overtaken by fear-driven tremors, as if the devil himself has come to her front door.

"Thomas?" She squeaks.

* * *

_**Well... it can't all be sunshine and rainbows, can it? ;)**_

_**There's no canon information to go off of when it comes to Crosshairs pre-war, so I'm going pure headcanon with him, including assuming he's Iaconian. I see him as the classic 'daddy's boy' kind of mech, who mostly likely followed his sire into enlisting as a soldier and was probably taught to shoot about as soon as he learned to walk. His family unit probably has a long lineage of veterans. :)**_

_**Reviews are loved and appreciated! Don't kill me yet! **_


	9. Chapter 9

The very man who's caused her nightmares and fears for years shifts on his feet uneasily. He looks more or less like how she remembers him -tan complexion, brown hair, brown eyes and standing at somewhere close to six feet. Fairly attractive for any woman who doesn't know any better, but Ellie isn't fooled by the looks anymore. Instead, she's terrified and internally hoping she's somehow hallucinating.

Thomas holds his hands up, "Ellie, look, don't panic-"

"Get the hell out before I call the police," she snaps in a spurt of boldness that surprises herself. Thomas also raises his brows -she'd never confronted him so aggressively.

"I just wanted to talk-"

"Talk? You came here to talk?" Ellie says in a venomous tone. She bares her teeth and practically snarls, "No. I have nothing to say to you. Get. Out."

Thomas looks at a complete loss for a moment. For the first time Ellie feels like the one in power, now. She's not sure how, or why, but her initial fear has morphed into a burning hot fury. She imagines it's from the painful memories of dealing with this man and his abuse for so long. Now that she's no longer trapped beneath him, she's come out stronger.

"Ellie, please. I just... I wanted to see them," he loosely gestures inside the house, "The kids..."

"Are you joking? After, what, six years you've finally decided to come around and see your kids?" Ellie's words spit from her mouth like lethal poison and pour out in her distraught, angry spout, "Your daughter, who's still terrified of you and your son who doesn't even remember you? The same son you fucking abandoned and spat upon just because he was deaf?!"

She glares at him until she sees his eyes slide past her. Following his gaze, she sees Charlie standing behind them, his eyes wide and very afraid. He openly gapes at his father, looking tense and ready to dart away as soon as he moves.

"Charlie?" Thomas said in a deceptively gentle voice.

Ellie snorts, "He can't hear you, idiot. He probably doesn't even recognize you."

Quickly she signs two words only, 'Room. Now.'

Charlie runs upstairs without a backwards glance. When she turns back to Thomas he's watching her curiously, "So that's, uh, sign language?"

"Yeah. Something you never cared to learn and communicate to your son with," Ellie crosses her arms, "I'm not asking you again Thomas. Leave."

Something dark flashes across his face. It's the same darkness she'd seen when she was still married to him. The same darkness on his face when he'd rear back his hand, or grab her throat, or force her into the bed. Ellie's prior confidence begins to steadily drop as he takes a threatening step forward. "Let me in, Ellie."

"No," Ellie stands her ground.

"You can't deny my right to see my kids."

"You lost that fucking right the moment you hit me for the first time," she hisses, "Leave!"

Thomas barges forward, causing Ellie to yelp and jump back as he breaches her home. He curls his lip and reaches for her but Ellie once again backs away before he can touch her. He smirks, "Of course. You act so tough at first, but in the end you're still pathetic. That's a shame. I was almost impressed with you, _honey_."

"Thomas, get the hell out of my house-" she says, but stops when she sees that he's not looking at her. She whirls her head around to see Maddie at the kitchen doorway, eyes wide at the scene before her. She looks fearfully between her mother, to her previously estranged father.

"Madison," Thomas says, looking surprised at the sight of his daughter, "You're so big now."

"Don't even start with that," Ellie growls, but Thomas either doesn't hear or ignores her. The second he moves towards Maddie, Ellie shoves him back hard and yells, "Madison, go! Run, right now!"

Maddie takes off. Not upstairs, but through the back door.

Instant pain in her scalp makes Ellie cry out and reach for the large fist dug in her hair. Thomas yanks her head up, snarls again, and pushes her against the wall. "And this is exactly why I didn't try to visit all this time. I knew you'd make it _so_ fucking difficult."

Ellie gasps, unable to withold her tears of pain as Thomas retains his grip on her hair, so tight that it feels as though he's about to rip her whole scalp off, "Don't do this, Thomas, please-"

Ellie doesn't get to finish her plea. Thomas is suddenly yanked forcibly back, causing him to release her hair. Uttering a confused noise he turns to the side -only to receive a lightning fast fist straight to his face. Blood explodes immediately out of his broken nose and the impact is strong enough to knock him onto his behind yowling in pain.

Ellie scrambles away as soon as she's able to. She stands back, eyes wide as she recognizes the second large man who'd knocked her ex-husband senseless. Crosshairs clenches his fists and bares his teeth like a feral animal, standing between Ellie and Thomas, the latter looking up with an entirely surprised expression, his hands covering his bleeding nose.

"Who the hell-" Thomas climbs to his feet and lowers his hands, his eyes running up and down the other man with scrutinizing eyes, "Who the hell are you?"

"Someone who's 'bout to break your whole fraggin' face if you don't get out right now," Crosshairs growls, with a dangerous tone intimidating enough to scare even Ellie. Maddie runs up to her and grabs onto her mother, both of them watching the men stand at an intense impasse.

Thomas is no small man, but Crosshairs is the epiphany of true masculinity. Her ex is relatively fit, but Crosshairs's holoform is seemingly designed to look like he hasn't skipped a day at the gym for a decade. There isn't a single pound of fat on him; only hard and powerful muscle. It's in this moment Ellie realizes that the more terrifying man in the room is ironically the one she's least afraid of.

She can see that Thomas is beginning to grasp the reality of his opponent, too. He looks frustrated that he has to look up, seeing as Crosshairs has a couple of inches on him. The Autobot isn't particularly 'bulky' but he's tall, broad, and not one to be underestimated.

"Screwing around as always, huh Ellie?" Thomas looks around Crosshairs's shoulder and sneers at her, "Who's this, you fucking slut, your latest-"

Crosshairs slams his palm against Thomas's chest, shoving him back, "Don't fraggin' talk to her, you worthless piece of-"

He doesn't get to finish. Thomas bristles as soon as he's shoved and swings his fist. Crosshairs catches his fist with reflexes so quick that it looks inhuman. With his eyes burning like blue flames, he squeezes until a few knuckles crack and Thomas is hollering in pain and trying to pry his fist out of his grip.

Crosshairs finally lets go and swings another punch of his own. It lands so hard that Thomas's head bounces against the wall with a painful thud. Then, in an incredible showcase of his true strength he grabs the human male's throat and lifts him against the wall effortlessly. Thomas writhes and hacks up blood, his eyes now wide with fear and his mouth uttering pitiful sounds. His hands claw at Crosshairs's fingers around his neck.

"Thomas, yeah? Y'know I've heard 'bout you," he sneers, seeming to take pleasure in watching the man squirm in his grip, "Enough to make me wanna make you fraggin' suffer, just like she did. You're despicable. Every bit as fraggin' pathetic as the enemies I've fought in the military. You're lucky I don't bust your damn skull open right now."

Thomas only continues to choke, unable to speak considering he's being held off of his feet. Crosshairs looks to the side to Ellie, who's still holding onto Maddie and watching the scene with alarmed eyes. His eyes grow soft instantly and he asks her, "He hurt you, doll?"

"I..." Ellie struggles to find words.

"Ellie," he says, a little firmer but still in a gentle tone, "Did he hurt you?"

Her eyes meet his, and with her lips pursed she nods once, sealing her ex-husband's fate.

Crosshairs turns back to Thomas and drops him. The man collapses instantly and gasps for air, but he isn't granted much recovery time as Crosshairs grabs the hem of his shirt, drags him through the front door and throws him outside into the cold, frosted grass.

Thomas coughs and scrambles to get away but Crosshairs is much faster, grabbing a fistful of Thomas's messed up hair and throwing him backwards, the man's miserable screaming echoing throughout the property. He falls onto his back and once again tries to get away. Crosshairs throws one heavy kick to his ribs, both hearing and feeling a few of them snap immediately from force that is far beyond human.

With another powerful kick to Thomas's stomach he forces him onto his back again and places his boot directly on his chest. Crosshairs presses down, making Thomas wheeze. He can easily brake the human's sternum with a little more pressure but suppresses that urge, bound by his oath to his Prime, as an Autobot.

_We shall not kill humans. It is our duty, as Autobots, to protect them._

Crosshairs wonders, was Optimus aware that humans like the one underneath him exist? To him, Thomas doesn't deserve protection. He's a sad, disgusting excuse of human existence that Crosshairs is more inclined to eliminate than spare. If anything he'd still be protecting humans. More precisely, other human femmes who may fall victim to this monster, like Ellie. He watches the man squirm in pain under him and debates the consequences if he were to just go through with it in this moment.

"Stop, stop, please!" Thomas wheezes, covering his bruised and bloodied face with his arms, "I-I'll leave! I swear to God, I'll leave!"

Crosshairs glares down at him for a moment longer, then finally comes to a decision. He takes his foot off, but then grabs the man's neck with one hand and rears back the other, his fist colliding with Thomas's jaw, promptly either dislocating it or breaking it. Thomas moans in pain and his head lolls.

Bringing him up to his face Crosshairs hisses in a deep, lethal voice, "Next time you won't walk outta here alive. Leave."

With that he throws Thomas to the ground again. With shaking limbs the man rushes to his feet, gasping and coughing painfully. He turns to face Crosshairs, raises his hands, then bolts for his car, practically diving in it and racing out of the driveway. Crosshairs considers following him for a little extra scare, but decides against it. He's already beaten and broken the man. Following will only put himself in danger.

He glares at the driveway even long after Thomas is gone. Eventually, though, he starts to feel the odd sensation of cold particles landing on him. He looks around, eyes widening at the steady fall of fluffy white snowflakes. They stick to the green T-shirt his holoform wears by default and to his skin. The coldness doesn't bother him as much as it would a human, but he frowns when he lifts his hands, seeing his knuckles blue and just a little swollen.

Rubbing his numbed hands he turns to the porch, pausing and feeling his spark drop when he sees Maddie standing there. The young girl is staring at him with an expression he can't decipher. Crosshairs opens his mouth, but finds that he doesn't even know what to say, or how to explain what had happened. He'd hoped she wouldn't see him brutally beating her father; that was why he'd dragged him outside.

"Maddie," he comes forward, but she tenses right away. He feels a pinching pain in his spark. Is she afraid of him now? Now that he's demonstrated how dangerous he can be?

Then Maddie closes her eyes and the tears fall. Not even his countless near-death experiences as a soldier have made him as scared as he is now. Crosshairs stands stiffly in the snow, his body growing numb but his insides exploding with overwhelming guilt. Guilt, and fear that he's just traumatized this innocent child.

"Hey, Maddie..." he tries again, expecting her to flinch. But she doesn't respond, so Crosshairs tentatively walks onto the porch and approaches her, kneeling down to her level. Better to be as unintimidating as possible. He reaches up and rubs her bare shoulders softly, then cups her small face and wipes her tears.

He doesn't expect it when Maddie opens her eyes and suddenly lunges herself into his arms. He tenses only for a moment before pulling the young girl close as she sobs into his shoulder.

"I was so scared," she says between hiccups, "He was gonna hurt Mom again! I thought he was gonna hurt me, and Charlie, too! I didn't know what to do so I woke you up and-"

Crosshairs pulls her back and takes her face in his hands again, "Hey, hey, look at me, darlin'. You did the right thing, you hear me? You did good. If you hadn't gotten me, he would have hurt her."

Maddie sniffles and nods. Crosshairs smooths her hair from her face. It doesn't come across him how natural it feels, despite being the one Autobot on Earth who has zero experience with younglings of any kind. There's an instinct buried deep in his coding that comes alive the moment he sees either of Ellie's children in distress. Something he doesn't know how to describe, so he simply doesn't question it.

"C'mere," he murmurs and Maddie happily falls back into the embrace of his strong, protective arms. He opens his eyes and notices another, smaller form standing in the doorway. Charlie's wide brown eyes are brimmed with tears, too, so Crosshairs opens his arm and welcomes the little boy into the hug as well.

'You okay?' He signs when they all pull away. Charlie frowns and looks down, 'I saw. Window.'

Crosshairs sighs. He hopes Ellie isn't going to be upset that her kids had a front row seat in their father being beat into the ground. He doesn't regret doing it -frag no- but he regrets that these two had to watch it. On the thought of Ellie, though, he turns to Charlie and brings his palm to his face, thumb on his chin, 'Your Mom?'

"She went to the kitchen," Maddie answers. "I think... I think she was crying."

Crosshairs swears under his breath and stands up. With one last backwards glance he ushers the two human children inside, "C'mon, gettin' too cold out here."

He pauses in the living room, then turns to them and kneels down again, signing as he speaks, "'M gonna talk to your mama. Why don't y'all two go upstairs for a bit. Can you do that for me?"

They both nod. Charlie waves his hand to grab the Autobot's attention and signs, 'Make Mom feel better?'

Crosshairs nods. He's thankful that these are kids who seem wise beyond their ages. They both seem to understand his intentions and obediently go upstairs without protest. He walks to the kitchen and just as Maddie had said, Ellie's there. She's hunched over the counter with her back to him.

Crosshairs approaches her, "Ellie?"

He sees her shoulders tense for a brief moment before she turns around, hastily wiping at her face. Almost immediately he has the urge to reach out to her and hold her but he's not sure if that's what she wants in this moment.

"Are the kids okay?" She asks in a thick voice.

Crosshairs nods, "They're fine. Sent 'em upstairs."

Ellie offers him a grateful look, trying her best to fight her tears. Crosshairs shifts his weight unsurely, not quite able to pinpoint what is making her upset, "Did I... do wrong?"

"What?" She frowns at him.

"I thought... you nodded, so..."

"Oh, Crosshairs, no..." Ellie says, realizing what he's inferring, "No, I'm not upset about what you did. I'll admit it was... satisfying, seeing him being beat for the first time. I had to turn away, though. I just, I got overwhelmed..."

She trails off and covers her mouth with her hand. Shaking her head Ellie desperately holds it all in. She doesn't want to cry, she doesn't, but when she feels him pull her close Ellie finally lets it all out. Burying her face into his broad chest she silently cries out all of the fear, anxieties and worries of having faced Thomas again.

"I can't stop thinking about what would have happened if... if you weren't here," Ellie whispers once she calms down. She pulls away to look up at him, "It scares me to think about it."

"Don't think 'bout it then, doll," he murmurs, "Ain't gotta worry about 'im anymore. Fragger has the hardest codpiece in the galaxy if he comes back after that."

Ellie laughs weakly. For a moment she simply relaxes in his arms, relishing in the fact that she's most likely the most protected woman in the world and that her ex-husband has finally experienced her pain. It feels good to know he's been soundly beaten and most likely is too terrified to even think about coming back. For all Thomas knows he's gotten his ass handed to him by a seasoned soldier, not a being from another planet.

Ellie feels her chin being lifted and looks back up into Crosshairs's bright blue eyes, so endearing and sharp, like how she imagines he looks through his scopes; with an intense focus that's trained to spot his target out in the field. Except Crosshairs doesn't seem to find what he's looking for in her and releases her chin. Ellie thinks he was looking for signs of fear -any indication that his actions have disrupted whatever kind of relationship is between them.

Ellie suddenly feels compelled to place her hands on his chest. She stares with half-lidded eyes up at him, "You probably just saved my life..."

"I'll always protect you, Ellie," he replies with confidence.

Before she even realizes what she's doing Ellie rises up to the tips of her toes, so that she can tip her head up and press her lips to his. It's a soft, innocent kiss that lasts only for a handful of seconds before Ellie's mind catches up to her actions. She jerks back with a quiet gasp and a furious blush as she realizes what she'd just done, "Oh God, I... I'm sorry, I didn't... I'm just going to..."

With embarrassment burning her from the inside out Ellie rushes to turn away, only for a large hand to grab her wrist and stop her before she can run away. Crosshairs's face is unreadable but he carefully pulls her back to him. He stares down at her for one agonizingly long moment, then takes her head in both hands and pulls her into a searing kiss.

Ellie's heart is pounding in her chest, which she's sure that Crosshairs can feel. But it's not pounding the same way it did when she was with Thomas. It feels... pleasant, like she's about to fly away, fills her with the adrenaline that doesn't encourage her to flee in fear, but press closer with a passion.

It feels like an eternity passes before they break away. Ellie has to take a few deep breaths and opens her eyes to see Crosshairs opening his own, a bewildered expression on his face. Clearly, he wasn't expecting his own actions either.

"Okay, well..." Ellie whispers, looking away and bursting into bashful giggles, "That just happened..."

He releases her face and she hears an amused exhale escape him. Then he tips her head up, smirks, and asks, "...Can it happen again?"

Still breathless, Ellie can do nothing more than smile and nod and close her eyes as Crosshairs leans down and kisses her again. Her arms travel up the length of his chest and encircle his neck while his hands fall to her hips and tug her impossibly closer. Ellie can feel the heightened vibration deep in his chest against her own thumping heart.

They share sweet, short kisses for a little while until she feels Crosshairs's hands travel lower. She squeaks as she's suddenly lifted up and placed onto the counter top, where she no longer has to keep leaning up and he doesn't have to keep bending down. Before she can even settle Crosshairs steals her mouth again, his hands gripping the counter on either side of her. Ellie's fingers slip into his chestnut hair and briefly notes the dampness of it.

"_Mm_... this feels familiar," Crosshairs comments as he breaks away from the kisses. Ellie glances down at their current position and chuckles, "It does, doesn't it? Except no nosey sisters calling this time."

"Nope," Crosshairs's lips stray from her own and begin to press kisses to her jaw, down to the sensitive skin of her neck, causing Ellie to gasp and squirm. It's been so, so long since a man has treated her like this -like she's something delicate and precious. Even Thomas, when they were dating and he hadn't started hurting her yet, hadn't made her feel as good as Crosshairs is now.

She feels the light tickle of his stubble as his lips press against her pulse. He lingers there, and Ellie wonders if he's intrigued by it. She laughs airily, "What are you doing?"

Crosshairs pulls back and gazes at her, "This... alright with you?"

Ellie blinks, "Yeah, it's... it's fine. I'm fine. Why, what's wrong?"

He reaches up and cups her face, "Your heart's racin', doll."

"Oh, I know," Placing her small hand over his she smiles, "It's a good thing, though. I promise."

Crosshairs nods a little, then leans forward and kisses her again, long and slow until Ellie's breath is all but stolen and she eventually has to pull back to catch it again. Her eyes open and she can feel the heat in her cheeks as she sees his painfully attractive smirk pulling at his mouth.

Then her eyes glance downwards for a moment and she notices the blue swelling on his knuckles. Taking his hand off of her face Ellie's eyes widen a fraction as she gently touches each knuckle, "Crosshairs, your hands..."

"Ah, yeah," he makes a face and lifts both hands for her to see, "'S fine, doll. Doesn't hurt."

"...Are you sure? You don't need ice or anything?" She frets, looking between each hand.

"Nah. Injuries ain't permanent on holoforms. When I reset it, this'll all be gone."

She huffs and releases his hand, "If only humans could do that."

Ellie glances to the side, her eyes widening as she notices the white flakes steadily falling. She gently pushes on Crosshairs and slips off of the counter, trying to ignore the blush still on her face, and walks to the back door.

"Oh, wow..." she murmurs. Already there's a thin layer of snow beginning to cover the ground. She looks to the garage, then to Crosshairs as he comes over, "You're not going to freeze out there, are you?"

He hums a negative, looking distracted by the falling snow as he answers, "I'll be fine. Garage is heated..."

Ellie watches him as the Autobot stares outside with mildly wondrous blue eyes. She nudges his shoulder, "You've seen snow before, right?"

"Couple times," he says with a nod, "Not like this, though."

Ellie assumes he means that he hasn't seen the true beauty of snow until now. She doesn't imagine being cooped up in a base allows for pretty scenery during winter. As the sun continues to set and everything goes dark, Ellie clears her throat and turns away. Now that the heat of the moment has passed, she isn't sure how to process the fact that they have just shared an intimate moment. "Um... I'm going to check on the kids, make sure they're okay. And probably get ready for bed after that."

She walks into the living room and sighs as the memory of Thomas barging through replays in her mind briefly. She forces herself not to think about him. After his run-in with Crosshairs he's more than likely never going to step foot onto her property again. Good riddance. Ellie takes the remote and shuts off the TV, turning around to see Crosshairs leaning against the doorframe and watching her thoughtfully.

The intense way he's looking at her causes Ellie's face to flush once again. It feels as though he's staring right through her. It makes her feel vulnerable, bare, but in an entirely different way than Thomas. It crosses her mind right then that, had Crosshairs been human, he could easily have any woman he wanted with that exhilarating stare and those gorgeous blue eyes. She imagines that he must have been good with the females -or males- of his own kind at some point. But... he had kissed _her_ -a human woman with more baggage than what most men would want.

For the life of her, Ellie can't pinpoint why exactly Crosshairs had done it. To make her feel better? Do Cybertronians even kiss each other? Does he even understand what it means to kiss her? It can't be because of attraction, could it? She can't imagine what he sees in her, if anything at all.

A hand on her arm jolts her out of her thoughts. She stifles a squeak, not having realized that Crosshairs had come closer. He tilts his head, "What are you thinkin' about, doll?"

Ellie looks up at him, "...You."

"Yeah?" He leans closer, "What 'bout me?"

"Just..." Ellie fumbles for words. She's distracted by his eyes, which are very focused on something lower than her own eyes. His fingers graze her cheek softly and Ellie sighs, brushing his hand away, "I'm going to head upstairs. Um, are you staying in here, or...?"

Crosshairs backs away a little. It takes her a moment to realize that he's respecting her space. That, too, is something that sets him miles apart from Thomas. Saying no, and being listened to was rare around her ex-husband. Crosshairs, on the other hand, catches it right away. Ellie has to suppress the sudden urge to smile, cry, and let him kiss her all over again. And not necessarily in that order.

"Think I will, actually," Crosshairs's eyes travel around the room for a moment, "In case of, y'know..."

Ellie frowns, "Do you think he'll come back?"

He turns to her, "Do you?"

"...I don't know."

"Exactly," Crosshairs glares at the front door, as if fully expecting Thomas to break in at any moment, "Probably best if I sit the night out. Just in case."

"You won't get tired? Don't you need sleep, too?"

"My sleep cycle's different from yours, doll," he explains, with a slight smile, "I'll be fine."

"...Okay," Ellie nods slowly and smiles back. For only a few seconds their eyes meet and they stare at one another. For only a few seconds she feels the world narrow down to just them, the room thickening with wisps of whatever is there between them. Ellie can almost physically feel the tug deep inside, and by looking at the clench in his jaw, the urge in his eyes, she knows that he feels it, too.

"Goodnight, Crosshairs," she says.

"Night, Ellie," he replies.

* * *

Crosshairs is just beginning to settle into a book when he hears noises upstairs.

At some point he wonders when exactly he'd attained the patience to even _think_ about reading. Pre-DC Crosshairs would have scoffed at the notion of integrating himself in human culture to such an extent. He barely read any sort of literature on Cybertron as is. He'd been created and raised with a long lineage of weaponry and serving in Iacon's military.

Crosshairs never would have been able to sit himself through some cheesy story for the life of him. Just like he wouldn't have been able to handle interacting with human younglings, let alone allow himself to become infatuated with a human femme. Primus, his sire is probably rolling in the Well at this point.

Ellie had remarked before that the Crosshairs who crawled out of DC was practically a different Autobot all together. He's beginning to realize how right she was.

Especially since old Crosshairs wouldn't have bolted upstairs the moment he recognizes what he's hearing.

_Get Ellie_, is his initial thought. She's the carrier, the mother. She'll know what to do. But Crosshairs finds himself overtaken by protocols completely foreign to him and yet familiar all the same. He stands in front of the closed door of her little boy, listening to his soft, distressed cries.

_He's standing in the corridor, pausing mid-stride. It's somewhere close to midnight. Most are asleep, or in recharge but Crosshairs tends to train into the late hours._

_There's crying on the other side of his shared quarters. This has never happened before. He hesitates, then raps his knuckles on the door, "...Blue?"_

Crosshairs slowly opens the door. He's met with the sight of Charlie huddled under his sheets. The little boy is trembling, and writhing, and whimpering in his sleep. His noises are still so quiet, though, that it's only because of a Cybertronian's hypersensitive audio range that Crosshairs is able to pick them up.

He's flinging himself into action before he can even process the situation. He isn't thinking, isn't hesitating, only letting whatever protocol this is take him over. There's a sudden sense of familiarity to the scene. He feels as though he's seen this countless times, has acted upon it countless times; so much that everything he's doing now is running on pure, programmed instinct.

"Charlie," he says, before remembering right away that the little boy is deaf. Crosshairs instead sits on the bed and carefully shakes Charlie, determined to rouse him from his apparent nightmare. It vaguely comes to him now that even if he's got a case of raging protective protocols coming online, he really doesn't know how exactly to handle a distressed human child. One with a special condition, no less.

Swearing to himself, he's about to go and wake up Charlie's oblivious mother when a memory ticks. It offers him a quick solution so Crosshairs follows his gut instinct and grabs the small child and backs himself against the headboard while settling Charlie in his lap. The little boy squirms and whines but seems to jolt awake finally. He snaps his head up, mouth wide open as Crosshairs holds him close to his broad chest.

_Primus, what am I doing?_

Because honestly, Crosshairs doesn't know. He isn't sure where and why he's developed guardian-esque protocols as if he's some experienced sire. In the end, he decides not to question it. For now.

Charlie's little face is stained with tears and he looks around his room, as if expecting something to jump out and get him. He's also clearly confused as to why Crosshairs is here, holding him. Maybe he was expecting the more familiar embrace of his mother. Crosshairs hopes he isn't going to freak out even more upon realizing this.

He doesn't, thankfully. After looking around one last time Charlie turns back to him and buries himself against the holoform's chest, almost like he's trying to physically become a part of Crosshairs. The Autobot sighs, one hand smoothing through the little boy's brown curls while the other wraps around him in a genuine show of protection. He isn't sure what Charlie is so scared of but he's willing to let him know that he's here to keep him safe.

It takes a long moment but Charlie eventually begins to calm down in his arms. Crosshairs silently signs when he looks up, 'You okay?'

Charlie nods a little, but Crosshairs can still see his bottom lip trembling and can feel his little heart beat more accelerated than usual. The little boy slowly signs back, 'Bad dream.'

'About what?'

'...Bad man.'

Crosshairs supresses a deep growl in his throat. He doesn't think he needs to ask who the 'bad man' is. The fact that this child just had a nightmare of his own sire only proves to Crosshairs that he probably shouldn't have let that stupid fragger live. No youngling should ever have to fear a creator, human or otherwise. It was just... wrong.

"'S okay..." he mumbles, well aware the the child can't hear him. Charlie seems to get the message anyways as he pulls the boy back into him. For a while he stays there, mulling over idle thoughts while Charlie clings to him until he finally drifts back into a more peaceful sleep.

Crosshairs carefully tries to maneuver himself off of the bed, but Charlie snaps awake almost as soon as he moves. Making a nervous noise of protest the little boy grabs onto his holoform's middle and refuses to let him go. Crosshairs freezes at the unexpected response, then slumps in defeat after trying and failing to pry Charlie off. They meet eyes, and as much as Crosshairs wants to be annoyed, it's simply not possible after seeing the fear in this child's expression.

'Stay,' Charlie signs. Then after a moment he rubs his palm in a circular motion on his chest, 'Please?'

A previously forgotten memory whips by Crosshairs.

_"Can... can you just stay here? Please?"_

He remembers. Bits and pieces fit together in his processor like puzzles. He remembers a weight in his lap, hands holding onto his armor, and tears streaking innocent blue optics. He was sitting on a berth, holding Bluestreak as he cried through the horrors of losing his home. That's why he'd moved to Charlie without hesitation, knew what to do without even realizing he did; he's been doing this for years.

Looking down at Charlie, Crosshairs mutely nods. With a silent internal command to rid his holoform of his shoes he settles back against the headboard. Charlie reaches for his space-themed blankets and tugs them closer. With Crosshairs's help he pulls them over the Autobot's lap and over his small body. Once they settle Crosshairs stares blankly ahead, one hand still idly running over Charlie's head while he tunes into the boy's lowering heart beat.

Crosshairs realizes that Charlie has actually fallen asleep right away and brings his free hand up to run down his face. He can't believe he's handled this so well. Part of him feared that he'd scare Charlie even more and Ellie would wake up to her son screaming. The other part of him is still trying to process the fact that his guardian protocols are very much online, and apparently have been for a while. Frag, how hadn't he noticed?

Crosshairs readjusts himself to sit more comfortably, knowing that he's going to be here for a while. As he slowly puts himself into a partial power-down, he accesses the last of his previously lost memories.

_He walks into his quarters to see Bluestreak tossing and turning in berth. The young Autobot is crying and calling out names that he doesn't recognize. Crosshairs freezes. He doesn't know what to do, until there's a shift inside him. Certain protocols come to life, and suddenly Crosshairs moves. _

_He doesn't see Bluestreak. He sees a youngling in dispair._

_"Hey, hey, Blue!" Crosshairs sits on the berth and shakes the smaller Autobot until he jumps straight up and cries out._

_He doesn't think about what he's doing. He doesn't question it. He runs solely on what this new programming is telling him and he holds Bluestreak close. The gray Autobot whines and clings to him, desperate for comfort._

_"My creators are dead," he cries, "I can't stop seeing them die! I can't stop seeing Praxus!"_

_"I know, kid. You're alright," Crosshairs says, soothing the traumatized __Praxian__, "I gotcha...__ I gotcha..."_

* * *

_**What a doozy of a chapter. Ellie and Crosshairs are at a turning point in their relationship, and looks like Crosshairs isn't as clueless around kids as he thought he was. I'll admit that I enjoyed writing Thomas getting beat up just a little too much, haha. Hopefully he won't be a problem anymore. ;)**_

_**Thank you guys for all the kind responses, I'm still a little shocked at how many views it has so quickly. I'll see you all next week, and please don't hesitate to drop your reviews, they're very much appreciated! :)**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's note will be up here today. I apologize for the rather abrupt lack of updates for the last few months. The reason is because I had some very quick changes in my life, including a new job, juggling around my summer semester, and a death in the family that's left me really crushed. I wanted to focus on getting myself straightened out in the real world before continuing to write, and finally I think I've settled back into a comfortable schedule and have managed to move on after my loss.**_

_**Thank you guys so much for your patience! Here's a new chapter up and ready. The good news is that I had to split this chapter in half because it got so long, so I will upload the second half next Monday, right on time. After that, though, I will be slowing my updates to every OTHER Monday, both to allow myself time to write and to ensure I can focus on my new job and my classes.**_

_**It's a little filler-y, but I hope you all enjoy it still. And as always, your reviews are always loved and appreciated. :)**_

* * *

_"I think about them a lot."_

_"Your creators?"_

_Bluestreak nods. He slouches where he's sitting on his berth, doorwings falling a few inches, fingers nervously touching at different parts of his sniper across his lap. He slowly drags a cleaning rag up and down the barrel, murmuring quietly, "I get memory feedback of them while I recharge sometimes. I can still remember being held by my carrier, or playing with my sire. It feels so long ago now. It's getting harder and harder to remember them clearly. But then other times, I remember what happened. The explosions, the screams, the destruction. I remember how scared I was. How sad I was when I found them both..."_

_Bluestreak begins to tremble. For a moment Crosshairs is compelled to launch across their shared quarters, in case the young Autobot falls into another violent emotional overload, but then Bluestreak looks up at him with big blue optics nearly brimming with tears, "Is that normal? Does it always hurt this much? Am I... am I broken, Crosshairs?"_

_Frag it. Despite all of Crosshairs's brashness, his tough, war-hardened persona, his absolute refusal to express outward feelings - there's something deep down inside that completely shatters at watching Bluestreak cry._

_He gets up and carefully settles down next to the young Praxian, taking the rifle off of his lap and placing it behind them. A brief moment passes. Crosshairs isn't sure what to say. He isn't good at things like this - soft talk has never been his strong suit. But for Bluestreak, he has to try. With a comforting hand on his shoulder, Crosshairs shakes his head, "No, Blue. You're not broken."_

_Bluestreak looks down, "I feel broken."_

_Crosshairs clenches his jaw. For a short moment there's nothing but silence. Eventually though, he takes in a deep vent and ventures deep into his own memories - the ones that he's deliberately kept away since he was around Bluestreak's age._

_"...Kid, I lost my creators early on, too," he says, "I know it hurts. Trust me."_

_At that Bluestreak looks up at him, optics wide, "What happened to yours?"_

_There it is. The question Crosshairs really doesn't want to answer, but he chews down his own personal pain and goes on in a low voice, "My sire had, uh... issues with his spark. As he got older, it got worse. When he finally went to a medical center, he was diagnosed with a defective spark. They tried stabilizin' him, but... didn't work. His spark got too weak 'n gave out. My carrier passed not long after. Couldn't survive the bond break."_

_Bluestreak is silent for a moment. Then he asks, "Do you still think about them?"_

_"...Sometimes," Crosshairs shifts on the berth, "But I'm an old mech, now. I moved on. Had plenty of time to grieve. You, though, you're just a young 'un," he hesitates only for a moment, and then decides to go through with it and pull the Praxian in for a side embrace. Bluestreak leans in almost eagerly, and it makes Crosshairs's spark sink upon realizing that he's most likely never had any comforting physical contact with anyone except for his creators vorns ago._

_"You tell anyone about this?"_

_"About what?"_

_"Your TEOs."_

_Bluestreak shakes his head right away, "No way. I don't want anybody to know about them. Everyone will think I'm weak, or scared, or still just a helpless sparkling-"_

_Crosshairs frowns at him, "You've gotta tell someone, kid. Someone who can help you more than me. You oughta go to Rung and-"_

_"No!" Bluestreak all but leaps off of the berth and out from Crosshairs's arm, shaking his head vigorously and clenching his fists, "I don't want to go to anyone! I don't want to be looked at with pity anymore! Everyone already wants to coddle me because I'm the only sparkling who survived Praxus and I'm tired of it and I want to prove that I can be useful and that I can fight and-"_

_"Hey, hey, Bluestreak! Easy," Crosshairs stands up and grasps Bluestreak's shaking shoulders, forcing the smaller Autobot to face him. Looking into his optics, Crosshairs can see the painful determination to be anything but broken. Bluestreak has always wanted to prove himself, but it's only now that Crosshairs can truly understand why._

_"...You need help, kid."_

_"You help me," Bluestreak says in a small voice. Realizing the awkward silence, the young Praxian goes on, "I-I mean... being around you helps me a lot. Like when we patrol, or practice shooting and stuff like that. It helps. Keeps me from... thinking," when Crosshairs doesn't respond, he begins to babble as he usually does, "Sorry. I'm being weird. It's just that I feel comfortable around you and I've felt better since Optimus assigned you as my mentor and I-"_

_"Alright, Blue. Fine, fine," Crosshairs mutters. He's a little caught off guard by Bluestreak's words. He can't say there's many others who actually enjoy his presence. He can be snarky and blunt, which comes off as rude to most. The fact that this young mech looks up to him... frag it, he has a sneaking suspicion that Prime knew exactly what he was doing by putting Bluestreak under his wing. Bringing up a hand, he points at Bluestreak with a hard stare, "Let's do this, then. You have an attack, you come to me, yeah? I don't fraggin' care where I am or what I'm doin'. Come to me, and we'll talk about it."_

_"Just us?"_

_Crosshairs nods, "Just us."_

_Bluestreak smiles for the first time this morning. Then he embraces Crosshairs, and though the sharpshooter usually isn't keen on being 'touchy-feely', he has no problem with it this time. He can deal with it, if it means helping Bluestreak through his personal demons._

_"Thanks, Crosshairs."_

_"No problem, kiddo."_

* * *

The first thing Ellie sees when she gets out of bed and meanders into the hallway is Charlie's door wide open. She blinks at the unusual sight and wonders if her son has actually gotten up earlier than her, which is very abnormal. With furrowed brows and a slight frown, she approaches the doorway and peers inside.

She's met with a sight of Crosshairs's holoform, lax against the top of the small bed and Charlie's little form settled comfortably in the Autobot's lap. For a moment all she can do is stare. It's such a surreal scene, and as heartwarming as it is, Ellie's not quite sure why Crosshairs is in her son's room to begin with. Slowly she wanders into the room, noting that Crosshairs's eyes are closed but he doesn't seem like he's completely asleep.

"Kid had a nightmare," he murmurs. His eyes open and he slowly turns his head her way as Ellie carefully sits at the foot of the bed. Charlie shifts in Crosshairs's arms, then falls still again.

"A nightmare?" She whispers, looking down at her son, "He hasn't had one of those in a long time. Did he tell you what it was about?"

Crosshairs frowns, "'Bad man', he told me."

"Bad man?" Ellie blinks, but then understands with sinking shoulders, "Thomas."

Crosshairs nods. She sighs softly, reaching out and rubbing her son's back gently. Then she looks back up at him, "How did you know he was having a nightmare?"

"Heard him."

"...You heard him from downstairs and I somehow didn't?"

Crosshairs shakes his head, "Kid was quiet. No human would've heard him."

Right, Ellie's forgotten about the whole 'enhanced alien senses' ordeal. A small period of silence stretches between them. Ellie simply stares with interest as Crosshairs holds her son close and with a sense of familiarity. Eventually she breaks the silence by murmuring, "You're good with kids, you know that?"

He doesn't respond right away. She watches his face scrunch up for a moment, like there's something he wants to say. Ellie waits patiently for him to compose himself. He looks down at Charlie and murmurs quietly, "I remembered somethin'. Last night."

"You did? That's good, right? I know things fly by you a lot and you don't always understand them," she says. It's true; there's been a few times that Crosshairs claims to experience the occasional 'glitch'. Images or voices come and go in his head, sometimes completing memories and sometimes not. Crosshairs doesn't usually open up about them, though, so the only way Ellie knows he's experienced something is when he's particularly distant on that day.

"Seein' Charlie... it reminded me of Blue," he says after a moment, "After Praxus... kid was messed up bad. Used to have these severe TEOs..."

"TEOs?" Ellie asks.

"Traumatic emotional overloads," Crosshairs clarifies, looking at her with a frown, "Humans call it PTSD. I'd come in and Bluestreak..." he shakes his head, looking away and swallowing, "He cried for his home. Cried for his dead creators. Didn't know what to do at first, but then somethin'... clicked, I guess. Don't know how to describe it, just acted. Used to hold him like this, 'till he calmed down."

Ellie can see the troubled expression on his face. She offers him a small, knowing smile and says softly, "That's a little something we humans like to call 'paternal instinct', Crosshairs."

He seems to ponder on her words for a moment, then says, "Cybertronians... we've got this... core programming. We all have it. Makes us do things without thinkin'."

"Like instincts."

Crosshairs nods, then goes on slowly, "In that core programming we've got protocols. When activated they can alter how we act. One of 'em is somethin' called guardian protocols. Couple Autobots had it activated for human charges. Makes us prioritize that person who we wanna protect."

Ellie remembers something about that right away, from the N.E.S.T files. She'd once skimmed through documentations of Cybertronian behavior, and 'guardianship' was among that information. "I've read something about that before. William Lennox had an Autobot as his 'guardian', right?"

Looking a little surprised that she knows that, he nods.

"You were Bluestreak's guardian, weren't you?" She asks.

"Not... officially, but..." Crosshairs shifts against the headboard, "Guess I was. My protocols are on 'n I didn't even know it."

"Well, sometimes we all develop things without even noticing, Crosshairs. Paternal instinct is one of them, and you don't have to be an official parent to have it," Ellie says softly, "In fact, I'd say it's completely normal. Instinct, core programming, it doesn't matter. Same difference. Point is, I think that every sentient species has this primal urge to protect the young."

"Protect the young..." he murmurs, "Yeah, guess that makes sense..."

Charlie begins to squirm, causing the conversation to end there as they both revert their attention to him. The little boy lets out a long yawn, twisting so that he's sitting up in Crosshairs's lap with his back to the Autobot's chest. Rubbing his bleary eye with a fist, he blinks them open and smiles sleepily at his mother. Ellie smiles and runs her fingers through Charlie's messy curls before signing, 'Good morning.'

Charlie grins and returns the sign. Then his eyes wander upwards and he cranes his head to look at Crosshairs. The Autobot offers a small smile of his own, eyes widening a fraction when the little boy twists and rests his head on his chest again. Ellie laughs a little, her eyes meeting his, "I'm not sure, but I think he likes you."

"Think so?" Crosshairs replies, smirking and raising a brow.

Ellie taps her son's shoulder to get his attention. She signs, 'Are you hungry?'

After a short moment of thought, Charlie nods. At that both adults move to get up, only for Charlie to make a whining noise in protest and hang on to Crosshairs's abdomen when he tries to slip off of the bed. Crosshairs pauses immediately, and glances unsurely at Ellie. She's surprised too; Charlie has never been so clingy before. But then she sees her son's head swiveling around and realizes with a sinking heart that he's still afraid of his nightmare.

"Oh Charlie..." Ellie kneels down and signs to him while also whispering softly, "You have to let him go, baby. It's okay-"

"Don't," Crosshairs says.

Ellie casts him a confused look. She watches as he simply adjusts his hold on Charlie and stands up, "I'll hold him. 'S fine."

"Are you sure?"

Crosshairs nods. Knowing that trying to pry Charlie off of him at this point will really upset him, Ellie just sighs in defeat and heads downstairs with Crosshairs in tow. For a flicker of a moment, she thinks about how there's an Autobot right behind her, holding her child, and it's nearly freaky how natural it all seems. It's almost impossible to imagine their lives without Crosshairs being in it. He's been an unexpected, but quiet and protective presence in her family which they have lacked for many, many years.

These thoughts hang around within her mind for a little while as she absentmindedly starts a pot of coffee. She looks over her shoulder to see that Charlie has apparently finally seen fit to let go of Crosshairs, allowing the Autobot to set him down. She waits for her son to climb on a seat at the island and signs, 'Bacon and eggs?'

His response is a vigorous nod. Ellie laughs, "Alright, bacon and eggs it is."

The first things she go for are her stainless steel pans. She opens her cabinets and sighs, suddenly remembering that her good pans are stored on the top shelf, out of her reach. Goodness, why did she think that was a good idea? Standing on her tip toes, Ellie tries to at least catch her fingers on the handle, only to feel a presence behind her and watch a much larger, longer arm grab the pans and pull them down effortlessly.

A faint, grateful smile pulls at her lips. She turns around and instantly freezes. Thomas's imposing figure is towering over her. His eyes are narrowed and his grin is viscous-

"Ellie?"

Ellie blinks. Crosshairs is there instead, staring down at her steadily with the pans he'd pulled down offered to her. She blinks a few more times, clenches her jaw and takes the pans stiffly. The vision of Thomas has rendered her shaken.

Crosshairs measures her expression carefully. He knows something is wrong and he frowns, "You alright?"

"I- yeah," Ellie turns around and places the pans on the stove, "Yeah, I'm fine. Um, thank you, Crosshairs..."

It's obvious that he isn't convinced, but whatever he has to say is cut short as Maddie walks in with a yawn. She looks towards the two of them and smiles, "Hi, Mom. Hi, Crosshairs."

"Hey, sweetie. I'm making breakfast, so you two can go watch something in the living room if you want," Ellie replies. Maddie nods, and eventually she and her brother wander off to the living room and turn the TV on.

"Ellie..." Crosshairs begins once they're gone.

"Don't Crosshairs, I said I'm fine," she waves her hand, before wandering to the refrigerator for the carton of eggs, "You just... startled me."

Again he throws her an entirely unconvinced look, but he doesn't press on it anymore. He simply watches as Ellie prepares breakfast. Aside from the TV in the living room, it's silent for a while. Eventually, though, as she's flipping the bacon she hears Crosshairs speak.

"Remember that whole 'you can talk to me' thing you told me about at the park?" He says, "Goes both ways, doll."

Ellie sighs. She plops the bacon onto a plate on the side, drops the spatula, and turns to him, frowning, "Okay, fine. There's times where I look at you and... I see _him_. I don't know why, but it just happens. I know you're nothing like Thomas, and I know it must sound _really_ freaking pathetic, but-"

"Hey," Crosshairs interrupts, stepping closer. He carefully reaches out and grips her shoulders, urging her to fall silent. Ellie notices how cautious his movements are, undoubtedly to avoid triggering any unwanted memories of Thomas reaching for her. It's a small thing, but the extra care brings a warmth within her. He gazes down at her, raising a brow, "Relax."

Ellie wipes her face, "Sorry, I'm still a little worked up after... Thomas, last night."

"Figured," he says, and then adds in a somber tone, nodding towards the living room "You know how many times I look at 'em and see Blue? Can't explain it either, it just happens. Frag, it happened with Charlie, the other night."

Ellie frowns, "Is it painful?"

Crosshairs sighs softly, "Sometimes. Kid died in my arms, don't really like bein' reminded of it." He glanced back towards the living room, "But... those two keep me from tryin' to forget him, too."

Not knowing what else to say, Ellie just nods. But she takes a small comfort in that she's not the only one distantly haunted by someone. The atmosphere lightens after the small talk, with Ellie going for her coffee only after breakfast is done and the kids have their plates in the living room. When she pulls the pot out she hears Crosshairs make a strange noise. She turns around, "What?"

* * *

There's something increasingly alluring about watching Ellie go about herself. He's usually in the garage in the mornings, either still in a deep recharge or only just coming out of it. Being inside though, he finds himself intrigued by even the smallest things she does. He's not sure if that's simply because human mannerisms are still a bit of a mystery to him, or because Ellie has undeniably become an object of interest to him.

Being in her gentle presence soothes him, in a way he can't describe. The horrors of DC can't touch him here. She makes him feel... _good_. Comfortable. Safe.

The rich scent filling the kitchen drags him from his musings. With the holoform retaining the heightened senses of a Cybertronian, he's able to pick up on it a lot quicker and more strongly than humans. He utters a noise without even realizing it, causing Ellie to glance at him, "What?"

He eyes the coffee pot in her hand, "Smells weird."

"The coffee?" She looks down at it, laughs for a moment, then sets it down. Crosshairs finds her genuine laugh endearing, musical even, and decides that he definitely wants to hear more of it. "Oh, yeah, I guess it smells pretty strong for someone who isn't used to it."

She pours the steaming beverage into a coffee mug, hesitates, then looks over at him with an inquiring expression, "...You want to try some?"

Crosshairs considers it for a moment, then nods silently. Sure, since his curiosity is getting the better of him. Humans at N.E.S.T had a furious addiction to coffee, and he'd never quite understood why. In fact, there was never a morning where even Captain Lennox wasn't walking out of the barracks bossing everyone around with a mug in his hand.

Ellie gets a second mug from the cabinet and pours another cup. She wanders over to where he's leaning against the island and places the mug down. The coffee's smell flows steadily into his nose, and a moment later he picks up a waft of a soft, flowery scent as Ellie turns and walks away. It's nearly intoxicating.

"I know you've probably never had coffee before, but you strike me as the typical 'straight black coffee' kind of guy," she says, throwing him a small smile as she sips her own mug. She waves a hand at him, "Go on, try it. If you don't like it, I have creamer and sugar to give it a better taste. I myself like my coffee sweet."

He raises a brow at her enthusiasm, but picks up the warm mug silently. He stares at the dark colored liquid for only a moment before casually bringing it to his lips for a sip. He's met with a very strong taste and he grunts while swallowing. Crosshairs isn't initially sure what to make of the flavor. It's not bad, but not something he thinks is worthy enough for the addictions he's seen some N.E.S.T soldiers have.

Still he takes a few more sips of the coffee as it cools and he processes its taste a little more. He looks over to see Ellie grinning a little at him. She inclines her head, "Well? What's your verdict, big guy?"

"Mm," he purses his lips, staring at it thoughtfully, "'S alright, I guess. So why are humans so addicted to this stuff?"

Ellie laughs, "Well, coffee has caffeine in it. Caffeine helps give us energy and stay awake. That's why most adults drink it in the morning, so it helps us wake up and get ready for the day. And it tastes good, so almost everybody likes it."

Crosshairs hums. He supposes that makes sense. Bringing the mug up again, he gazes at Ellie while she settles near the doorway to the livingroom and watches her kids. His eyes wander over her small frame while she's turned away, not even realizing he's doing it. Her blonde hair is pulled over one shoulder, leaving one side of her neck bare for him to see.

Inevitably he zeroes in on the soft, pale skin. He remembers just the night before, when he'd been driven only by pure male instinct. The distant thought of his lips on her skin, against her beating pulse, brings forth the sudden urge to do it all over again. Just the mere thought of it makes his spark pulse, and it feels good. He wants to be close to her, hold her in his arms again, kiss her in the places that make her breath hitch, or make her laugh-

Crosshairs blinks. Then he sulks as he realizes something in that very moment.

._..Fraggin' hell. I'm attracted to a human._

* * *

Ellie turns to find Crosshairs staring at her. At this point it isn't as unusual as it used to be, but she still squirms under his eyes. She raises a brow at him, "What?"

Crosshairs blinks, then turns away, evidently not having realized that he's been staring. She sees him look a little unsurely down at his coffee and offers, "If you're done with that, you can just set it down by the sink. I'll take care of it."

As he does just that, she half-expects him to linger around. And he does, but when she meets his eyes again, with her mug to her lips, she sees an unfathomable mixture of emotion in his eyes. He clenches his jaw, like there's something he wants to do or say, only he isn't sure how to go about it. Ellie can see an urge, the same urge she'd seen last night, and promptly sets her own coffee down, "Okay, what's the matter with-"

Ellie doesn't get to finish. Crosshairs biting his bottom lip is the only forewarning she gets. She most definitely does _not_ expect it when he practically lunges as soon as she opens her mouth, grabs her face, and captures her in an open-mouthed kiss that leaves her completely breathless. It feels as though a heat is ignited deep inside of her, and she feels only the slight swipe of a tongue before it all ends and she's left with a gaping mouth and a dizzy mind.

For a good moment she's frozen in place. When she finally blinks and manages to snap herself out of it, she looks up to see Crosshairs slyly licking his lips and smirking.

"Hmm," he hums casually, "Think I like mine sweet, too."

And then he's gone, leaving Ellie with many questions and many mixed feelings. She touches her lips, struggles to control her rapid emotions, and then quickly slips into the living room in hopes of occupying herself from what in the world had just happened.

* * *

Ultimately, Ellie figures that a trip to the store will help keep her mind off of the little encounter with Crosshairs that morning. Having complete faith that he can watch her kids for an hour, she heads to the local supermarket and is steadily walking across the lot and towards the entrance when a vehicle in the corner of her eye comes nearly charging through, straight towards her.

A startled yelp escapes her, the burn of adrenaline rushing through her as her flight instincts kick in. Ellie jumps back and nearly topples over onto the ground as she comes face to face with a car screeching to a halt just inches in front of her. With her heart thudding, she stares wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the black and white police cruiser that nearly ran her over. Its engine snarls.

_"Move."_

The voice is deep and menacing and laced into a growl. There's a tremble in it, though - as if rushed. Maybe even afraid.

It takes all of five seconds for her to realize the situation and Ellie darts out of the way of the flaring cruiser only just before it launches forward again and out of the lot. She catches sight of a sharp edged insignia on its side before it's gone. She stands there uneasily and looks around, but it seems that nobody else has noticed the encounter she's just had.

With her heart continuing to beat just a little faster, Ellie skitters into the store. The more she tries to solely focus on her shopping list, however, the more she thinks back to what she has just seen. She recognizes the insignia. She knows what it means, and she knows that she very well may have just faced off with death itself. _In a stupid parking lot, of all places!_

She's not sure what's more unnerving; that there's a Decepticon right in the middle of public, or that there is clearly something that he was running from.

_But what could __possibly__ scare a Decepticon?_

The thoughts follow her as she eventually exits the store, with her eyes darting across the lot in case of another potentially dangerous encounter. But nothing seems out of place - there's people walking back and forth and vehicles moving in and out of the parking lot. Ellie can't help but wonder if there's any other cars in her vicinity that aren't as lifeless as they seem.

She stops and stares when she reaches her car. Her fingers clench onto the cart handle tightly, just as her breath hitches. She isn't sure what to do, or what to make of what she's seeing. Ellie almost always parks in the back, where there's little to no other vehicles nearby. But here, parked right next to her, is a very black, very menacing looking Lamborghini.

It feels as though a chill has run up and her spine. She looks around again - there's still some people around. A man even passes by, walks right up to the supercar and snaps a few pictures. It makes her feel foolish. Why is she so afraid of it? There's nothing that indicate that it's anything other than a fancy car parked next to her. _Right, it's __expensive__. People like to park their expensive cars away from everything else. __That's__ normal, Ellie. Get __over__ yourself._

And yet the closer she forces herself to be, the more she gets this cold and overwhelming sense of danger. The kind that has the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end. The kind that warns her that something is about to come after her, at any second. Cautiously Ellie gives the Lamborghini a very wide berth and pops open her trunk with shaking fingers. She keeps glancing at it, waiting for it to move, or change, or do _something_.

But the dark supercar sits there peacefully and harmlessly. Ellie still feels like she's being closely watched.

_Relax, Ellie. It's __just__ a car_. As she finishes loading her groceries, she watches two other people come very close to the Lamborghini to admire it. Nothing happens. _Just a car..._

It's that police cruiser that's keeping her unnerved, she figures. She still can't believe that had happened and that no one was miraculously close enough to hear it speak. She's sure someone would have reported had it been anyone except for her.

_It's a Decepticon. Maybe __I__ should._

But she shoots down that thought as quickly as it comes. She touches her phone in her back pocket, yet she can't bring herself to call. What right does she have, to spare one Cybertronian and turn in another? No matter the faction, they're all living things, struggling to hide and survive. That cruiser was no exception. He seemed frightened enough. _But by what?_

After pushing her now empty cart into a nearby cart holder Ellie takes a deep breath and wills herself to squeeze between her car and the Lamborghini. Who ever owns it conspicuously decided to park on her driver's side. There's a lingering uneasiness being this close to the supercar and Ellie's quick to jump into her car without a second glance. She just wants to get away from it as quickly as she can. As she pulls out and gets ready to drive away, she takes a glimpse at her rear view mirror.

The Lamborghini is gone.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Well, I'm a week late, but hey! It's on a Monday! Just when I think I'm settled, my job decides to pull a switcheroo on me and I had to work around a new schedule. On top of that, I ended up wanting to revise this chapter because I wasn't satisfied with how it was before. I wrote it extra long to make up for the late update, so please enjoy! Updates will remain every other Monday from here on out.**_

* * *

_He comes to with ringing audio receptors, glitched visual feed, and flames all around. His ventilation fails and he coughs as he's filled with smoke and residue. Pain sears its way through his frame like a white hot blade, along with the fire licking at his armor, threatening to smelt him alive._

_He tries to move, but there's a weight over him, pinning him down. He squirms and writhes, but no amount of strength can free him from the tons and tons of debris. N.E.S.T's reinforced walls are now all blasted and burned down around him. The heat scorches his frame, near unbearable in its intensity. There's no escape, and he's trapped._

_"Help... help me..."_

_He twists towards the voice. Another Autobot crawls out from the frames nearby, burned and missing his legs. His cries are drowned by the cackling flames, but chill Crosshairs down to his core._

_A dark shadow casts over him, and out comes a Cybertronian, unharmed and as black as night. He's barely visible in the darkness. The Autobot looks up, hopeful and hoarse, "Please... please..."_

_The black Cybertronian kneels down. Places a hand on the back of the Autobot's head, almost comfortingly, and presses down. "Shh, shh, shh..."_

_He pulls out a blaster, aims it to the back of his head, and shoots. The Autobot's body falls limp. He gets up, holsters his weapon, and turns his head sharply. Crosshairs freezes and shuts his optics off. He doesn't dare move. Moments pass. He can feel himself burning. A gun barrel nudges his helm, and then disappears._

_"...No more on-site survivors. Their scraps are yours to take. I will track the rest."_

_The sound of heavy footsteps recede into nothing but cackling flames. Crosshairs stays down, stiffly, until he finally lifts his head to see no one. Fruitlessly he struggles, gasping in pain at every movement but desperate to escape. He's nearly consumed in flames and attempts to reset his damaged vision. His hand flails out and grabs hold of a sturdy, bent beam._

_With his spark pulsing in its casing Crosshairs yanks it out, lodges it into the heavy debris on top of him, and pushes down. He only barely has the strength, but manages to pry just enough to pull himself out, crawling shakily out of the pile and escaping the fire. Crosshairs scrambles to stand up only to collapse in a scorched and heaving pile. He groans in pain. He can hardly move. It feels as though the energon in his lines has been set alight into liquid magma, and for a moment he considers laying there to die._

_"Crosshairs...?"_

_He knows that voice and is instantly filled with new and determined energy. He glances around nearly frantic for a familiar frame and then he sees him. Buried under more debris, an arm reaching for him. Big and pained blue optics, pleading._

_"Bluestreak!" Crosshairs crawls over with newfound adrenaline, spastic hands ripping at pieces of debris and ignoring the flames until he's able to see the young and critical Praxian gasping and shaking. Bluestreak cries, in a static laced voice, "I can't..."_

_He tears another piece of wall away, "Hold on kid-"_

_"I can't feel anything..."_

_"I got you-" he says, and then stops. He freezes, hands hovering but not sure where to touch. Crosshairs's spark plunges at the sight before him. The sight of Bluestreak, half-melted and missing an arm and a doorwing. The sight of his legs, crushed and broken. The sight of a beam, pierced through Bluestreak's chest._

_"What..." Bluestreak whimpers, "What is it? What's wrong with me?"_

_"Don't-" Crosshairs pushes his head down, before Bluestreak can see. He wants to scream, to cry, but all he can do is clench his jaw and accept the inevitable. It's punctured his spark, rendering it unstable and his frame unresponsive. There's energon everywhere, flowing freely. Without any proper medical attention, pulling it out will kill him. Leaving it in will be a slow and merciless death - he will leak out and die._

_"W-why can't I move? Why can't I feel anything?"_

_Crosshairs fights down a sob. Touches Bluestreak's terrified face, "You're gonna be okay, kid. It's gonna be okay..."_

_"Is it bad?" He whimpers, trembling, "Am I going to die?"_

_Crosshairs doesn't respond. He can't. It's answer enough, though, and suddenly Bluestreak is clinging to him, crying and afraid, "I don't want to die! Please, Crosshairs, I don't want to die!"_

_Bluestreak grows weak in his arms as his systems shut down. His field is spastic with feelings of pain, fear and despair. He knows, and Crosshairs knows, so they cling to each other one last time. The piercing pain in Crosshairs's spark overwhelms him, and no amount of physical damage can compare to it. He holds the shaking Praxian as close as he can, "I'm sorry, Blue."_

_It takes Bluestreak alarmingly long to respond. He grows weaker by the second, "I'm scared..."_

_"I know," Crosshairs grips the beam, "I know..."_

_He can't do it. He grits his dentals, tightens his grip, but a wrenching sob finally escapes Crosshairs. He feels a hand on his arm. Bluestreak stares up at him with dim optics._

_"It's... its okay," he whispers, "I don't want to go... but I know I have to. I think... I'm ready now..."_

_Crosshairs shakes his head, "I can't."_

_"You said..." Bluestreak coughs up energon, "everything will... be okay. I believe it," his face falls into a tragic mix of devastated happiness, "I'll... I'll see them again... right? My creators...?"_

_With a stiff nod, Crosshairs murmurs, "Y-yeah. That's right, kid. You'll see 'em again..."_

_Bluestreak nods and falls silent. Tightening his grip on the beam again, Crosshairs braces himself, only to pause one last time and meet the young Autobot's optics, "Kid, I..."_

_"...What?"_

_Crosshairs doesn't finish the sentence. He hesitates once, and then yanks the beam free. Bluestreak's body convulses as his spark cackles and collapses. Crosshairs cries out again, tosses the beam, and holds the Praxian's head gently until Bluestreak's optics are off, and the light of his spark is extinguished for good._

_Crosshairs can do nothing more than sit in the flames, hold Bluestreak's perished frame close, and cry into his shoulder. He wants the fire to consume him. He wants the pain to stop. He wants to be free of the guilt he knows he will have for the rest of his life._

_Crosshairs eventually glances up, tears on his face plating, and stares at the dark figure standing in the midst of the inferno. Lethal green optics meet his own, with almost a sense of curiosity. A blaster barrel is inches from his forehelm. Crosshairs closes his optics, clenches his jaw and presses his head into it. Begging for death._

_It feels like an eternity has passed. There's no point blank shot to his head. No words and no sound. He opens his optics with his head still to the barrel, staring up at his potential killer with a near challenging glare. He whispers, "Please."_

_The Cybertronian stares back. Glances at Bluestreak in his arms, and at the energon coated beam. He lowers his weapon_.

_"I like you," he says, "Go."_

* * *

There's absolutely nothing in the N.E.S.T files about a black Lamborghini, but there certainly is information regarding a black and white police cruiser.

_Barricade_. The name stands out to her right away as soon as she'd found his profile. Decepticon scout. Volatile, unmerciful, and dangerous. One of the first Decepticons to be discovered on Earth, which means he's definitely been around for a while. There isn't a whole lot of information on him, but apparently he's been noted to be elusive and cunning and often impersonates as a police cruiser to move through the public undetected.

Ellie still has yet to figure out why Barricade had seemed in such a rush. For a seemingly merciless Decepticon, she supposes she's lucky he even stopped in front of her at all. She's considered going to Crosshairs about it, but decides against it. She doesn't want to worry him, and she just hopes that her fateful encounter with Barricade is nothing but sheer luck.

Charlie and Maddie go back to school within a few days, and without their company, Ellie's finding it harder and harder to avoid the inevitable. It's a childish thing to do, she knows, but Crosshairs is just as guilty for it. They've been dancing around each other ever since he'd decided to taste coffee. _Through her lips._

It still makes her heart thud just thinking about it. Ellie isn't sure what it is about him, but Crosshairs has this uncanny ability to fill her with anxious energy. Not necessarily an anxiety that makes her fear, but the type that prepares her for whatever unexpected thing he might do next. There's been a few times after, where Crosshairs is around her and gives her these intense, fleeting looks. Intense enough to make her cheeks flush without even looking at him.

Ellie sighs, running a brush through her damp hair after a shower. She stares at her reflection on her bedroom mirror, silently taking note of her own little details. Sky blue eyes stare back at her. Ellie has never considered herself particularly drop-dead gorgeous, but she definitely isn't ugly either. Average at best. Her sister has always been the more attractive one. She twirls a strand of wavy blonde hair between her fingers and takes in the soft features of her face.

_...Is he attracted to me?_

The thought has floated around in her head a few times. It doesn't seem plausible- she's human, he's not. What's considered attractive to a Cybertronian most likely doesn't even apply to her. And yet... she's seen the look on his face. A look similar to Thomas in the past, just with less of a dangerous edge and more of a cautious, tentative one. Whatever it may be, it's what has compelled Crosshairs to steal those kisses, and deep down she knows that she isn't going to get an answer unless she sucks it up and talks to him.

As if fate has decided to intervene, she hears gentle knocking on the door and faintly smiles to herself. At least he's learned to knock after the last time he's entered her bedroom unannounced. Ellie takes a deep breath and calls out, "Come in."

She decides to distract herself by continuing to brush her hair, but in the corner of her mirror she sees Crosshairs walk in. He stares at her curiously as Ellie turns around and offers him a small smile, "Good morning."

"Mornin'," he replies, but the heaviness in his voice makes her pause and take a better look at him. His holoform looks rather tired, with his shoulders loose and his blue eyes a little dull. She frowns, now realizing why he hadn't been out of the garage as early as he usually was.

"Hey, you okay? You look tired."

Crosshairs rubs his arm and looks away, "I, uh... had a rough night. Couldn't rest."

"Oh? Did something happen, or..."

He shakes his head, turning back to her, "Negative memory feedback. It comes and goes."

It takes Ellie a moment to understand what he means. One more look at his haunted expression, though, helps her realize. She faces him, feeling her heart clench for him, "Nightmares?"

Crosshairs nods mutely.

"Yeah, I get those, too. They're not fun," she sets her brush down, recalling some of her own night terrors revolving around Thomas. But her dreams must pale in comparison to Crosshairs's experiences. She can't imagine what tortures him at night in addition to his recent trauma from DC. She asks him softly, "Did you want to talk about it?"

"No," Crosshairs says, a little bluntly. He comes forward and, after a moment of hesitation, reaches out and brushes her mostly-dry hair from her face. "Just... wanted to see you."

"Oh..." Ellie doesn't know what to say to that. In the end, though, she decides not to say anything and instead simply brings him into a gentle embrace. Crosshairs doesn't reciprocate right away, as she expects, but it only takes a few seconds before he accepts it and buries his face into her hair. Ellie rests her chin on his shoulder and whispers, "Well, I'm right here."

They stay this way for a moment, content in each other's arms. Once Ellie slowly pulls away, though, she knows that this would be a good time to talk about... about whatever this strange thing is between them. A little awkwardly, she clears her throat and murmurs, "Crosshairs, there's, uh, something I think we need to talk about..."

He tilts his head, but Ellie quickly realizes that he's not even looking at her, but at her shoulder. Without warning he brushes her hair away, grabs her sleeve and tugs it down. Ellie squeaks, "What are you - hey!"

"What is this?" He asks, blue eyes suddenly very focused on her bare shoulder. It takes only a moment for her to realize what he's looking at and hastily pulls her sleeve back. Her shirt hangs loosely at the shoulders, though, so it still doesn't completely cover what she's trying to hide.

"I - it's nothing, Crosshairs. It's just a... scar."

"A scar," he frowns at her, "Looked like a fraggin' bite mark."

"...It is," she mumbles. When that only seems to upset Crosshairs even more, she babbles out, "But it's old, Crosshairs. Like, many years old. It's fine. I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about-"

He interrupts her with a simple question that Ellie is too reluctant to answer. "He do that to you?"

She opens her mouth, but finds herself unable to speak. Instead Ellie swallows the nervous lump in her throat and looks away. She feels... ashamed. Her hand subconsciously touches at the scar, vaguely remembering how she'd gotten it. It's not her fault, she knows, but still there's a wave of hot embarrassment hitting her. She's unable to meet his eyes, at least until she feels his hand over her own.

"Can I see?" He asks. Crosshairs's voice is the softest she's ever heard it, and though she so badly wants to keep it all hidden away, the genuine worry on his face finally encourages Ellie to nod silently and let him pry her hand away.

Gentle fingers trace the faint scar. It's not very noticable unless one is as close to her as he is. Ellie can't help but to tremble just slightly under his touch, faintly recalling that particular memory. After a moment, once she gathers enough internal strength to speak, she whispers, "Yes, it's from Thomas. Sometimes he was, um... harsh. In bed..."

Crosshairs's face twists with a mixture of anger and sympathy. His hand carefully moves from her shoulder to her neck, thumb brushing just under her jaw, "Got one here, too. Saw it before."

Ellie nods, "That one's from a knife. He threatened me with it but he was also drunk, so... he cut me a little."

He shakes his head in near-disbelief, very clearly disturbed that someone has done this to her. It's so new to Ellie, being handled and cared for like this. His touch is always so gentle for someone who's so large and powerful, and just like before she can feel her heart thud just from his presence alone. It gives her the urge to allow herself to be vulnerable to Crosshairs, just as he's been for her, because she knows for a fact that he will never hurt her.

"There's more," she says, before she can stop herself. It's terrifying to her to be this open, but after Thomas's sudden appearance, Crosshairs deserves to know more. Still, Ellie hugs herself and looks away after admitting that.

She hears him sputter, "You're tellin' me he did _more_ to you?"

Ellie loses her strength to speak, so instead she decides to show him. Swallowing the nervous lump in her throat, she slowly turns her back to him. Then, after taking a moment to gather her bearings, she quietly pulls her shirt over her head, shoulders hunched in inevitable shame.

The bedroom's cool air and prickling silence bite at her bare skin. Ellie closes her eyes, simply unable to watch Crosshairs's reaction in the mirror in front of her. It takes a long moment for anything to happen, but she hears what can only be described as a suppressed growl from Crosshairs. Suddenly he touches her, only slightly startling her, but his touch is still every bit as gentle as it's been before, and brings forth a warmth that she's only ever felt with him.

Ellie takes a deep breath and pulls her hair over one shoulder to allow him a better view. His fingers skim over every nick and white mark on her upper back and the backs of her shoulders, using light pressure, as if they were still open wounds and still hurt in some way. Despite them being old scars, the emotional pain lingered, making Crosshairs's extra care all that more significant to her. Ellie adjusts her bra strap nervously, then sighs softly.

"I should have pressed charges," she whispers, "I could have, but... I was younger. And scared. He threatened me if I ever told anyone and like an idiot, I listened to him. Even when we divorced, I felt like he would somehow... find a way to get back at me, if I tried to file for abuse. I guess I still could, but..." Ellie trails off as something comes to mind that causes her eyes to widen a fraction.

Crosshairs growls again behind her, then mutters in a dangerous tone, "I should've killed him."

As morbidly touching as it is, Ellie's glad that he didn't. She turns around, meeting Crosshairs's eyes, briefly appreciating how he solely focuses on her and not her body. She frowns, "Oh God... I just realized something..."

"What's that?"

Ellie takes a moment to slip her shirt back on before saying hesitantly, "So... you know that Thomas and I are divorced. We have been for years now. This was the first time he's ever actually come here, but now that he has, we might be in trouble..."

Crosshairs tilts his head, "I don't get it."

"Crosshairs, there are... legalities, to this situation," Ellie explains, shaking her head, "He violated the restraining order I have on him, so I could file for that. But also, since he saw you... he could file for a violation of our alimony." When Crosshairs still doesn't seem to understand, she explains further, "It's Virginia law. He's required to pay me because I was a dependent, and because I have custody of the kids. The issue is that... well, I'm not supposed to cohabitate. He doesn't know that you're an Autobot, so..."

"He could say I'm here," Crosshairs finishes.

Ellie nods, "He could say that there's another man living with me, yes. And that would put all of us in a very... _very_ bad place, if someone comes for an inspection."

"...So what then?"

"I don't know... I don't know!" Ellie turns away, hands in her hair as she begins to grasp just how much trouble Thomas might cause, "I could try to call him and tell him that you don't live here, but that's assuming he'd ever listen to me. Christ, if he presses charges, that'll make this all so much worse! The only way I can think of to stop him is to hang that restraining order violation over him and hope he won't say anything, but-!"

"Hey, easy doll," Crosshairs's hand on her shoulder quells her restless rambling and turns her back around. Ellie stares at him helplessly before she shakes her head and leans into him, hoping in some impossible way that doing so will shroud her from it all.

"You're in danger, Crosshairs."

"I've always been in danger."

"Yes, but this is different," Ellie murmurs into his chest, "I won't be able to protect you or hide you if Thomas presses charges. I know I've told you to stay, but now-"

Crosshairs growls, "No. Ain't leavin' you to deal with him alone."

"Crosshairs, you don't understand..."

He pulls back and makes her look at him, "I understand enough," he pauses for a moment, and then asks her, "Worst comes to worst, you have anywhere you can go?"

Ellie frowns, "I have my sister."

"Yeah? Where's she?"

"...Across the country."

Crosshairs doesn't say anything. It's probably only dawning on him now how bad things may get. Ellie sighs softly and pulls away. Her mind races with the hundreds of possibilities, which only succeeds in unraveling her nerves even more. There's no way of knowing what Thomas will do unless she talks to him, and that it something she is far too terrified to do.

"Hey," he says, and Ellie feels him touch her arm. She looks back at him, sees the unnerve in his eyes, and knows right away that he's just as wary as she is. But then there's a shift in Crosshairs, a subtle click, as if something comes to mind. He gestures to the door with his head.

"You wanna take a drive?"

* * *

The riverside is a perfect distraction for Ellie. There's a soft blanket of snow covering the area, giving it a nearly magical feel. With her hands in her coat pockets she's walking alongside Crosshairs, who's standing in his bipedal form.

"Does it bother you?"

He glances down at her, optics glowing with interest, "What?"

Ellie gestures all around her, to the snow covering the riverside and the light pelt of snowflakes only just beginning to fall once more, "The cold. Does it affect you at all?"

Crosshairs doesn't initially respond. He shifts a little where he's standing beside her and lifts a hand up, watching the flakes land in his palm. His black frame is a stark contrast against the winter environment, Ellie muses.

"Not at this temperature," he says, setting his hand down, "Subzero, though, that slag will mess us up. Ice in the joints, core temperature failure, supercooled armor... stuff like that is risky."

She nods, intrigued. The media has always painted Cybertronians as practically invincible, but even they have weaknesses, extreme weather being one of them, it seems. For a little while they settle in silence, comfortable with enjoying the peaceful atmosphere for as long as they can. Eventually Crosshairs sits down, and Ellie glances at his hand now pressed into the snow, furrowing her brows as she catches a glimpse of something.

"What's this?"

Ellie scoots closer and very carefully reaches out, tracing what seems to be a long and irregular groove across the back of Crosshairs's metallic hand. She's surprised that he's warm to the touch despite the cool temperature.

Crosshairs raises his hand, angling it so that he can see. He hums, "'S a scar. Old one."

Ellie raises a brow, "You too, huh?"

It's meant to be a joke, but she can't help but to shudder a little. She usually tries to forget the marks that Thomas left behind. Clutching on her coat, she asks, "How'd you get it?"

Crosshairs rubs over the scar in thought, "This? Got this one way before the war started. Worked at a weapons manufacturing shop with my sire. Slipped up one time and-" he mimics an object slicing the back of his hand, "-piece of machinery cut through. Nearly took my fraggin' servo clean off."

Ellie winces, "Sounds like that was really painful."

He shrugs, "I was young. Had worse injuries since then."

Crosshairs glances down at her first a moment, and then reaches for her, stopping for a moment to ask, "You trust me?"

She hesitates. What kind of question is that? Ellie eyes his hand, but she's not afraid. She's never had to be, with him. Taking in a small breath, she nods, "I do..."

Without warning Ellie is picked up off of the ground, causing her to yelp. She falls back into Crosshairs's palm, momentarily too scared to move, then glares at him as he beings her somewhat eye level with him. "Goodness, you could have warned me!"

Crosshairs's optics gleam with mirth, "What, you scared of heights, doll?"

"No, but I am scared of being snatched off the ground!" Ellie huffs, "Why'd you pick me up, anyway?"

"To show you somethin'," he answers. With his free hand, Crosshairs touches at the right side of his face. He traces over a groove on what would be his 'cheekbone', if he had one. It catches her attention - Ellie's never noticed it before.

"You see it?"

"Yes, what is it? Another scar?"

"Mmhm. One of my nastier ones," he mumbles, touching at it again.

Ellie tilts her head to get a better look. She's struck with a sudden urge to reach out, but she's not close enough. It's intriguing to be this close to him, where she can see all the intricate plating that structure his face. The scar is a ragged mark across his cheek, as if he'd been sliced there.

She lifts a hand, "Can I...?"

She's unsure of how to finish her question, knowing how awkward it might sound. But Crosshairs seems to understand all the same and brings her a little closer, granting her silent permission. Ellie stands up on his palm and gently touches his silver facial plating, fingers tracing the scar for herself. Crosshairs shutters his optics and lets her explore.

"This one is deep," she whispers. The scar is definitely more severe looking than the one on his hand. She wonders how bad it was when it was an open wound. "Where did it come from?"

"Decepticon," he says, optics still off, "Battle of Tyger Pax. I was hidin' out up high, snipin'. Some 'Con tracked my location, snuck up on me, caught me right there with a claw. Almost lost an optic."

She hisses inwardly, just imagining that scene. Claws to the face? Decepticons must truly be as ruthless as they look. Withdrawing her hand, Ellie sits back, "It's a good thing you didn't. Losing an eye probably sucks as much to you guys as it does with humans."

"Kinda, yeah," he says, with a short laugh. Carefully he sets her back down to the ground, where Ellie feels much more stable. She briefly pulls out her phone to check the time, seeing that there's still a couple hours before she needs to pick up her children.

Crosshairs transforms behind her, Ellie turning around in time to see the fascinating scene. Once his tall form is folded down into a black Corvette, his holoform appears at its front. She raises a brow - it will never _not_ bother her how he can wear just a t-shirt in this type of weather and not be affected at all.

As she walks up to him, she remarks with a small chuckle, "I guess we're both some pretty beat up individuals, huh?"

Crosshairs nods a little, "We ain't all that different."

"Yeah, well, my scars still don't really compare to yours," Ellie says.

Crosshairs shakes his head, "'S not true. You just came out of a different battlefield, doll."

That makes her pause. She's never thought of it that way - that she's been fighting a war herself. While Crosshairs has been on the physical battlefield, dodging and delivering bullets, for years she's been on the psychological one, fighting an enemy that's frightening enough to compare to any Decepticon.

"That may be true, but... I'm still no soldier."

He touches her face. It seems like an impulse, something Crosshairs simply can't resist to do, but she welcomes it all the same and presses into his hand just slightly. She can feel him leaning towards her as he murmurs, "Don't have to be. Not while I'm here."

It's a pledge, she realizes. A pledge that as long as Crosshairs is here, standing before her, he will strive to protect her. He will be the soldier. _Her_ soldier.

With her heart pounding and her breathing labored, she tips her head up, closes her eyes, and Crosshairs doesn't hesitate. He eliminates the space between them, taking her face in his hands as he brings her into a gentle kiss. Ellie reaches for him, almost desperate, and instantly a warmth blooms within her, flowing through her veins like liquid fire. She deepens the kiss and is unable to hold back the tiny moan that escapes her, one which spurs him on as the kiss breaks only for Crosshairs to come back for another.

Ellie can feel it. His pain and her pain, mixing into one single tirade of overwhelming emotion that flirts between the two of them while they cling to one another. It takes considerable strength for her to pull away this time, but she does, and takes interest to his jawline, peppered by stubble that tickles her lips as she travels down to his jugular. His soft groan against her ear makes her smile. She finds what she's looking for and presses a kiss to it - Crosshairs's pulse, which does not thump in a rhythm, but hums in a continuous, soft vibration.

_Cybertronian_, a voice says in her head. _Alien. Not human. Wrong._

She pauses, but Crosshairs only sees it as opportunity and begins his own series of kisses just underneath her ear, a sensitive space that makes her gasp. It prevents her from processing her own thoughts, so Ellie promptly decides to abandon them and gives into the sensations she's experiencing. Their lips meet again, this time with a fervor. Something bumps the back of her legs and Ellie squeaks, remembering suddenly that Crosshairs's true form is behind her.

The Corvette purrs. She can feel it through the front bumper, pressed to her calves. An abrupt wave of boldness hits her, causing Ellie to pull back. She gives the holoform a coy look before she sits and leans back. Further, further, until she's spread out over Crosshairs's long hood, flat against the warm, black surface. And Crosshairs follows her eagerly, his bright blue eyes locked onto her with a heated, sultry stare that pierces her down to the bone. He wastes no time finding her lips again.

Ellie is nearly overwhelmed by it all. Every kiss, and touch, and every breath exchanged fills her with more and more heat. Crosshairs is everywhere - above and beneath her, and yet she's never felt safer. Her heart thumps rapidly, just as his spark is spiking in his chest and under his hood. Despite the freezing temperatures, the warmth has become too much. Ellie fumbles with the zipper of her coat.

Somehow, in some way, she manages to shed free and all but tosses it into the snow. Left in just a light sweater, the coldness threatens to reach her. But nothing can permeate _this_, this heat that's consuming them to the core, so intense and yet they still want more.

Crosshairs, in a tender moment, averts his lips and brings them to her jugular - a particular place. He kisses the scar, and then moves lower to her shoulder, locating the mark there and offering it the very same attention. _A different battlefield._

Ellie smiles. He brings his head back to look at her, so she takes his face and brings him in, pressing her lips to his right cheekbone - where his own scar would be. She then takes the back of his hand and brings it to her lips softly. She opens her eyes to see Crosshairs staring at her with an expression she can't describe, but intense nonetheless. Her fingers clutch at his powerful shoulders as he kisses her again, then lowers one hand and drags her fingernails over his hood, enticing a positively primal growl from Crosshairs.

The little voice in her head is still there, whispering things that are promptly muted as quickly as they come. But suddenly Ellie feels a large palm slip under her sweater, pressed to her bare arched back, and she's finally falling back into reason. _What is this? What are __we__ doing?_

"Cross..._mm_..." she has to force herself to separate from him and pushes on him gently, "Wait, Crosshairs, stop... stop..."

As soon as she turns away, Crosshairs withdraws, looking as though he's snapped out of the trance himself. Ellie's face is flushed, her chest heaving from the adrenaline of what had just happened. Their eyes meet, and a short awkward silence hangs between them.

"Frag," he swears, and then Ellie feels cold. His holoform all but springs off of her, as if she's burned him, and turns away. When he looks back at her, he frowns, "Frag, Ellie, I'm sorry..."

"Sorry?" Ellie sits up, not entirely sure what he means, "Sorry for what?"

Crosshairs shifts, as if ashamed, "I didn't... didn't mean to force myself on you..."

Ellie's mouth falls open, realizing what he must be thinking. She scoots off of his hood and stands up, shaking her head in reassurance, "Oh, no. Crosshairs, you weren't forcing yourself on me. It wasn't that, I promise, it's just that... that..." she fumbles for the right words, "I... I don't know what this is, and I think that, um, maybe we should talk about it?"

Crosshairs doesn't initially respond, which only makes Ellie feel even more awkward. With a shuffle of her feet, she falls into her nervous habit of rambling, "I mean, it's just that I'm... me, and you're you, you know? We're not... we're different, so I'm not sure if this all is genuine, or misplaced, or-"

"You think I'd fake this?" He asks, voice on the verge between offense and disbelief. Ellie hesitates.

"I... well, no, of course not," the cold begins to prickle into her, so she takes a moment to find her coat in the snow and shake it off before slipping it back on. Still though, a chill lingers deep inside. "I just want to know what _this_ is, between us..."

Crosshairs opens his mouth, but no words come out. He tries again, only for an unsure sigh to come out. He shifts on his feet uncomfortably and averts his gaze. It's then that Ellie realizes that he doesn't even have an answer - that Crosshairs is just as clueless to what has developed between them as she is.

Ellie decides to try again at a different angle, "What about back in the kitchen, when you... ah, kissed me. Why did you do it?"

"Because I wanted to," Crosshairs blurts, evidently before he can stop himself. Ellie isn't sure how to reply to that little revelation, but luckily she doesn't have to. Crosshairs swallows nervously, in a way that tells her that he definitely isn't the type who opens up about how he feels at all. "Because... because I stop hurting, with you..."

And just like that, Ellie's heart all but shatters into pieces. She watches as the Autobot before her eyes delves deeper into his emotional turmoil, until he explodes with a broken voice.

"I don't know! I don't fraggin' _know_ what it is, Ellie, but," he looks away abruptly. Brings the back of his hand to his mouth, as if to suppress a sob, "It won't stop! The memory feedback! The screams! The explosions! The pain! The... the..." he shudders, "Blue, dead in my arms. It won't stop, none of it! I can't get it to go away! And it hurts, it fraggin' _hurts_! I can't stand this fraggin' pain, and the only way I can get it to stop is when... is when I'm with you..."

Ellie is at a complete loss, "Crosshairs..."

He shakes his head for a moment, like he's disoriented. Then, a distressed noise is all that she gets as a forewarning before Crosshairs's holoform collapses on his knees. Ellie is quick to kneel in front of him, hands to his chest to keep him steady. He does nothing momentarily, his eyes distant and face distraught. Getting all of that out was incredibly difficult for him to do.

A sob escapes him, "You take the pain away..."

_You do me a favor and hold on to him, you hear?_

"Hey," she whispers, placing a soft hand to his face, "Look at me, Crosshairs..."

_A man like him needs a woman like you in his life._

"Please, look at me."

It takes a moment, but he's finally coaxed enough to meet her eyes. He's tense, but shaking at the same time - a tight spring ready to snap. Ellie calms him down in the one way she now knows, by leaning forward and pressing a delicate kiss to his lips. It's softer than their previous ones, meant to heal and comfort, and Crosshairs kisses back, desperate for all that she's giving.

When she pulls back, she thumbs his cheek and says, "Tell me what you feel now."

Crosshairs whimpers, "I can't."

"Yes, you can. It's okay," another soft kiss, "Tell me. Are you hurting right now?"

"...No."

"That's good. What do you feel, then?"

"...Weak."

Ellie frowns, "Weak, why?"

He shakes his head, unable to answer. But it's through his shameful expression that Ellie is able to understand. "No, Crosshairs. This isn't weakness. You're in pain, and you're suffering - it's okay to cry. It's okay to have emotions. There's nothing wrong with it. Please don't be afraid to open up to me. You've done it before, remember? And it helped you to let it out, didn't it?"

Crosshairs hesitates, but he nods wordlessly. Ellie gives him another gentle kiss, then smiles against his lips, "Can I tell you something?"

She leans back a little, meeting his eyes once again. With a deep breath, Ellie takes a moment to brush a lock of hair out of his face before confessing softly, "You take my pain away, too."

His brows furrow, "But I scare you."

"No. I scare myself," she pulls the lock of hair away again. She swears his hair is getting longer, "The times I see Thomas are nothing but my subconscious. Like when you see Bluestreak sometimes. It just happens." Ellie takes his hand and squeezes it, "Crosshairs, you've made me feel safer than I have in a very, very long time. You've helped me fight my own demons. Please let me help you fight yours."

Crosshairs clenches his jaw tightly - a telltale sign that he's furiously fighting back his emotions, so Ellie makes it her goal to open him up again and let it out. She whispers words of comfort and offers precious kisses and finally, Crosshairs breaks, and out comes all of the sobs and the tears and the built up pain he's kept in for so long. And Ellie holds him through it, fighting her own tears as she listens to this broken man - this broken mech - cry out his trauma.

How long as he hid this, Ellie wonders? How many sleepless nights? How many horrors come and go in his head? How many times has Bluestreak come back to remind him of his loss?

_This is what __humanity__ has done to him_, a voice whispers._ To all of the Autobots._

"I'm sorry, Crosshairs," she says as she holds him close, "I'm so, so sorry..."

Ellie's knees are cold and wet, from kneeling in the snow for so long. The cold temperature brings out a flush in her cheeks and nose, but she forces herself to ignore it. She doesn't care. Crosshairs slowly pulls back, once he quiets down. He looks emotionally exhausted, but there's relief in his eyes, too. After a moment he touches her cheek, seeing the pink tint to her skin, "You're cold."

"I'm fine. That doesn't matter right now," Ellie brushes his fingers away. Crosshairs casts her a long and hesitant look - the kind of look he gives when there's something he wants to say, but doesn't know how to get out. She asks him softly, "What?"

"I..." he pauses, "It wasn't just 'cause of the pain, Ellie."

She blinks, not quite knowing what that means, "What?"

"I didn't kiss you just to make myself feel better."

_Oh, we're __going__ back to that. _Ellie can feel a sudden heat to her cheeks that is luckily hidden by her already chilled face. Is he trying to say what she thinks he's trying to say? "Oh... really?"

He nods, and then gets up. Ellie takes his hand when he offers, but Crosshairs doesn't let go even once she's up. With a firm but gentle grip on her hand, he says, "I fraggin' suck at sayin' what I feel. You know that, but doll..." he brings her hand up, pressing her palm to the center of his chest, "I do... _like_ you..."

Ellie find it impossible to form words for a moment. As his words sink in, she can feel her heart beat just a little faster. Crosshairs likes her? It seems so bizarre to her. How is it that they, as two very different species, have come to this point? But slowly a warmth blooms within her - a warmth that she knows means that Crosshairs's little confession is anything but unrequited.

She opens her mouth, but evidently the pause was just long enough to make him worry. Ellie is thrown for a loop as it's now Crosshairs, for the first time, who falls into nervous rambling, "Fraggit, I shouldn't have said anythin'. 'M sorry, I just - you wanted me to, uh, say what I feel, and I... gah, slag -"

Ellie almost laughs, but she promptly decides that it isn't appropriate and instead just grins widely. She slides her hand behind his head and pulls him down, cutting of his words with a kiss. It's different from earlier, not meant for comfort, but meant to send a message. When she pulls away, she simply can't stop the smile on her lips as she says softly, "I like you too, Crosshairs."

Gently she takes his hand and presses it to her own chest, in the same manner as he'd done before. Her heart thuds and there's no doubt that Crosshairs can feel it. Taking a deep breath Ellie says in a hopeful voice, "I know that we're... not the same species. And I know that makes this very strange and unorthodox. But... I think... I'm willing to try this with you Crosshairs, if you are."

* * *

He can't believe what he's hearing.

Frag it all, there's no way he can resist her now. Crosshairs knew, from the very first time he was compelled to kiss her after Thomas, that he was doomed. He has no clue as to how this attraction started, or even when exactly, but all he knows is that a human femme has successfully wedged herself a place in his thrumming spark. This lovely, delicate creature who is his light, his only source of solace from his indescribable pain.

Only moments before he'd broken down into a pitiful sobbing mess. Again. And still, _still_, Ellie wants him as much as he wants her. Even in his weakest moments, she sees nothing but strength in him. And yet...

"I'm a fraggin' mess, doll," he murmurs.

She laughs a little, shaking her head, "You're telling _me_."

He huffs. That's a fair point, he supposes. No matter their species, they are still two very broken, emotional messes. Ellie stares up at him thoughtfully. There's a slight shiver in her, telling him that the cold is beginning to affect her, so he takes her small hands and tugs her into him. He speaks into her soft blonde hair, "You sure you can handle me?"

"I like to think I've handled you pretty well so far, for a big guy who decided to drop on my lawn unexpectedly."

Crosshairs lets out a small chuckle. Silently he closes his eyes and breathes in her sweet scent for a moment, feeling more at peace now with her in his arms than he has in a long, long time. Yes, this a very unique and unorthodox situation. Yes, it's potentially dangerous. And yes, it seems initially impossible to pursue. But frag, if the way his spark hums contently in her presence is any indication, he's damn well willing to try it, with her.

"If we're doin' this, we're doin' it slow, yeah?"

Ellie looks up at him and smiles softly, nodding, "Yeah, that's a good idea. Let's take it slow and... explore."

Explore. He likes that term. They're committing to nothing more but to see where they end up, and how deep they're feelings may go. It's strange - Crosshairs is certainly no beginner to relationships, even courted a few times in his younger vorns, but this? This is something special and nothing like anything he's ever experienced before. No previous partner has ever managed to get his spark to jump around and pulse tenfold like Ellie has. Then again, he's never emotionally opened up to any of them, either.

The subtle shiver in Ellie's small body pulls him from his personal musings. He gazes down at her flushed face and jerks his head towards his real self, parked nearby, "Let's go back, before ya freeze to death."

Ellie's laugh is more beautiful to him than any star in the universe. "Yes, please. Let's go home."


End file.
